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Bruce Bowen Says "No Slinging in Schools!"

I am the only Spurs fan worn the fuck out?  Thank God that's over.  I'm not sure my heart would have made it through a game seven.

What an engaging game from start to finish.  The ridiculously tight first half, with the margin never eclipsing four points.  Then the immense Spurs run spanning the end of the third and beginning of the fourth quarters.  Capped off with one last furious comeback by Nash and company.  48 minutes of compelling end to end action.

Let's break this down player by player.

Amare Stoudemire

He's more beast than man.  His energy level was absolutely off the charts, and his 38 points on 50% shooting is doubly impressive when you consider he was facing (if not directly) Tim Duncan all night.  He missed 14 shots, and probably half of those were blocked by The Cornerstone.  After the game I asked myself how many points he would have scored against an average defense.  Then I totally blew my mind when I wondered how many points Stoudemire would have scored against himself.  It's no secret Amare ain't fond of defense, and were it biologically possible I would bet the two Amares would have gone for 150 points between them tonight.


Photographic evidence proving Elson did something worthwhile tonight.  (AP Photo / Matt Slocum)

Leandro Barbosa

Look, I understand why Manu didn't win the 6th Man Award, but still, Leandro should be forced to sell the trophy for charity or something.  The man shot 27-76 for the series, including 2-17 from behind the arc.

Kurt Thomas

God, you sucked tonight.

Steve Nash

This poor man is going to have nightmare's of Bruce Bowen for weeks.  The refs definitely let Bruce (and everybody) play some stingy defense tonight.  At one point I expected Bowen to slap Nash square in the face, just to see if he could get away with it.  Did his best to turn it on in the fourth but it was too late.  As per usual, contributed absolutely nothing on the defensive end.  Which leads right to:

Tim Duncan

Tonight's game is a perfect example of why all this talk about Steve Nash "controlling a game" is a giant fucking joke.  Nash may be the best offensive player on the planet, and he's certainly white, but he doesn't do jack diddily shit on defense.  His defensive contributions this series included losing Bruce Bowen repeatedly and taking the occasional charge.  That's it.

While Tim Duncan, who's know offensive slouch himself, defends the pick and roll against Nash, occasionally guards Marion away from the basket, grabs 13 rebounds, blocks 9 shots and anchors one of the top two defenses in the NBA every fucking year.


No.  Nyet.  Nein.  Nuh uh.  (AP Photo / Matt Slocum)

The fact Duncan and Nash have the same number of regular season MVP's is a goddam crime against humanity.  Yes, Steve Nash is incredibly valuable to the Suns.  And that's largely due to the fact the Suns are built around Steve Nash (Dallas doesn't seem to miss him much).  Their style and their personnel were chosen based on how well they mesh with Nash.  All this bullshit about him "making players better..." he plays with guys who are best suited for an uptempo style!  How good would Barbosa be in a half court game?  Well, if you watched the half court portions of the last six games you would know he blows.  It's not all Nash's magic.  (Last time I checked Dirk is still a pretty good player.)

You don't have to try and match players with Duncan.  Every NBA player meshes well with Duncan.  He's the best help defender in the game, a great rebounder and shot blocker and a willing passer who commands a double team.  He can be the best player in a grind it out, defensive struggle and he can be the best player in a 116-110 shootout where both teams shoot almost 50%.  You can't say that about Nash.  But he is white.  You have to give that to him.

Manu Ginobili

What a day for our friend stampeezie.  He graduates from college, his favorite team advances and his favorite player plays like the Manu of old.  I'll let him handle the Manu adulation.


See, look stampler, Tony's rooting for Manu!  (Getty Images / Ronald Martinez)

Tony Parker

The Wee Frenchmen was absolutely brilliant in the first half and ended up with 30 points, 6 assists and only 1 turnover.  Plus he hugged David Robinson after the game.  How could anyone criticize him after all that?  I know what you're thinking stampler.  Let it go, friend.  Let it go.

Bruce Bowen

So, was I the only person who noticed Bowen up to his old dirty tricks again in the first quarter?  Stoudemire was going up for a layup and Bowen clearly sticks his foot way out and nearly turns Amare's ankle.  Unbelievable.  The man has no shame.

At this point he's like this old man living in a neighborhood full of young kids.  He's always shouting at them to get off his yard (which he never mows), he leaves his trash buckets out for days and has a camper parked on the sidewalk.  The whole neighborhood dislikes him and thinks he's a bastard.  And now the old man Bruce no longer gives a shit, so he's starting to fetch the morning paper in the nude and blares porn movies with the windows open every afternoon.

Jacque Vaughn

Hit a couple shots, yeah, but also managed to fuck up Duncan's triple double (and post-season record tying 10th block) by drawing a blocking foul against Marion.

---

It was such a pleasure to see The Big Three play so well in such an important game.  And nice of the San Antonio crowd to show up and cheer their balls (and ovaries) off.

Ocho mas mis amigos.  Ocho mas.

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Phoenix is on an early Vacation
I dunno about over there in C-at-addle, but over here in da ALAMO city it like a big party, peo hoinking horns, yellings, a lot of drunks...everyone here is one big rush.

Amare is punk ass did not even shake hands after loss like the lil bitch he is..

Steve Nash has 2 rings and zero championships....

I serioulsy doubt NASH would even be anything had he played back in the day of the Magics, Oscar Robertsons, Nate Archibalds...he overrated and sucks just like his sorry ass Phoenix SUNS of a Bitches.

