I'll probably talk about it in considerable and wasteful length later, when I can catch up on the soccer, but I was absolutely delighted by the turn of events that culminated in a championship for the Miami Heat.  Don't get me wrong, this was absolutely the worst possible match-up I could possibly imagine for an NBA Finals going into the season.  Both Dallas and Miami are by far my least favorite teams in their respective conferences.  I would have rather watched Lakers vs. Bobcats, honestly.  Well, as long as the Bobcats were fully healthy.  You know, to make it competitive.  Now that Jordan's involved, I'm sure Stern will rig the Greg Oden lottery for them anyway.  You know, since his league is rigged an' all.  
    But I am relieved to report that there is still a God.  I don't have to abandon my faith.  I believe in karma now more than ever.   This whole playoffs, the attitude of Mark Cuban and Avery Johnson seemed to be something like, "If you don't want us to act like sore losers, to complain about every call that goes against us, to make conspiracy accusations to the press, it's simple, all you gotta do is let us win every game."  
    And you know what?   Stern damn near gave in to them.  He tried it that their way.  The Mavs were up 2-0 and cruising against Miami.  But what does Mark Cuban do?  He goes on Letterman and proves that not only is he a sore loser, but that if he were to win THE BIG ONE, he'd have every intention of being a sore winner as well.  Before the series was even over he was planning parade routes and acting like it was in the bag.  And he took totally unprovoked shots at Steve Nash and Pat Riley on national TV.  Just a complete low life loser.  
    After that everything changed.  The Mavs got treated like just another basketball team, they stopped getting the calls, their players choked and their supposed leaders lost all their composure.  I don't want to hear any criticism tossed at Dirk.  He had 29 and 15 and didn't see the ball nearly enough in the second half, for some reason.  
    The real culprits here were Mark Cuban and AJ.  They broke the golden rule of coaching.  Barry Melrose talks about it all the time:  They gave their players an excuse to lose.  They both whined about the refs so much that the players were off the hook.  All their fire and intensity were gone.  They didn't hate their opponents enough to want to beat them, they were too busy hating the refs.  
The best part of how it ended?  Look at the box score.   Miami basically won on the backs of D-Wade, Udonis Haslem, and Alonzo Mourning.   `Toine (6-17, 0-6 from 3) was crap.   Jason Williams?   1 for 7, all from 3.  Crap.  The Diesel?  Nine whopping points.  He's basically stealing money at this point.  The over/under on his weight when he waddles back to training camp is 413.5 lbs.  The only guy I dislike who played well was Zo, and I'll let him slide because of the kidney thing.  I guess.
And for Dallas?  The Big Bug checked in with a lovely 5 for 16 performance, although, to his credit, he didn't call any bad time outs this time.  Brickhouse went 5 for 13.  Clearly clutch shooting like that was missed in Game 5.  Damn that dastardly Stu Jackson.  Damn him!   And finally the spunky little pugilist who likes to pretend he's an air-o-plane ended the season with a Starks-like 7 for 25 from the field.   Thanks to some late game FT gagging from Flash and some horrific pick and roll defense from "The Glove," Jason Terry got a wide open look at a game tying three.  
He clanked it.  One of nine threes he bricked tonight.
Perhaps his aim would've been truer if he pretended the basket was Michael Finley's scrotum.  
    The Mavericks have A LOT to learn about what it takes to be Champions, and basketball is the least of their worries.  Here's to teaching them a few more lessons in '06-07....

    And PS.  Bill Simmons is a fucking idiot.   But you knew that.  

    I haven't been able to update in a long time (computer problems) so most of these will be brief.  To your great disappointment, I'm sure.  Also, I may have not watched some of the games due to need of sleep and lack of interest.  

    Portugal 2, Iran 0
    I don't think I missed much here at all, if ESPN's commentary of it is the least bit accurate.  As always, Portugal look to be a side consisting of Figo and a host of talented but immature youngsters not quite ready for primetime.   A draw against the Mexicans will be enough for them to capture the group, but that might be easier said than done since manager Felipe Scolari already announced five starters won't play because of yellow card worries.  I'm sure they would simply love to see the Dutch upset Argentina earlier in the afternoon, but it's not something to count on.  
    For Iran, what's there to say?  They played hard for 70 minutes against Mexico and a half against Portugal.  They're just not very talented.  They have to settle for being the best Middle Eastern team.  Except they don't consider themselves Middle Eastern.  Okay, so they're the best Arab team.  No wait, my Iranian friend says he hates it when people call him Arab.  So they're the best Iranian team then.  Congratulations.  I look forward to seeing you guys stink it up for the next fifteen World Cups.  Provided you don't nuke anybody.  

