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Epic Preview: Spur Trek into darkness

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Every year the playoffs give us an excuse to photoshop Spurs into a different fictional universe. For the first round matchup with the Grizzlies, we've chosen Star Trek.

Star Trek is a property of Paramount Pictures
Star Trek is a property of Paramount Pictures

The Spur Trek universe is in flux. After a gut-wrenching loss in a seven day battle to the hostile Clip brigade, Captain Pop searches for new blood, a crew member who can lead the crew against the upcoming onslaught from multiple Warrior races. The newly promoted Admiral travels to the outskirts of Portlanda, convinced the sharp-shooter LaMark S. AlKirk has the skills to captain the newly minted LOB Enterprise.

After convincing LaMark to join the Spurs federation, the two travel back to the home port of Antonio for introduction to the entrenched crew. The inimitable passing doctor, Manu "Bones" McCoy (so named for an unfortunate broken arm injury), is in disbelief. How will the individualistic AlKirk blend into the federation-first ethos of the Spurs? Kapock, the logical and emotionless acting captain of the LOB Enterprise, believes in defense first. Can these two co-exist with the new crew member, who tends to shoot first and pass later?

While desperately trying to integrate the new crew member into the Spurs order, the communications officer intercepts a scrambled distress message. Bohura, a savant in directing traffic throughout the ship, translates the message, discovering a disturbing underlying threat in the language of Grit 'n' Grind. The use of this obscure dialect can only mean one enemy...

The cantankerous ZeBo, upset at the ongoing destruction of his beloved Grizzleus, blames the Spurs federation for the ultimate demise of his world. Although the Grizzleans prevailed in an epic skirmish during star date 2011, the Spurs have systematically beaten them in every battle since, almost sweeping the Grizzleans out of existence a mere two years later. ZeBo, marshalling the meager remaining members of his race, vows to extinguish the Spurs or die trying.

The Grizzlean captain, realizing his only hope of prevailing is to fracture the teamwork of the Spurs crew, targets the irreplaceable Kapock. Hoping to tap into the dichotomy between Kapock and LaMark, ZeBo threatens to unleash lethal MaToLance matter into the atmosphere of Antonio. Kapock wants to return to the home port to defend his world, while AlKirk advocates going on the offensive to destroy the Grizzleans before they can make good on their deadly intent. Kapock wins the offense/defense debate, and LaMark is exiled to the cold world of Denia Winsa. While trying to make his way to any sort of civilization, AlKirk is chased by a horrific noplayoffrilla monster into a dead-end cave. He is saved by an unknown man, who banks rocks off the creature's face, eventually scaring off the beast. The man turns around and introduces himself as Timock - Kapock's older, future self.

Timock convinces AlKirk that the best way to defeat ZeBo and the Grizzleans is to meld his offensive weapons with the defensive traits of the younger Kapock. While AlKirk has trouble understanding the alternate timeline that Timock comes from (as do the rest of us), he agrees to go back for the sake of saving the Spurs' federation. The duo make their way to a remote Australian outpost and meet a young Spur Trek officer, Montgomery Patt, who wants nothing more than to join the fight. With the help of Timock, Patty channels his massive energy burst and beams both he and LaMark onto the LOB Enterprise.

Once aboard the Enterprise again, AlKirk uses tips from Timock to rebound and bring Kapock out of his silent, emotionless shell. Realizing that the only way to save Antonio and themselves from the menacing ZeBo, Kapock agrees to join forces with LaMark and attack the Grizzleans on their own ground. The pair beam onto the enemy ship, the Memphisa, with the idea of imploding the volatile MaToLance matter, thereby destroying the ship, the remaining Grizzleans, and future threats to the federation.

Bones, remembering the grinding physicality of past battles, has his concerns. Tolu and Danhov are confident in the Spurs' ability to steer and shoot through the enemy's defenses. Can the crew prevail, bringing about the final destruction of Grizzleans? Does LaMarck S. AlKirk overcome his relative inexperience in battle and lead the team to victory with his unconventional ways? Time will tell.