Yeah let the media say we won 2007 rings cos we did not play Dallas n cos we cheated cos so n so did not play in game 5..but wait a minute was not not NASH that was suppose to be the real MVP? Was it not RAJA Bell that boldy said WE LACKED FIREPOWER TO beat them? Was it not AMARE who cried about us being Dirty yet we have almost zero Flagarant fouls for the the past decade?

WHO playz da fool DiAntonni? U thas who? Physical play i thought u were a European coach and player am sure that was more physical than this series? Dumb fuck learn to play some defense with ur players maybe you can hang with us n Dallas.

N 4 da love of GOD THE SUNS DO NOT PLAY DEFENSE? NASH is not that good peo he plays on good teams that why his team are good cos they have talent not cos he make peo better. He suppose to make plays and make passes...u ignorrant morons.

2 MVP? what a joke. Just 4 da record NASH an Dirk the real MVP r the Final MVPS not the ones you have.

SPURS 4-LIFE! 2-SWEEEEEET!! COKE08

by COKE08 on May 19, 2007 4:07 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

UTAH MOrmons
SO how many games to send the Mormons home? I say 5 or six max.....should sweep them but as Matthew knows there is always one pussy ass game that we give away in every series that one game we have our heads in out asses plus Utah will win atleast one game in SA n one at Home in Mormon country so six games is fair....But no game 7's for sure.

GO CAVZ rather they play us than PIstons we alreasy played them bring us something diff..

SPURS 4-LIFE! 2-SWEEEEEET!! COKE08

by COKE08 on May 19, 2007 4:11 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Finally!
I am so glad this series is over and the media can give some other team it's unconditional love.  Seriously, why do people love the Suns so much?  They only play one end of the court, Stoudemire is one-dimensional, knuckle-dragging prima donna (if the basketball thing doesn't work out, I'm sure Geico will give him a spokesperson job), Marion is useless in any setting except the fast break and has a shooting form that makes me want to stab my eyes with a plastic fork, Barbosa folds under pressure, Raja Bell clearly waxes his eyebrows and cries at night because he will never be Bruce Bowen, and even their two-time MVP (for whom I do have a modicum of respect) plays a flopping, uncommitted style of defense that would've lasted about .002 seconds against the Showtime Lakers these clowns supposedly resemble.  And don't even get me started on Reverend D'Antoni.  What a twerp.  You want to know why your team will never win a championship, you hack?  It's because championship coaches don't whine and stomp their feet every time they don't get a call, and they care more about preaching defense than they do about making their weekly teeth-whitening appointment.  

There's so much more I could mention, from their girly purple uniforms to their blowhard owner, but that would detract from what the Spurs have accomplished in overcoming the collective will of an entire nation and media to move on to the next round.  I'm sure fifty years from now, when Tim is being mentioned in the same breath as Russell and Kareem, Suns fans will still be whining about their "stolen" championship.  Excuse me kids, but last time I checked, championship teams dont moan and groan about the breaks that don't go their way (I'm looking at you AJ), or about how dirty the other team is, or about the rampant injustice that threatens their self-righteous sense of entitlement. . .no, they just go out and win championships.  So nice knowing you, Suns fans, it was real, it was good, but in the end it just made me want to punch all of you in the face.

Btw, thanks for the bomb threat, that definitely merited a solid 11 on the classiness meter.  Douchebags.

by davidpj24 on May 19, 2007 8:51 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

congrats!
heya,

it was thru watching a spurs game early in the season that i (finally) learned how to appreciate basketball, and the spurs in particular.

actually, had no choice in the matter, i was keeping company with a BIG fan and i was going to learn.

unfortunately i don't watch tv at home so i didn't get to see the game last night BUT, i found out the score (holycrap!), i'm reading this and the suns' blog and gotta tell you, i don't remember being so happy about a game i didn't see. and impressed!

which brings me to one more point - the fan who taught me, focused on the efforts on the court more than on the uniforms.

so it kind of pisses me off that people think the spurs are boring.

you guys ROCK! (pun intended)

offense n defense n refs - oh my!

by nufan on May 19, 2007 9:22 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bruce Bowen Says
And on the sixth game, Tim said nine times, ">_< OMG GTFO n00b!" and the shot did, indeed, GTFO.
Go to Hell before seeing the moon. -Shagia Frost (Gundam X)

by Hideyori on May 19, 2007 10:07 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bruce Bowen Says
I'm with you on being worn the fuck out over this shit.  Bruce was trying hard at the end to hit a couple of daggers that rimmed out.  The Real MVP played like he did in 03.  Manu played like it was 05.  All is good for now.  Congrats on another excellent regular season Suns fans.  Now all of you collectively pour a gallon of gasoline on your heads and spark a match.  

by Tony Pelosi on May 19, 2007 10:58 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A gorilla....
^^^^Somehow, I think that most Suns fans would find a way to botch that. I mean, their mascot's a bloody gorilla....
Go to Hell before seeing the moon. -Shagia Frost (Gundam X)

by Hideyori on May 19, 2007 11:22 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bruce
Love the Bowen description. I'm the next-door middle-aged lady who plans her day around flashing him my hanger-knockers.

Today I just wanna dreamily watch Tim Duncan's 9 blocks over and over. GTFO ye verily amen.

Try not to remember at Christmas dinner when I just casually predicted to my brother-in-law, if not the Spurs, Jazz against Pistons. I don't even remotely remember why I said that.
 

by safan on May 19, 2007 12:56 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bruce
um, what's bruce's address again?

by NuBAfan on May 19, 2007 1:10 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

not worn out anymore...
I feel you Matt, but I am recharged, I am ready to take out the Jazz. This will not be an easy series, but if we can keep them from getting a split, that will be huge. Let's go Spurs!!!

by DennardC on May 19, 2007 5:52 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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