    3 Stars

3.    # 17 RF Christiano Ronaldo:  With Deco's return from suspension, Scolari switched it to a 4-4-2 and paired this annoying prima donna with Pauleta.  He had a bevy of chances, and he took them all.  To his credit, he's not afraid to shoot.  However, like the impetuous Mamba, his shot selection isn't too great.  Anyway, he forced a couple of tough saves from the keeper and scored on a penalty to ice it.  I dislike him though.  Reminds me too much of A-Rod.  

2.    # 20 CM Anderson Deco:  Portugal looks better with him in the lineup, no doubt, but the true test will be against a good team.  And it won't come against Mexico since he picked up a yellow.  He did his thing, dribbled through a bunch of people, blasted a couple of shots, scored the scorching decider from just outside the box on a set up from The Man.  Goalie Ebrahim Mirzapour, who was unfortunately his side's best player by far, had no chance at it.  

1.    # 7 LM Luis Figo:  Roughly 4,814 times better in this WC than the last.  At 33, he remains Portugal's best player, and it's not even close.  Dished it to Deco for his goal, and then had a nice run into the box to draw a penalty from defender Yahya Golmohammadi which Ronaldo converted.  Could've easily had a couple of other helpers, with better finishing up front.

Media Highlights:  One gets the distinct impression that ESPN commentary guy hated this game...

64 mins... "At last! A Goal! Iran have to push forward now."
70 mins... "Figo falls over in the box...must have been a long blade of grass or   something."
74 mins... "Ronaldo does 15 stepovers and wins a throw... this is how exciting this game has become."
81 mins... "And that's it the ref blows the final whistle... oh no he doesn't, that's just my wishful thinking."

I can't help myself.  I adore snarky commenting.  

Ghana 2, Czech Republic 0

    Grrrr.  Okay, now I'm upset.  I was in a great fucking mood all tournament, all the favorites were winning, it was looking like it was going to be a bomb-ass knockout round, and now my pick to win the whole fuckin' thing looks like they might crash out in the group stages.  It's doubly frustrating because they played soooo well against the U.S.  Now one forward is hurt, another is suspended for Game 3, Milan Baros is still iffy with his injury, and it will be something like a major upset if they beat Italy to win the group.
Obviously, for the sake of my predictions, I'd like to see the Czechs win 1-0 (or 5-4, that'd be neat!) and the U.S.-Ghana game to end in a draw.  I guess I can't cry about it if Italy wins and the Czechs finish 2nd, but I wouldn't be confident at all with Brazil looming as their 2nd round opponent.  Italy matches up a lot better with the Samba Boys.  
    The real scary thing was that not only did the Czechs lose, but they should have gotten absolutely slaughtered, like 5-0.  Only great goaltending, horrendous finishing, a hit post on a PK, and some genuinely retarded play Ghana's substitute forward Razak Pimpong (who like most American fans, have no idea what constitutes an off-side violation) kept this game somewhat respectable.  The Czechs had a few good shots here and there, but their one real chance was what looked to be the tying header from midfield stud Pavel Nedved right after half.  They ruled him off-side and it looked like a shit call from here.  Ghana dominated the game and completely deserved the win.  For all I made fun of him, my friend might have nailed it, picking Italy one, the Black Stars two.  I'm not sure how the U.S. team will even get a result vs. them, let alone a win, although both Ghanese starting forwards will miss the game because of excess yellow cards.  

    Your 3 Stars

3.    # 8 CM Michael Essien:  His stats might look tamer, but Essien was much more effective in this game than last.  He dominated the ball at midfield, clearly won his individual duel with Nedved, and was able to shoot less and pass more because his strikers were a lot more active and had more breakout opportunities thanks to getting such an early need.  Had a couple of excellent one-twos in the box foiled by Cech.  

2.    # 1 GK Petr Cech:  Now I can see why he's called the best goalie on the planet.  Had three or four ridiculous stops to keep his team in the game.  There wasn't much he could have done on either goal.  His defense completely abandoned him today.

