It's funny, right?
Every year during the NBA playoffs, he delivers the goods, on time with a smile. He's the FedEx of fun. The oversized UPS man of good times. Who doesn't think he's hilarious? Besides, Charles Barkley is only saying what the rest of us are thinking anyway.
By now you know the formula. He'll talk about the Spurs being too old and how the Riverwalk is a creek and the AT&T Center is ugly. Then he'll move on to his timeless, golden material: All San Antonio women are fat and disgusting! It cracks me up every time, especially when the rest of the guys in the studio egg him on and laugh along.
If we've learned anything in America over the course of the past 150 years, it's that our purest form of entertainment is making fun of an entire class of people, regardless of the struggles they might face. It feels so good to never have to do any self reflection and instead paint a narrative that you're above an entire subsection of our population. And, as a bonus, TNT's ratings go up when Chuck shares his honest opinions about being disgusted by the fat women of San Antonio.
Because he is being honest, right? Haven't we been conditioned to take a man at his word, particularly when he uses the same words year in and year out to describe the female population in San Antonio? I mean if he says it, he has to believe it, right? It has to be in his heart. We've been taught that, time and again. He has to think fat, disgusting women aren't worthy of respect as humans because he always brings it up. And we all laugh.
I know when I'm watching Chuck talk about the disgustingly fat women of San Antonio I laugh until it hurts. I sometimes glance over at my wife and laugh at her. Then I make sure my daughter is listening closely, because she doesn't ever want to be classified with those people. She knows she'll have to take extra precautions someday to not disgust grown men on TV that might openly laugh at and mock her if she puts on a few pounds.
And fortunately my boys are picking up on it too. They know that if they want to avoid ridicule from professional broadcasters like Chuck, they'll have to find a nice, slender wife. Even at a young age, they understand that body type is paramount to their future happiness and nothing else matters much in the selection process. Because, as we all know, the boys are the ones that are doing the selecting anyway. It's completely their choice.
They also realize that they have a right to control their women to make sure their eating habits never reach the point of embarrassment. It's a win/win for men young and old, thanks to guys like Chuck.
And Chuck is helping teach my kids, and kids across the country, that words aren't hurtful as long as the majority of people think they're funny. That's the way it has always been and that's the way it will always be. So they might as well toughen up and get used to it.
Because as men we know it's fun to make fun of women. They aren't paying attention anyway. They're probably just reading Cosmo or thinking about their next meal.
So get up and stand tall Chuck, no matter how many guys it takes to help you off the floor. Know that we're here, standing behind you, waiting to laugh at the next group of people you decide are worthy of your jibes. Those 2nd class citizens that are beneath you are by extension beneath us as well.
Just make sure you're never caught on tape telling someone not to bring fat girls to the game. That might get you in a bit of trouble.