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Sweatless in Seattle

Game 69 @ Seattle: Spurs 120, Supersonics 79

I'm gonna keep this light and fluffy since I know Matthew "Party Monster" Powell is going to post a photographic extravaganza about the game soon. Really, there isn't a whole lot to analyze when you win by 41. We were very good, they were very bad. We had 8 guys hit a freakin' three like we're some midget mid-major team and 7 guys in double digits. There aren't many givens in life but when all 12 Spurs score, seven get to double figures and even Vaughn is swishing threes, you can be sure the good guys got the dub. Literally everyone played well, to varying degrees. Our scrubs outscored their scrubs by 25 in the 4th. Beno was +18 in the last 6:43. I don't think we've seen that before. Heck, even Horry took a hellacious charge before leaving with some abdominal injury.

Wait a second? Does that mean I won't get to see my man Robert Van Pelt play tonight? NO!!!! GODDAMIT WHY GOD WHY DO YOU FORSAKE ME??? Somehow, someway, I will have to try and enjoy the game anyway. (sigh).

Anyway here's some random musings...

#1 Luke Ridnour, IMO the best Sonic last night, looks a lot like the lovechild of Dale Earnhardt Jr. and English actor Simon Woods, the guy who played Octavian Caesar in HBO's superb Rome. That show just had their final episode last night. I'm kind of bummed about it actually.

I have too much free time on my hands

#2 The biggest cheers of the night from the ironically under-caffeinated Sonics crowd came when homicidal maniac Danny Fortson took the floor. Apparently Al Gore isn't the only celebrity who's let himself go. If you ever thought to yourself, "I wonder what Jabba the Hutt would look like with long braids" well now you know.

Still, Fortson does have a knack for making an impact on the game, and I'm not talking about the poor KeyArena floorboards. The second Boner Hill let Fortson waddle onto the court Pop took Manu out and Tim shortly thereafter. Best coaching move of the day.

Use the force, Luke, Jabba looks hungry.

#3 Pop was dickin' around with Tony's rotation. For some reason Pop pulled Tony for the last three mins of the first half and again just four minutes into the 3rd. I don't know why. I thought Parker was playing very well and the game wasn't exactly one sided just yet. Maybe he just wanted to rest him as much as possible for the Warriors, or maybe he had a cramp. Inquiring minds want to know.

#4 The Sonics' Earl Watson was a -39 in just under 30 minutes last night. If anyone has put up a worse figure against the Spurs , I'd love to know about it. The Sixers' Steven Hunter put up a -49 in 37 minutes vs. the Rox last week when they got drilled by 50.

#5 Manu Ginobili: 3 Point Weenie. 11 FGA, 9 threes? Who are you, Lee Humphrey? Yeah, he had the one lay-up, and obviously that dribble through Lewis' legs was the highlight of the game, but I am growing concerned with Gino's shot selection. We've already got a whiteboy to shoot nothing but threes. His name is Brent Barry. You're supposed to make wild drives to the hoop and get And-1's and stuff. Maybe he'll venture into the paint against the soft as puddin' W's tonight.

Brother from another mother?

#6 Rayneesha Allen ponders his future. Mr. Superduperstar officially declared himself done for the year with bone spurs of the labia and cervix. That's gotta hurt. On the plus side though, it gives him plenty of time to think. Here's my Conanesque "In the Year 2000" scenario for Ray-Ray...

Tired of always being a loser he decides to go the Juwanna Mann route and he joins the Seattle Storm of the WNBA for the '07-08 season. Allen is a big WNBA fan and even goes to games with his daughter. I've seen him say so in commercials and everything. The Storm went 18-16 this year and snuck into the last playoff spot so Allen surely figures that he'll be able to put them over the top. His only disguise is a cheap wig - no fake boobs, no dressing in drag, nothing. Still, nobody asks any questions.

Rayneesha Allen goes on to average 58.4 ppg next season on 66.2% shooting. Still, he gets benched late in several games because the coach wants "more defensive intensity and toughness." Sadly, despite his/her jaw-dropping numbers, the Storm finish 14-20 and miss the postseason.

The future Wilt Chamberlain of the WNBA, lookin' sharp.

#7 The Fun-loving Spurs. Something happened late in the game on the bench that crystallizes perfectly why I love being a Spurs fan and will forever miss this core of guys when they retire. I guarantee you even Matthew missed this because he was at the game and couldn't see it on TV. Late in the game, on the bench, Manu gave Tim, I SHIT YOU NOT a Wet Willie. He licked his finger and stuck it in Duncan's ear. Gross? Absolutely. But funny as shit.

The NBA is all about being macho and tough and gangsta' and here's our second banana doing something a 2nd grader might do to our superduperstar. Let me make this perfectly clear: NO OTHER TEAM ACTS LIKE THIS. Can you picture Lamar Odom giving the Colorado Casanova a wet willie? I don't think so. Does D-Wade pour water on Shaq's seat on the bench right before he sits down (Gino again got poor Timmy vs. the Pacers)? I strongly doubt it. Does Josh Howard fart in Dirk Nowitzki's face? Eh, maybe. But dude's German and they're into some sick shit. Like David Hasselhoff.

Not to go Ric Bucher on you or anything, but I just find it hilarious that the media perception of us is so completely 180 degrees backward. Every time you watch a Spurs game you see something new, if you pay attention. And a lot of the guys are really good with quotes and jokes after the games.

Okay, one last thing, if you'll indulge me. I found this clip on youtube last night. It's the highlights of the Turkey-Greece game I mentioned the last post. There were a couple similarities between this game and Spurs-Sonics, believe it or not. First, the Spurs aren't the only team that can score from distance. My homies drilled two goals from far away. And there was a between the legs move in the soccer game even sweeter than Manu's.

Obviously you won't understand the Turkish announcer, but I think his enthusiasm is universal. The thing about the game that amazed me is how calm and nonchalant the Turkish players were to the Greek crowd. Fans were throwing drinks, piss balloons, even FLARES and the players didn't react or care. I'm telling you Spurs-Mavs has nothing on international soccer.

I think the Greek team needs a new goalie. Dude's grayer than Ted Danson.

Now, your 3 Stars...

3. Jacque Vaughn - Great bounce back game from him. Hit six of seven shots, even a three, and had four dimes as well in 25 minutes.

2. Manu Ginobili - Good night defensively with the three steals, and at least he hit some shots again, but I'm looking for more penetration. Then again, so is my girlfriend. Ba dump bump.

1. Tony Parker - 18 and 7 in 25 mins. Six of nine shooting and he canned a three as well. I hear he released his rap album today. Yay!

Record: 49-20 Streak: W-3
Up Next: @ Golden State Warriors
The W's are one of the best home teams in the Association and they're coming off a heartbreaker last night in LA. I'm really happy we had such a runaway last night and the guys were able to rest a bit. This one's going to be really tough. When the Warriors are hitting their threes, they're almost impossible to beat at home. However, they can be had on the boards. I wonder if Pop will let Nellie sucker him into tinyball.