Hey, look who's writing a game recap! Me! This guy right here!
During the early moments of the third quarter I was nearly overcome with boredom. Being a man who's spent thousands of dollars on therapy I immediately asked myself, in my best therapist impression tone (which is dripping with overdone earnestness), "why is this boring you." "Well," I told myself, "this may be the worst tandem of point guards ever to see the court in one game."
William Avery Daniel Ewing and Jacque Vaughn starting with Jason Hart and Beno Udrih backing them up. The Spurs combo played decently enough (more on that later), but let's be honest, will any of those guys every start a 100 games in their career? Yes. Vaughn already has. Shit. Who the hell was dumb enough to start Jacque Vaughn for that many games?
Let's see. He started 48 games for the 02-03 Magic who went 42-40, but he only averaged 21 MPG with 5.9 PPG and 2.9 APG. 2.9 APG? What the shit? He also started 34 games for the 04-05 Nets. 19.9 MPG with 5.3 PPG and 1.9 APG. Jesus H.! Are we sure Jacque Vaughn is even a point guard? For his career he's averaged less than 7.5 assists per 48 minutes. That sucks the balls.
But hey, he's scrappy. You know who else was scrappy? Matthew and John. And yes I'm referring the Matthew and John that wrote the Gospel. So don't go fucking knocking scrappy you number crunching heathens! What about Mark and Luke you ask? Why, incredible locker room presences of course. Great tippers, too.
Staying on the Christian tip, I think the Holy Spirit of Straight-Up Balling has taken temporary residence inside one Beno Udrih. I guess those missionaries were working overtime in whatever Slovenia was called in the eighties. I'm sure Pop's rubbing one out to the idea that putting The Beno on the bench has inspired him to make the most of his current opportunity. While I acknowledge my predilection to dissent, I prefer the notion that Beno can play with confidence when he knows that Pop has no choice but to play him significant minutes.
Let's engorge ourselves with some numbers, shall we?
The Spurs top five player pairs through the All Star break and their performance against the Clippers:
Horry and Vaughn -- +0 in 1 minute or less
Bonner and Ginobili -- 0 minutes
Ginobili and Vaughn -- +15 in about 12 minutes (OMG THEY'RE MAGIC TOGETHER LIKE MCDREAMY AND MEREDITH!1!!!11!)
Horry and Oberto -- +0 in 1 minute or less
Duncan and Horry -- -4 in about 10 minutes
The Spurs put together a 16-0 run in the third quarter (which snapped me right the hell out of my boredom); 14 of those points were produced by one lineup: Duncan, Oberto, Bowen, Ginobili and Vaughn. The defense was off the charts. The Spurs were everywhere at once. I'm talking super hero type shit. Dunleavy had to sub Ewing out because Vaughn's tenacity made him cry. Brand was so despondent that he forgot he went to Duke and accidentally let a "gosh-damn" slip. And Shaun Livingston deviated his septum just watching from home.
Now, just for fun, let's beat on Finley some more.
Ginobili was +16 for the game. Finley was -6. Finley w/ Ginobili? -4.