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Victor Wembanyama put on quite a show against the Bucks

You can’t spell “awake moonbeam mutant pony” without “Wembanyama” and “Antetokounmpo.”

NBA: Milwaukee Bucks at San Antonio Spurs Scott Wachter-USA TODAY Sports

In what would be a lively game against an elite team, the young Spurs showed out in a Thursday thriller. Devin Vassell led the team with 34 points while post-teen Victor Wembanyama went off for 27 points, 8 rebounds, and 5 blocks. Keldon Johnson notched a double-double with 14 points and 10 rebounds, and Tre Jones (starting for the first time this season) contributed 18 points and 6 rebounds.

Despite the close loss, several plays stood out in a very competitive game. Devin Vassell, in particular, managed to record his second-highest scoring game of the season (and career). Vassell was en fuego de tres all night going 6-9 and providing an overall uber efficient scoring effort.

Victor Wembanyama still cannot order an alcoholic drink (in the United States — before 12 PM on a Sunday in Texas — nor after midnight in Smith County), but he is already carrying a team, organization, and city on his shoulders well before the ripe age of 21. Then we’ll celebrate with to-go margaritas from Taco Cabana!

Oh yeah, the birthday phenom went toe-to-go with one Giannis Antetokounmpo and delivered a bevy of exciting plays.

One of the biggest things I miss about going to Spurs games at the Center Formerly Known as AT&T is the electric atmosphere. This clip of Wembanyama tying the game up with a three as the crowd roars to its feet does not help my FOMO.

Keldon Johnson is a walking OSHA violation. You could rub this play on Mr. Clean’s shiny, pristine head, and it’d still be filthy. This play is so filthy, my dog wants to roll around in it and track mud all over my house. This play is so filthy, my toddler wants to hold it in her hands and redecorate the walls with her prints. This play is so filthy, it reminded me that I need to clean my house: my dog and my child are a pair of grimy hyperactive walking tornadoes.

On this play, Jeremy Sochan found Wembanyama for a thunderous dunk. The rookie still played under 30 minutes as per his recent minutes restrictions for injury management, but you wouldn’t have known it the way he was flying all over the court and had his fingerprints on every play on both ends of the court.

OK, Wembanyama, we want you channel your inner Tracy McGrady at the 2002 All-Star Game but make it look even more astounding.

Wow! OK impressive, but can you rub your belly and pat your head at the same time? Can you buy alcohol in North America? Can you open this jar of pickles? Can you do all of that while defending a pick-and-roll? (He probably can in two years.)

Someone circled this game against the Bucks on his calendar, and his name rhymes with Johnny Drama (Entourage), Benihana, and Oxford Comma (the punctuation, not the hit song from the bloodsucking non-Monday-having indie rock band).

After all, you cannot spell “amputate anyone know mambo” without “Wembanyama” and “Antetokounmpo.” (Disclaimer: I spent too much time putting those two names in an anagram generator and reading the results.)

Showoff. I’m talking about that lucky fan in the frame below who had front row seats to this incredible play and got to eat popcorn at the same time. What a showoff. Also what a play! I have no words. I had some words to type, but my hands were too busy picking my jaw off the floor.

If you missed the game because you were too busy playing around with an anagram generator on the internet, here are the full-game highlights:

Next up, the Spurs head to Cleveland to take on the Cavaliers on Sunday, January 7, 2024.