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Game 23 Preview: Sacramento Kings @ SA

Tonight's starting lineups:

SAC (10-13, 3-6 away)
PG Team Dime is Not a Gang
SG He Who Petrie Hopes to Trade for Luol Deng
SF He Who Petrie Should Try to Trade for Ron Artest
PF Shareef Abdur-Rahim
C Brad Miller

SA (18-4, 10-1 home)
PG The French Layup Machine
SG Michael Finley
SF Bruce Bowen
PF Tim Duncan
C Rasho Nesterovic

The first meeting between these two teams was a Spurs' special. You know, build a big lead on the road and then do your best to blow it. Fortunately SAC wasn't quite up to the task as gang leader Mike Bibby missed a 3 at the buzzer. This game also featured The Solid Slovenian outscoring Brad Miller 10-2; in less than half the minutes no less! That's a points per minute ratio of over 10 to 1 in favor of Rasho. See, I told you this guy was good.

So Bibby claims that his posse doesn't constitute a gang. As you can probably guess, I've been in my fair share of gangs. In fact, I still remember how to flash some signs for the now defunct Mu Alpha Theta gang of H.B. Zachry Middle School. We were hard core dawg; I fucked up a lot of bitches back then AND I could beat Super Mario Bros without warping in under 30 minutes. Man, I was the shit back in the day. Anyhoo.

Before viewing the evidence we must first establish a control group; a posse which is definitely not a gang. Take a look at this:

Now this is obviously a posse. The tall drink of water in the middle there is the leader, as designated by the sunglasses and talisman she holds in her right hand. The 5 lovelies to her sides are the posse members, as denoted by the wicker/felt hats. But are they a gang per se? Now, having seen my share of James Bond films I know that it is quite possible that the felt conceals spring loaded blades that turn the hats into Wicker-Frisbees-of-Doom. This possibility is supported by the woman on the right looking shifty. However, I can tell you unequivocally that this is no gang. How do I know? Well, it's the cardigans of course! They're the universal symbol of non-gangdom.

Now let's take a look at Team Dime ("appropriated" from YAYsports!):

Based on my experience I would say that Team Dime certainly looks like at least a "posse up to no good." You have the requisite multi-ethnic representation along with tattoos announcing, effectively, "who dey wit." AND you have multiple persons hiding their faces from the camera. Well, DUH, they're probably wanted for some crazy jewelry heist and you KNOW they hold their glocs all to the side and shit. Rat-a-tat-tat-dat-ass if you know what I'm saying! There's also the conspicuous lack of cardigans. If they were truly concerned about establishing their ungangliness one of them would be rocking at least an argyle V-neck sweater from Sears.

Tonight's line: SA -8.5
My pick: SA
The Spurs are 10-12 ATS this year. I am 8-13.