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Complicated New Rating System Exclusive to Pounding the Rock!

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This is something I have been working on the whole season. I was planning on unveiling it at the end of the year, but this team is in dire straits. I can no longer withhold this information from the masses.

I have poured over charts, graphs and slow-mowed hours of video. I have charted every possession, tracked ever footfall and bayknowed every oodree. I have performed linear regressions, Fourier transforms and even inverted my testicular matrix.

Again, this data is exclusive to PtR.com and cannot be found anywhere else! Here is what I've discovered:

Michael Finley = scrub [Update: There's a new poll up.]
Robert Horry = scrub
Fabricio Oberto = scrub
Bruce Bowen = scrub
Beno Udrih = scrub
Jacque Vaughn = scrub
Eric Williams = scrub

Manu Ginobili = not a scrub
Tony Parker = not a scrub
Tim Duncan = not a scrub
Brent Barry = not a scrub
Francisco Elson = not a scrub
Matt Bonner = not a scrub

Jackie Butler = unknown
James White = unknown

Pop should never play more than two scrubs at once. Three or more scrubs on the floor at the same time shall now be referred to as "scrub ball." Our problem isn't small ball, it's "scrub ball."

A team is never exactly the sum of its parts, but that sum is not irrelevant. Playing too many scrubs will result in a scrubtastic team; no matter how committed they are to team defense or how kindly they take to Pop's bitchfests or how much "veteran presence" they add to the locker room.

A scrub is a scrub, and the Spurs have too many.