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There's Never Enough Time!

Way too busy to get for a fancy schmantzy introduction, or to give summaries of how the experts did, pitiful excuses for how I did, or any bells and/or whistles. We're going to get right to this week's picks and hopefully I'll catch up on everything else later. I had to take a road trip this weekend and it ruined my best laid plans for everything.

Houston at Tennessee (-3) Straight away this seems like a good spot for an upset. Veteran QB vs rookie QB, and the Texans were up to the challenge enough against Taylor and Drew that I feel confident in their ability to neutralize Travis Henry this week. Texans to win and cover.

Jacksonville at Philadelphia (-7.5) Every week I pick my Iggles to cover, and every week they make me look foolish. But how can I not take them here? Their best WR Donte Stallworth is back, their nickel corner Rod Hood is back, and the Jags are playing without their best DT and best linebacker. Oh, and they're playing their backup QB too, but honestly I don't know if that's a positive or a negative. Eagles to win and cover.

Atlanta at Cincinnati (-3.5) Can Michael Vick have consecutive good games? Not a chance. Can the Bengals' run defense shut down the Falcons' running game? Even more unlikely. If the ultra motivated ocho cinco ever scores one, it'll be here, and I'm guess that'll be the difference in the ball game. Bengals to win and cover.

Tampa Bay at NY Giants (-9) The G-Men are seemingly rolling on all cylinders as I feared they would be by this time of year, and the Bucs, despite recording consecutive victories are awfully fortunate to not be 0-6 with their low wattage offense. Tiki gets the better of Ronde and the Gints cruise by 17. Giants to win and cover

San Francisco at Chicago (-16) Two rusty teams coming off a bye playing in booger freezing weather and just trying to get out of there with their genitalia still external organs. I'll probably regret this, but I'm taking the spunky QB and the points. Bears to win, 49ers to cover.

Arizona at Green Bay (-4) The Cardinals have already checked out mentally. Denny knows he's fired, Edge wishes he was still in Indy, and Leinart's probably thinking about his bastard son. On the other hand the Pack are coming off a road win and smelling .500. Packers to win and cover.

Seattle at Kansas City (-4) Like the doctor told my mother, this one's ugly and it's gonna smell real bad too. The Hawks are relying on a 2nd string QB and RB while the Chefs have to turn to Brodie Croyle, their rookie 3rd QB. I suppose I'll take KC because of the Arrowhead factor, but I assure you, not a penny will be wagered on this contest from my end. Chiefs to win and cover.

Baltimore at New Orleans (-1.5) Confusing spread of the week. The Saints are 5-1 and they've registered impressive home victories over the Eagles and Falcons. The Ravens have dropped two straight, their QB's wobbly, and they've fired their offensive coordinator because their attack has been as putrid as ever. Something smells fishy here but like a sucker I'll just mosey on into the trap. Saints to win and cover.

St. Louis at San Diego (-9.5) A battle between my fat Indian friend's two favorite running backs. I would set the over/under on combined rushing yards between Jackson and LT at 226, the over/under on their combined touchdowns at 2.5, and the over/under on the number of uncomfortable homoerotic grunts/comments he makes about them during the course of the game at 16.5. Chargers to win, Rams to cover.

Pittsburgh at Oakland (+9) The Steelers' pass defense was nonexistent against the woeful Falcons' passing attack and this week they face Randy Moss. Meanwhile the Raiders are coming off the euphoria of last Sunday's triumph over the Cardinals. Will they have enough pride to make a game of it here? Ordinarily I'd say no, but I think that Big Ben's going to have another gun shy performance similar to how he played at Jacksonville. It's ridiculous he's playing in such a winnable game when Charlie Batch could knock off the Raiders just as comfortably. Steelers to win, Raiders to cover.

NY Jets at Cleveland (-1.5) Wait what? How are the Browns favored here? Never mind about the Saints/Ravens game. This is the nonsensical spread of the week. God damn I'm gonna have to put a couple of bucks on this game. C'mon Chad my boy, don't let me down. I'll take back all the cracks I've made about your arm over the years, I promise. Jets to win and cover.

Indianapolis at Denver (-3) You get three points for being the home team, the Broncos are the home team, and they're favored by three. Translation: Your guess is as good as theirs. I'll take my chances on the squad that makes a habit of scoring a bunch rather than the one who feels that 14 points is splurging. Or to put it another way, it'd be foolish to bet against Peyton Manning before January. Colts to win and cover.

Dallas at Carolina (-5) Let's see...we've got a rookie QB, with a shaky offensive line, making first career start on the road, and he's facing a ferocious pass rush. Oh and a pumped up Keyshawn Johnson to boot. In the words of Mr. Simmons..."Giddy up." Panthers to win and cover.

New England at Minnesota (+2) All you Vikings bandwagon jumpers can go ahead and take your chances here if you want. I'm going with the pretty boy QB and his rag tag group of "disrespected" drama queens over the novice coach and his gang of wannabes.