The San Antonio Spurs' Rodeo Road Trip got off to a rocky start as the silver & black were torn apart by the Portland Trailblazers, led by LaMarcus Aldridge's career night. The Spurs simply couldn't find a way to contain Aldridge, who scored 40 points on a highly efficient 16-23 shooting and added 11 rebounds. Manu Ginobili topped all scorers on the Spurs' side with 17 points, while DeJuan Blair came up with 14 points and 12 rebounds, most of them coming in the first half as he was rendered completely ineffective in the second.
Let's try something different and hopefully not too painful, next.
Been wanting to try this one some time, but figured it'd be better to use in a loss. Since my recapping luck (I still think the mojo is dead) finally ran out and I'm now forced to recap a losing effort, I thought about finally trying it. The inspiration came from At The Hive's Visual Recaps, and while I can never top those, as well as Dave from BlazersEdge's hilariously clever use of figures of speech, I've decided to make the 'cap as quick and painless as possible. And also, because it's 1 am and I'm supposed to wake up in a few hours.
[pre-game chatter]
"Oh mama! It's my favorite time of the year, folks! Malik, can you guess what it is?"
"Hey, Bill. Thanks for having me here because Sean's too gimpy to go on road games. Uh... lemme see... spring time?"
"... It's not actually weather-related... try again!"
"Playing the Blazers, so we can talk about their injuries for 40 minutes or until the next injury scare?"
"Well... not really, bu--"
"I know, I know! Road games!!!"
"CLOSE! You're almost there..."
"Okay, okay, I finally got it. I got this. A ROAD GAME... against the BLAZERS! Damn I'm so much smarter than Sean..."
"Oh mama.... I don't know if I can survive nine games with this guy." /facepalm
[inside the locker room]
" 'Sup Manu?? CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW MY MORNING WENT? LOL"
/groans "Yes, what is it DeJuan?"
"I woke up this morning and noticed I had 6 rebounds already!!!! SIX! SMH!!! SMGDH!"
"Oi... I hope that's a good sign."
"Coach been tellin' me, man... just go out there and don't think! Just play because god is watching and he sees everything you do including sending tweets and auto-tuning with my homeboys and asking Pop to do bass vocals for my next album! LOLOLOL"
"I don't feel too good about this... " /double facepalm
[1st HALF!]
(miss)
(lolbound)
(putback)
(clank!)
(lolbound)
(putback)
(clank!)
(brick!)
(lolbound)
(fLOLter)
(scores)
(scores)
(swish!)
(scores)
"Somebody put a body on that man, goddamit!"
(swoosh!)
(scores)
(scores) "Whoa... I can do this all day, baby... ALL. DAY."
[end of 1st half]
[inside the Spurs locker room]
"I am sick of guys like West and Aldridge tearing us to pieces! I need defense, dammit! Who's with me???"
(looks at his feet)
(checks locker to see if there are any more alfajores left)
(staring at RJ, trying to play jedi mind tricks)
("Damn... why's Timmy lookin' at me like that?" /cold sweat)
"... ... ... LOL."
"THAT DOES IT! If nobody wants to play defense, then we're not going to play defense. Buncha wussies... " /walks out, slams door
[2nd HALF!]
(scores)
(bucket)
(swish!)
(scores)
"Holy cow... he's goooooo-oood."
"That could've been you, Greg. Actually... that could've been... us." /runs back to locker room, sobbing
"D'oh!"
(whistles) "Foul, Spurs No. 45."
"S-M-H... wasn't me!"
(swish!)
(scores)
(clank)
(ker-plunk!)
(whistles) "Foul, Spurs No. 45."
(goes to bench, haz a sad)
(scores)
(scores)
(gets hacked) "Aaaagghhh... foul??!"
"... ... ... "
(scores)
[buzzer sounds, Spurs lose, 86-99]
"How many points does Aldridge have?"
"I think he's at 40, Pop."
"Sweeeet. We limited him to 40. GREAT JOB, GUYS!"
[high fives all-around]
"We coulda won if I wasn't in foul trob... LOL."
"SHUT UP, DeJuan."
(pulls out phone to Tweet... typing) "I HATE LOSING!! SMH!!!"
[Meanwhile, in a corner, far, far away from everyone]
(sobs)
(tap tap tap)
(sobs)
(tap)
(via Twitter) "We lost today against the Blazers, we play bad the second half but next game will be different.."
(sobs)