clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:


Well, it's 1:29 in the morning. I figure I have two options. I could go to bed and wake up around noon tomorrow. Or I could grab another soda, write in a state of near-conciousness for an hour, go to bed and still wake up around noon tomorrow.

The choice is obvious. Obviously.

And, of course, there's the HUGELY IMPORTANT BREAKING NBA NEWS. It's shocking, really. Unprecedented as far as I know. Hell, I am shocked The Drudge Report hasn't picked up the story.

No, it's not Shaq's turned ankle and annual month-long vacation. Nor is it Battier's head being split open by a Kelvin Cato elbow. It isn't Pau Gasol posterizing Dwight Howard or Rasho Nesterovic getting his first dunk of the season.

No, this is MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT. Part of me is a little apprehensive to be the one to break this story. This will anger a lot of very important people. People with power. Scary people. Pimps, even. And if my mother told me once she told me a hundred times: "Boy, don't you go screwing around with no pimps!"

But sometimes a man, or in this case a blogger, has to rise to the occasion. Put the news ahead of personal safety. PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW. Brace yourself; this changes everything:

Vladamir Radmanovic is possibly growing a rat-tail. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me; the ESPN camera would give only fleeting glimpses. But the more I watched the more I believed; the more I became enamored. Thus is the power of the rat-tail.

Is it proof you seek? Well then, harken! Lo, the proof thy shall have! Now I am no expert at identifying the early beginnings of a rat-tail; I don't claim to be. But to the naked eye of this untrained observer? What else could it be?

And who better than Vladimir Radmanovic? He has a history of horrid hairstyles. And he turned down a 42 million dollar contract from the Sonics, so there's no doubt he's crazy.

Imagine if Vladmir's rat-tail realized its full potential! What a story! Talk about something the team could rally around; rat-tails for EVERYBODY.

OK. I finished my soda. I'm going to bed now.