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Why LeBron James would sign with the San Antonio Spurs

The Knicks are likely out, and the case for the Lakers isn't looking very good. Which begs the question: "Why not us?"

Andy Lyons

LeBron James has opted out of his contract with the Miami Heat, and according to the Los Angeles Times, the Lakers are looking to talk to him, but are "moving cautiously." What with Carmelo Anthony also opting out of his contract with the Knicks, the New York Post reports that a pairing of Anthony and James in the Big Apple "took a big hit." But New York's and LA's loss could be San Antonio's gain. After all, LeBron has already shown a predilection for joining a team for the purpose of winning a championship. And with all of the money he makes from his endorsements, it's not like he needs to sign a big contract with his next NBA team.

In fact, --

Ok, that's about as much as I can do with a straight face. But just because there's no chance of LeBron James signing with the Spurs doesn't mean we can't have fun laughing about the possibility. Which is precisely why I reached out to PtR's own Michael Erler and asked him for a list of reasons that James would call R.C. Buford to talk about getting his own silver and black jersey. Here's what he came up with:

1. Playing with Manu will get people to stop bringing up his hair line.

2. Thought blocking splitter was fun and wants to do it a bunch in practice.

3. He doesn't really want to be a Spur but is being sucked in by Diaw's gravitational pull.

4. Is jealous that nobody's ever rubbed his head after a good play.

5. Wanted to join a squad where the star shooting guard doesn't flop all the time and has a solid track record of being durable.

6. The Spurs are the only team in the league where he won't get criticized for passing the ball.

7. Likes the idea of playing fewer than 47 minutes a game.

8. Only way to get Kawhi Leonard to stop making him look bad on national television.

9. Is worried that if he stays in Miami, he may go to prison for murdering Mario Chalmers.

10. No Dan Gilbert.

11. Got tired of pretending that Chris bosh isn't a freaking weirdo.

12. Wants to go from playing with a guy who looked like a dinosaur to guys who are dinosaurs.

13. No one can resist Tony Parker's accent.

14. Thinks his game has finally developed to the point where he can play in the toughest basketball league in the world: the Western Conference of the NBA.

15. It'd make skip Bayless' head explode.

So there you have it: fifteen reasons LeBron would come to the Alamo City. Got any of your own to contribute?