Win a basketball autographed by Matt Bonner, and meet him face to face

You love Matt Bonner, don't you? Of course you do. Coach B's instructional videos, Spuran Spuran's pop music mania, the crazy shooting exhibitions he's unleashed on the NBA. What's not to love? So, of course you know that in addition to appearing in Bolthouse Carrots' TV commercials, he's also the official brand ambassador for Big Red soda. And if I know you like I think I do, the only thing you prefer to watching funny Matt Bonner YouTube videos while eating carrots, it's watching funny Matt Bonner YouTube videos while drinking Big Red soda.

Which brings us to our contest. Three talented £ers will have a chance to prove their worth in the comments section and receive their very own Matt-Bonner-autographed basketball, details below. But first, a word from our sponsor.*

Please appreciate this handsome promotional image of Matt Bonner smiling and standing with a basketball while holding a receptacle filled with delicious Big Red soda. See his unshaven visage. Behold his pulchritudinous physique. Bask in his gentle smile. But if that's not enough and you'd like to experience Matt Bonner's charisma in person, then make plans to see him between the hours of 5pm and 6:30pm on Thursday, May 14th at the WalMart at 8538 IH-35, in San Antonio.

*Those words are not from any sponsor, they are JRW's own.

These are actual words from the sponsor:

"Big Red will be providing exclusive photos to be signed, and fans can bring other items (bonus points for bringing a Big Red bottle) for [Matt] Bonner to sign." While I'm not certain whether these bonus points are tangible or merely figurative, all interested parties are encouraged to bring Big Red bottles to find out for themselves.

And now to the contest.

All interested parties can take to the comments section below and submit one (1) essay not to exceed one hundred fifty (150) words explaining why you should be the winner of a basketball autographed by Matt Bonner of the San Antonio Spurs. Three (3) winners will be chosen by the PtR staff on 5-14-15 from among the entries. All contestants must be residents of Texas.

Here are the official rules of the contest.