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Never A Doubt

Instead of a traditional recap I decided to keep a running diary. Mainly because I thought it would be easier on my fried brain (carbocation rearrangement, hydroboration oxidation of alkenes... ugh).

-Bowen slides under Francis' foot on a jumper and turns another ankle. It happens so much you have to wonder if it's intentional.

-Bonner drains a wide open three (as I scream "money!") and his defender Curry stands about eight feet away from him. Knicks announcer Walt Frazier comments "that's his shot; the Knicks have to get out on him." C'mon Walt, you don't really expect Eddy Curry to read scouting reports do you? Maybe if Isiah wrapped a cheeseburger inside the scouting report...

-Bonner with the runner! It's so pretty. So, so, pretty.

-I have a good friend who refers to certain guys as "cheesedicks." I am not sure exactly what that entails, but I presume having hair like David Lee's is a good start at cheesedickery.

-Nate Robinson is in. Pop should put in Brent Barry, just so we could all say that we saw the two least-deserving dunk contest winners on the same court.

-Manu with a cross-court bounce pass to Doghouse for the layup. Hmm. Doghouse. That's a decent nickname for Beno. How do you say doghouse in Slovenian? Is Slovenian even a language? Where exactly is Slovenia, anyway? Besides Europe. I know that. Is it one of those former Soviet Republics? I should know this.

-Cheesedick travels. But when he travels, he does so in style, with his pre-frayed Abercrombie hat and Banana Republic chinos.

-I'm out of diet soda. Fuck.

-Nate Robinson just drove by Doghouse with alacrity. Alacrity is one of those words where the definition is much more fun to say. Let's try it: Nate Robinson just drove by Doghouse with cheerful promptness. See? I told you.

-Renaldo siting! He commits a cheap, dumb foul; obviously fitting in quite nicely with his teammates. Spurs up by 9 after one.

-Holy paleness! The Spurs are using an all whitish lineup. Doghouse, The Sickness, The Cousy (Official nickname for post 2005 All Star break Brent Barry), Bonner and Oberto. That's four three-point shooters.

-Robinson gets his own rebound because Barry doesn't block out the shooter. 50-50 chance Pop calls a timeout just to ream him a new orifice... nope. It's a kindler, gentler head coach.

-Woah. Gino and Parker are having a little squabble on the court. Somebody got free backdoor and no one wants to take the blame. Thousands of dollars of therapy have taught me that sometimes it's nobody's fault. Or they could just blame me. That's what I do. Works fabulously.

-Balkman doesn't pass the look test. He doesn't even look like a good ball player.

-Oops. Clyde Frazier. Not Walt. I never said I was a student of the game.

-Woah. An alley-oop from the Spurs. Parker to Duncan. For some reason my unplanned response sounded like Meg Ryan faking an orgasm in When Harry Met Sally.

-Woah^2. Parker behind the back to Barry for three, and the boos are raining down in Madison Square Garden.

-MAN, PUT DOWN MY PAPAYA!! I'm sorry, that's a funny commercial. Wait, why am I watching commercials? I gots a DVR, yo!

-Curry did not appreciate Oberto's hard, totally clean foul.

-Parker drains a jumper as the announcers complain that Marbury has to fight over the top of the screen. Sigh.

-Curry with the most obvious offensive foul in the history of offensive fouls. Saw that one coming a mile away. Curry will get a technical before the night is over.

-Nice entry pass from Elson to Duncan for an easy basket.

-Marbury goes over the screen, nobody steps up and Parker with the easy runner in the lane. More boos. I am loving this a little too much.

-4 minutes to go in the half and the Spurs have 0 turnovers.

-Interesting. Commentators just said that during the summer Pop was called to testify in Larry Brown's arbitration case with the Knicks. Why? I understand they're friends, but what relevant information could he have had? Character witness?

-Greg Popovich, the only coach in the NBA who would ever call a timeout with a 20 point lead.

-Cheesedick just went right by Timmeh for a dunk. Sad.

-And another Spurs timeout after Collins dusts Barry for his first NBA bucket.

-A Malik Rose sighting. I don't miss him. Sorry.

-Brent Barry gets ripped and then fouls Collins for the and one. The Cousy is close to becoming The Cooler once again.

-Tim Duncan gets his first technical foul of the season due to griping at the refs. Spurs up by 13 at the half.

-Isiah opens the second half with the same feisty group that closed out the first. How Larry Brown of him.

-Oh son of a bitch. Manu's holding his shin/calf area. I think he got kneed by Mardy Collins, who's now on my shit list pending further investigation.

-Parker hits his first three of the season, surely leading to a string of expletives from my colleague aaronstampler.

-Nate Robinson's kickz are all white. Hideous.

-Barry is in for Manu. I am now calling my people to get the word out about Collins. He'll be taken care of.

-Oberto's got some soft hands around the basket. And he's so gentle in bed. Or so I've heard.

-OK. So Manu's just sitting on the bench and doesn't look hurt. Maybe he just pissed off Pop and got the early hook. Hey Mardy, sorry `bout the brick through your window.

-Cheesedick has a wispy, incomplete goatee. Methinks that might be advanced cheesedickery.

-Manu's back in and Tony swishes an unguarded twenty footer.

-I totally aced my organic chemistry test.

-The Spurs are 10-17 from 3.

-Udrih just made a fool of Stephon Marbury. Yeah, it was off the ball, but there's no excuse when it's a guy named Beno.

-Ginobili, whilst flailing his arms to draw the foul, just elbowed Curry in his groinal regions. Uh oh.

-Spurs up by 15 after 3.

-Matt Bonner just got called for traveling on an up and under move. He looks really disappointed. Like it's his first CYO basketball game and he just realized he made a basket but at the wrong end of the court. Poor kid.

-Holy crap Eddy Curry is ridiculously out of shape. He was trying to post up Elson but couldn't get closer than the elbow. I wonder if Isiah is leaving him out there to prove a point or because he just doesn't know any better. More boos from the Knick faithful.

-Barry just nailed a 30-footer. Just for shits and giggles. Spurs 12-22 from 3.

-Duncan just got a delay of game warning for not having his shirt tucked in. This league is retarded sometimes.

-Marbury cans a three and the lead is down to 9. Which reminds me I need to cut my fingernails. In other words, I'm not worried.

-Oberto fouls out after the smallest guy on the court grabs an offensive rebound. The Knicks cut the lead to 5 and, frankly, I'm bored.

-3 point game. 18-2 run by the Knicks. Frazier has used discombobulated twice in the past 60 seconds. The fans actually think the Knicks may win this game. That's cute.

-Parker nails a jumper from the top of the key, pushing the lead to 3.

-Malik Rose has given Duncan all kinds of trouble, but Tim manages to get on the board after a nice dish from Tony. Lead back up to 6.

-Parker hits another three and the lead is back up to nine. Game over.

-Hey, Tony's got 10 assists tonight. I love how when he misses a free throw he smiles and has that "how did that happen" face. Look, I know you made 22 in a row during the preseason. You're still not a great free throw shooter.

-Spurs close out the game with a 12-2 run. I'm not going to make anything out of SA letting the Knicks climb back into the contest. It's the fourth game of a long season and they put the clamps on when absolutely necessary.

Brent Barry once again shoots well, going 5-7 from 3. Finley is once again starting the year slowly; he's 6-29 this year. Ouch. How long could this continue before Pop makes The Cousy the first man off the bench?

Record: 3-1 Streak: Won 2
Up next: vs. Phoenix on Wednesday