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Did I just find the ugliest Spurs memorabilia?

If it was Halloween, I’d think I was being haunted.

NBA: Houston Rockets at San Antonio Spurs Aaron Meullion-USA TODAY Sports

I can be notoriously slow at unpacking. I’ve lived in my house for over two-and-a-half years now, and I just came across an unmarked box. I opened it and found knickknacks that I had on display at my desk at work in San Antonio, but my cubicle here in Houston is smaller and lacks the display shelf I had before, so clearly it had been brought home and forgotten ... until now.

The box had some gifted coffee mugs, a few framed pictures, a stuffed Reveille (the rough collie mascot of Texas A&M University), and a poor Manu Ginobili bobblehead that had broken off at the feet. (That’s okay, I needed a reason to go buy more superglue anyways.) It’s not the best or most accurate looking Manu, but I’ve seen worse.

And then, there was this:

It seems innocuous enough: just a fat, ceramic Coyote and clearly a Russian doll (that won’t close completely now that it’s been opened). The hair is a little crazy looking, but nothing too bad. However, it’s when you open it that things become disturbing:

The middle doll is another Manu, and man that one is disturbing. It almost makes the bobblehead look like a masterpiece. The smile and poor paint job on the teeth is pretty bad, but we’re not done yet.

Now that’s just awful. Clearly, it’s Tony Parker, but probably the spookiest one I’ve seen to this day. That’s not at all what he looks like. The weird smile with the protruding eyebrows, the ugly, stringy hair even though he usually has a pretty tight cut, and the lack of neck — even more so than the Manu or Coyote one — is just a few critiques I have of it.

My only guess is this came from my grandparents, who were season ticket holders in the 2000’s and early 2010’s when they were physically able to go to the games. They would often get little gifts like this from the team, and my grandmother has knack for giving me stuff whenever I visit, whether it’s random pictures from albums or Spurs memorabilia. Regardless, Manu and Tony will clearly be staying inside the Coyote, and the whole thing just might be going back in a box — or at least a drawer until the next time I accidently find it.

What do you think, Pounders? Do you have any uglier Spurs memorabilia? Tell us all about it in the comments below!