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Tony Parker considering not being so aggressive (Parody)

Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

San Antonio Spurs All-Star Point Guard Tony Parker sprained his ankle in Game 4 of the Western Conference Final's against the Oklahoma City Thunder causing Parker to reconsider the theory of aggression.

"Normally, I just try to be aggressive," said Parker.  "But, really, what has it gotten me?  Is aggression really worth it if somebody, namely me, just ends up hurt?"

As he limped towards the locker room, grimacing in pain with each half step, Parker went on: "I mean, fans love it when I jet past some defender, leaving them looking like they're stuck in quicksand.  And quite honestly I get a jolt out of it too. But my jumper's improving and two points is two points, right?  Besides, I wouldn't want anybody thinking the Spurs are exciting all because I'm quicker with a basketball in my hands than most as I find a way to score through the thinnest sliver of light down among the big trees in the paint."

Parker went on to wax philosophical that all violence is aggression but all aggression is not necessarily violent, and that all societies have classified aggression into its own socially acceptable and unacceptable categories although these distinctions are not absolute.  "Freud said that human aggression stems from a death instinct while Konrad Lorenz insisted that a fighting instinct is necessary in a survival of the fittest world."

Parker seemed deeply troubled by these paradoxes.  "Right now my brain hurts more than my ankle."