clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

A Sort of Game Recap

It's 12:17 in the morning, and I have a another 15 hour day ahead of me tomorrow. But stampler's CHI recap and a couple comments made me laugh out loud, and I wanted to post them here. And if I am going to go to all that trouble, I might as well say a couple things about the game that just ended.

-Me before the game:

Here's a pointless prediction: Tony Parker scores more points in the first quarter then Smush Parker scores in the entire game.

Tony in the first quarter: 9 points. Smush Parker for the game: 7 points. Me after the game:

Goddam Matty you have mad basketball prognosticative skills. You called that shit, and you were the only person that picked GS to cover against LAC. Because you knew the players they were missing had negative +/- for the most part.

Furthermore, you knew the Clips would have a 13 point lead to start the fourth and would lose the spread on a last second, total meaningless dunk from NBDLer Azubuike, but are you going to let that stop you from rubbing booth52's face in it? Oh hell no, because that fool should have known the hell better.

-Let's see. The Big 3 combine to score 67 points on only 43 FGA. The Spurs commit only 2 more TOs than their opponent and allow only 7 offensive rebounds. And they lose, at home, to a Laker team without Odom and Kwame Brown. I think the prerecorded, typical Spurs fan response is: "it's only January and the Spurs don't start playing until March." Yeah, except in March they'll be even older than they are now.

-I'll just come out and say it. The Spurs aren't making it out of the West with this team. They are simply too fucking old and slow, and Pop needs to realize this. Bryant abused Bowen the whole fucking game, except for a 2 minute stretch in the fourth, but it's not like Pop has a lot of options. Let's look at the guys on the Spurs roster than can play the 2/3, and how they could do against Kobe:

Parker: too short.
Udrih: no fucking chance.
Jacque: no chance in fuck.
Ginobili: probably best option, but can only play 32 MPG when he's not guarding the other team's best player.
Bowen: at this point we should consider the possibility he's lost two steps instead of just one.
Finley: no fucking chance in fuck.
Williams: still too fat.

Only two players on the whole pathetic roster who you can even think about putting on Bryant. Sad. While DAL has Buckner, Howard, Ager, Stackhouse and Harris (and maybe even George and Anthony Johnson). The Spurs have a bunch of guys you have to hide on the defensive end.

So what should Pop do? Make a trade. Bring up Flight. Stop pretending it's some bullshit "lack of defensive focus / intensity" that explains the drop in defensive performance. News flash: we can't stay in front of anyone because we're old and slow. OLD. SLOW. OLD AND SLOW.

-I don't blame Parker for not passing the ball on the 2 on 1 at the end of the fourth. Smush never stopped the ball; he played between the two players and made a very risky swipe at the ball and happened to make the play.

Those are my near-exhausted thoughs on the game. Here are those hilarious comments I mentioned. First, from rick2g:

How many times has that guy wearing Bowen's jersey tried to drive in the lane and ended up double pumping a two foot airball?

Last, from davidpj24:

That's funny you mentioned the significance of the CHI game being a day game. I didn't realize it was a day game until they had already started playing, and my first thought was, "we're totally gonna lose". Although, don't old people generally get up earlier than young people? Or maybe the Spurs are like the kind of old people that get freaked out if their pill-taking/Matlock-watching/blue plate special-eating daily schedule is thrown off.

Oh, and why the fuck not, let's quote stampler's post from earlier today:

Also, the other night I was driving home at 2 am, and I passed this Jiffy Lube and the whole building was dark and closed, but for some reason, the "Lube" part of the sign was still lit, in bright red neon. Was this a secret code to all would-be lube needers out there? Is it a secret underground all-male nightclub that one can get into with a secret knock on the door? Dammit, if only I was home one more week I could get to the bottom of this. Pun intended.