The San Antonio Spurs announced today that they have signed a bear. Per team policy, terms of the deal were not formally disclosed.
The 7'-6", 484 pound grizzly bear has no record of playing organized basketball.
"We definitely think he's got the size and strength to play in this league" said R.C. Buford. In a rare display of candor the Spurs GM went on to add "Plus, since he's not human, he's not part of the players union; we're paying him with week old salmon fillets from HEB... though the speedballs necessary to keep him awake during hibernation season are pretty pricey."
Mike Budenholzer seemed most excited about the bear's addition. "Look at that stance! You can tell by the look in his eye that he's seeing both man and ball. And his fur is so shiny!"
The players, led by Bruce Bowen, are a little skeptical. "Did you see the claws on that motherfucker? And don't bears, like, maul bitches?"
When asked about playing time for the bear Pop refused to make a commitment but alluded to a possible opportunity. "I saw the bear feeding on the decaying carcass of Robert Horry. I have to admit, I like seeing that in a young player; a guy, or in this case a bear, so hungry for playing time that he'll literally kill to get it." There have been conflicting reports that Horry may have already been dead. For many, many weeks.
The bear could not be reached for comment.