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A Shoddy Recap of a Sloppy Game 2

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Game 2 Utah @ San Antonio: Spurs 105, Jazz 96 (2-0)

A great Tuesday night? Boy Howdy! First Simmons' beloved Celts fell to 5th in the lottery (who didn't see that coming?) and then our Spurs put on clinic against the Mormons. It should be illegal to have this much fun watching basketball - at least without any hard core narcotics involved.

The game is a bit of a blur now and I can't revisit it - thanks a lot, Mom's crappy Tivo - but there were just oodles and oodles of clever passes and wide open three pointers. It's like we've become the NBA stereotype now. All we scored were lay-ups and bombs, like a team full of Ginobilis. It's not a bad way to live, especially when you shoot 56%.

Still, I couldn't help but shake the feeling that there was something a little off about the game. It had a certain suspiciousness about it, like that scene in The Matrix where Neo watches a black cat cross in front of him, and then another; a perfect replica of the first, a few seconds later. I mean, was it just me, or were the guys trying a little too hard to be entertaining out there?

I mean, you can certainly understand why they would feel the pressure to be showmen, right? First we knocked out the league's premiere circus team, the ones everyone across the country wanted to win, the Phoenix Suns. Our doppelgangers, the Jazz, similarly dispatched the other Benny Hill squad, the Warriors. Plus we had the pressure of following the draft lottery, so it was on us to give the viewers a reason to not change the channel. Finally, I think the non-sell out of Game 1 sent a subtle message to the guys that simply winning won't do anymore, especially against lesser foes. We demand satisfaction!

As a consequence, we threw up 23 turnovers to go with our 28 assists. Fun for sure, but sloppy as all hell, like any date where I consume over two drinks. As with the first game, we built a huge lead in the 2nd quarter and then rode the roller coaster between seven and 22 points the rest of the way. Deron Williams brought the Jazz back to respectability in Game 1 and Carlos Boozer turned the trick in Game 2, with a flurry of 15 footers and some impressive work down low. Switching Timmy on him didn't slow him down in the least. The good news is that while their version of Batman & Robin combined for 59, the rest of the gang - Officer Gordon, (AK-47) Alfred the Butler, (Okur) Lucius Fox, (Fisher)...and...um....Batgirl? (Gordan Giricek) managed a meager 37. We'll take that every time.

Anyway, I don't have anything else for you in the way of "analysis," so I thought I'd do something different and put up a bunch of pictures.

Gonzo got us off to a good start in the 1st, with postseason dunk # 2. Meanwhile Paul Millsap was weighing the pros and cons of fouling him in the face. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
Tim wasn't fucking around early (he'd let up defensively as the game went on like everybody else). (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
Tony found out the hard way just how powerful Boozer's BO could be... (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
Cower! Cower before the mighty Oberto! (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
Give Francisco this much, even his fouls look athletic. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)
It's still not too late to get out Tony. Run! Seriously, you could do a lot better dude. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
"I ate his nipple with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
Makin' AK-47 look like a flaccid water-weenie. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)
The most athletic Turkish man... OF ALL TIME. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)
The head-grabbing pecking order on the Spurs has never ceased to fascinate me. Tim grab's Manu's, Manu grab's Tony's. Who does Tony get to grab? Does it go by size or star status? If it's the former, then pretty much nobody, but if it's the latter, then everyone else. Judging by the look on Tony's face, he's not too fond of the ritual. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

So much for humility. Pop seems thrilled to play the wrestling villain. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Anyway, not to go all gloomy Gus on you or anything, but I think we've got about a 25% chance of winning Game 3. The Jazz are undefeated at home and even in a five game series, the first home game is usually the one the underdog manages to get up for. Methinks this'll be our one typical bitch game of the series before we man up for Game 4. If I'm wrong then it means we sweep, but I ask you, honestly, when am I ever wrong?

3 Stars (with apologies to Fab)

3. Tony Parker - 17 points and a playoff best $1.40. Effortlessly found our shooters in the corners all night and really played a hell of a game. If seven turnovers seems ghastly, well it is, but hey, 2 to 1 A/TO, so whatev.
2. Carlos Boozer - He's just filthy, that's all there is to it. We've pretty much conceded that we can't stop him if the jumper's falling.
1. Tim Duncan - Fortunately we have a beast of our own, and ours can play defense. I don't think Oberto would be going off against Timmy.