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Pop is Screwing With Us Again

(This is all you really need to know about the game: Duncan had 8 turnovers and was in foul trouble (including 3 offensive) all night, and the Jazz shooting percentage by quarter: 33 | 53 | 58 | 70.)

For 2 minutes and 26 seconds of the fourth quarter Coach Popovich played Jacque Vaughn and Tony Parker at the same time. The Spurs were already down 11 at this point, with under 9 minutes to play, so I'm thinking Pop was going for the motivation that only a mega-blowout can give you. Also, this enabled Pop to give Bowen a nice little slap in the face, as he left him on the bench while Vaughn "guarded" Deron Williams.

One of these things (Jacque Vaughn) is not like the others (real basketball players). (Jerry Lara / Express News)

In case you missed it, Jacque's "guarding" consisted of falling over as Deron crossed him over and then, because Vaughn is a horrible basketball player scrappy, flailing your arms and fouling Williams as you're lying on the ground. If only the refs would have called the foul, just to guilt Jacque into faking an injury or something. Or if only Deron had snapped that talentless pesky forearm with his knee.

"Hey now," says the PtR reader, "I know Jacque is bad, but hoping for an injury to a Spurs player is bad joo joo."

Jacque Vaughn was -24 in 18 minutes, so I say fuck your joo joo.

In case I have yet to amply illustrate how bad Jacque has been these playoffs, I offer one further tidbit. He's only been slightly worse than Mehmet Okur. Seriously, what's wrong with the man? He was only +3 tonight in 21 minutes, which is really hard to do when your team wins by 26. And did you know he's Turkish? Because he is. He's Turkish. From Turkey. Turkey Turkey Turkey Turkish. Soccer Eagles Spanish New York Times San Diego Katie Sex Strippers I'm Fat Kevin Martin.

Speaking of Okur, Mark Jackson is awful. He just would not shut the fuck up about Okur's wonderful defense against Duncan. It's one thing to constantly be caught with Deron Williams' balls in your mouth, but Mehmet Okur? HE'S BEEN HORRIBLE. SHUT UP. And stop ending every fourth sentence with "this league." WE KNOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS LEAGUE. It's as if the man is dieing to have someone create a Mark Jackson drinking game.

So the Spurs got blown out in game 3 but I'm hardly worried. In fact, I feel confident they'll win game 4. Of course this is a very similar feeling to the one I had after game three of the 2005 Spurs / Sonics series. So am I now worried? Nope. Not at all. Why? Because I just turned 30 and I've played Guitar Hero II all by myself for 8 hours the past two days. I have found the answers my friends.