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Mike Golic Does Not Understand Fourier Transforms

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Mike Golic used to play pro football. Mike Golic is gregarious. Mike Golic can form coherent thoughts and even occasionally stumbles into grammatically correct sentences. Mike Golic does not come on to fellow ESPN staffers in Boston Markets. These traits, combined, are enough to explain his employment with ESPN.

Mike Golic's Super Bowl prediction:

Colts: 31
Bears: 23
MVP: Adam Vinateri (sic)

How sad. Allow me to point out the obvious. He's saying the Colts will score 31 points. The vast majority of the time, that's 4 TDs and a FG. I guess it's possible a kicker could win the MVP kicking only one FG, assuming it won the game. Of course with the Colts winning by 8 points that's not possible. Maybe Mike's thinking 9 FGs and a couple safetys, or 2 TDs, 2 inexplicable 2 point conversions and 5 FGs.

I guess having sensible predictions is too much to ask, especially when they can't even spell Vinatieri's name right.

My prediction for Super Bowl XXVWHATEVERIII:

Colts: The Fibonacci Sequence
Bears: 4 * Integral((1 - x^2)^(1/2)dx) evaluated from 0 to 1

MVP: The Dickcissel

The Dickcissel Will Control The Game