Since the dawn of time (or what Hipuks considers the year of my birth), humans have developed rules of thumb. For instance, don't have a picnic in a field during a buffalo stampede. Don't let the kids tease the sabretooth tigers. And never, ever let a man lead the way, or you'll end up in a tar pit because he refused to ask for directions.
So not much has changed, right? Wrong! Over time, common sense has turned into superstition, which has turned into OCD, and no species has taken superstition to a higher level than the sports fan. You know you have that lucky shirt/hat that you pull out for the "big" games, or the routine you go through before games for "karma", or that one person you will never take to a game again because he whines when you drive 85 in the HOV lane (okay, maybe that last one is just me).
This brings me to our latest dilemna here at PtR - the preponderance of PtRockers breaking "unwritten rules" in game threads. But Cap (you're thinking to yourself), the mojo is dead. Who cares about the unwritten rules? I do. And I'm old and cranky and very superstitious when it comes to sports (in my family, we have rules about when you can and cannot record a game). So, to prevent any egregious errors from happening during the playoffs, and the resultant depression that would result from an untimely playoff exit, I have decided that the "unwritten" rules will now be written. No longer will anyone be able to plead ignorance or beg forgiveness. All punishment will be decided by jrw and myself (and possibly Tim C.), although I could be bought off with some really good alfajores.
Note: Since these rules will now be written, we can no longer refer to them as "unwritten" rules. Therefore, these will now be referred to strictly as "The Rules", or as "Don't break these or you will make Cap crankier than Pop when someone misses a defensive rotation".
- Never, ever call a game before it's over. I mean NEVER. I don't care if we're up by 50 over a 6th grade girls basketball team with 1 minute left to go, you're just asking for trouble. This will bring down a banhammer immediately.
- Don't predict scores or margins of victory while the game is being played. Predictions (like spursfan87's patented phrase) are perfectly fine for the Preview thread, and you can even discuss how you think the 2nd half might go during halftime, but once play starts, absolutely no more predictions are allowed.
- Don't refer to RQCs (Random Quarter Collapse) while said quarter is still being contested, as these references tend to come true. You may, however, discuss any form of RQCs (including the dreaded TQC) in excruciating detail after that time period has elapsed.
- Absolutely NO washing machine pics are allowed. (Sorry I forgot about this the first time.)
Rule #1 is the dealbreaker. If you break this one, please be advised that the oldtimers will devise ways to make sure you pay for any additional expenditures (of the alcoholic, medicinal or chocolate variety) that will be required as a result of your transgression. And we're kinda evil. ;-)
Okay, now go have fun in the game threads!