Continued from part 1 of this harmonious series - the role player edition. And now I give you, the rotation guys.
7. Boris Diaw - Eat It ("Weird Al" Yankovic):
It's no secret that Diaw loves his croissants. And foie gras. And baguettes. And maybe... basketballs? Anyway, the point is that Diaw has put on a lot of weight over the past few years. I mean a lot. You know what the second search result that comes up when you type "Boris Diaw" on Google? "Boris Diaw fat".
Most appropriate line: "Don't you tell me you're full. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. Get yourself an egg and beat it. Have some more chicken, have some more pie. It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried. Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it."
6. Manu Ginobili - Every Breath You Take (The Police)/Yesterday (The Beatles):
One song can't do Manu Ginobili justice. The man has had an amazing career, and there's no telling what would have happened if he weren't hampered by so many injuries. We're nearing the end of his career, and we don't know what he has left in his tank. "Yesterday" may be a bit premature, but Manu is not the player he once was.
Most appropriate line: "Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you." I don't know about you guys, but I appreciate any stroke of brilliance Manu can still give us. And "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be, there's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly." Have all of his injuries taken over his career? We'll find out in a few weeks.
5. Tiago Splitter - Fergalicious (Fergie)/As Long As You Love Me (Backstreet Boys):
Okay, I'll be honest - I'm kind of joking about the Fergalicious one, but doesn't Tiagolicious sound awesome? Contrarily, I could not be more serious about the Backstreet Boys song. Compare a picture of Tiago in street clothes to any of the Backstreet Boys, and I guarantee you won't be able to tell the difference. It's also noteworthy that the beloved boy band has a blonde basketball player in the group, as seen at the 0:09 mark - wait is that Splitter?
Most appropriate line: I think, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did as long as you love me" is fitting because of how all of the female Spurs fans feel about our fair-haired Brazilian.
4. Danny Green - Bed Intruder Song (Antoine Dodson and The Gregory Brothers):
Danny Green shattered and danced all over the record for three pointers made in an NBA Finals. He's hot and do you think he's going to stop just there? Aww hell naw. Stephen Curry's 272 regular season three-point record? Kobe Bryant and Donyell Marshall's 12 made threes in a game? Bob Skiles' 30 assists in a game? Bubba Wells' three minutes to foul out? Consider them all on notice.
Most appropriate line: "Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife," ‘cause Green is here to shoot some threes ... and you can run and tell that.
3. Tim Duncan - For the Longest Time (Billy Joel):
About 245 million years ago, the first combo professional basketball player-dinosaur was born. His name? Tim Duncan. That's at least what some of the NBA media would want you to believe. It seems as if Duncan's been around for the longest time. While most young'uns only appreciate insane athleticism and twerk-tastic music, Timmy and Billy are eternal classics that should always be treasured.
Most appropriate line: "If you said goodbye to me tonight, there would still be music left to write. What else could I do? I'm so inspired by you. That hasn't happened for the longest time." Duncan has to win that fifth ring before he can retire in my book. What else would we Spurs fans have to live for?
2. Kawhi Leonard - Superstar (Lupe Fiasco):
If you look at the lyrics to "Superstar", it's almost as if Lupe Fiasco picked out random words from the dictionary, formed sentences from these words that made slight grammatical sense, but not much else. People know the song is great but they don't particularly know why, much like Leonard. Kawhi has a good set of skills that somehow combine in such a way to make him look like an even better player.
Most appropriate line: "If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear; the camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know, oh, oh, oh." I think this translates to: don't worry about being in the spotlight if you are really a superstar. Kawhi certainly showed he could shine in the NBA Finals despite all of the pressure of guarding LeBron.
1. Tony Parker - Life in the Fast Lane (The Eagles):
It's pretty self-explanatory. Unless you've never seen a Spurs game before, you should know that Tony Parker is kind of fast. Parker tends to live life on the edge, and often risks his entire body (and then some) for a circus layup.
Most appropriate line: "Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind. Are you with me so far?" Watching Parker definitely makes me lose my mind. Most defenders are with him for the first second, and then he's gone.