1.    # 3 RF Asamoah Gyan:  The little uncoordinated psychopath engine that could.  Got on the end of a wonderful 2nd minute lob from midfielder Stephen Appiah androofed it for the startling lead, then botched up (or was robbed of) a half dozen chances before finally hooking up midfielder Sully Muntari in the 82nd minute for the clincher.  Oh and he missed a penalty kick too, off the post.  A stupid foul in 85th minute means he misses their next match.  Muntari too.  Not smart.  

Media Hightlights:   A sampling of the game commentary...

13 mins... "Cute!  Nedved and Rosicky combine well through the middle..."
15 mins... "Wide! Appiah fires a low shot a couple of yards..."
22 mins...."Nedved shanks his shot horribly wide.  Rubbish.  And he has bad hair."
23 mins..."Dreadful!  Sulley Muntari breaks through the middle..."

So... cute, wide, dreadful, and bad hair.  It's like he's met my ex-girlfriend.  

Italy 1, USA 1

How can I put this without sounding rude?   I want team America to go away I find their coach rather unpleasant looking.  I mean, holy fucking shit, Bruce Arena is one ugly dude.  He's like a cross between a Mongoloid and a pygmy.  Combine the constant close-ups to him with the relentless and infuriating ABC/ESPN decision to cover this World Cup entirely from the perspective of what the American team has done/will do, and I'm getting very tired, very quickly of this team.  
The completely biased reporting about the ref totally crossed the line of professionalism.  The commentators act like the Italian red card was deserved and the two U.S. ones were a complete joke.   They were all deserved.   Then they brought up how the ref wasn't allowed to work the WC in '02 because of some shady decisions in his league back home.  Finally, they demanded that he not be allowed to work any more WC games, as if it was their decision.   Just typical American arrogance, demanding respect when they've given none and earned little.  
Did they outplay the Italians for big chunks of the contest?  Definitely.  But at the end of the day, they still have a grand total of one honest to goodness shot on goal in two games, dead last among the 32 teams.  Pathetic.  The midfielders and forwards seem incapable of communicating or linking with each other, and they're all petrified of shooting the ball.  Even when Player A, such as Bobby Conven or Landon Donovan makes a great move to get by a couple guys, the problem is that represents only ¼ of what you need to do to score.  After Player A creates some space, he still needs to make an accurate and timely pass/cross B, to player who worked himself open in a dangerous position C, who shoots/heads it accurately and doesn't have it unluckily saved D.  For America, just getting past "B" here requires something akin to a minor miracle.  For quality teams, they regularly get to "C" a dozen times easily, and to "D" maybe a half dozen times during the course of a game.  
Their game with Ghana should be surprisingly compelling.  On one hand they have to go all out for a win, and one would think this would leave them exposed for counters, so one way or another, somebody's gonna score a couple in this thing.  Also, their defense will be further weakened with the absences of central defender Eddie Pope and holding midfielder Paolo Mastroeni.   On the other hand, The Black Stars will be playing without both of their goal scorers from the Czech game.    My gut says another 1-1 draw for the Yanks.  
The Italians have problems.  For two straight games they started Daniele De Rossi, and for two straight games he's been a complete lunatic.  He was damn fortunate to not be called for any spot kicks to the Ghanese in their first game, (they could've gotten him for two) and what does he do but completely open up Brian McBride's face with a stray elbow in game two.  Not only will he miss the third game, but FIFA will probably take further disciplinary action.  The team should just send him home and be done with it.  He's been a disgrace.  
Besides him, it looks like once again that midfielder Francisco Totti is hurt/slumping.  His backup, the much maligned Alessandro Del Piero, seems to be in good form however, so we'll see how it goes for him in I'm assuming a one game audition to regain his starting spot.   Also, forward Luca Toni didn't have nearly the jump for this game that he had vs the Africans.  The whole team looked lazy until the subs came in.  It's a real catch-22 for them here.  I want them to lose to the Czechs and finish 2nd in the group, yet if they go in to a game against Brazil on the heel of two straight sub-par performances, how much chance could they really have to do well there?  Slim and none.  Knowing the Azzuri, they'll probably play it really safe and look for the draw until the score update they get on the bench from the other game dictates other strategy.   Only a goal by the Czechs or by The Black Stars will rouse them, I think.

    Your 3 Stars

3.    # 15 LM Bobby Convey:  I guess he was sort of responsible for the American goal, since it was his curling free kick that was sliced in the Italian net by defender Christian Zaccardo.  But even besides that, he was generally the U.S. team's most active player, unafraid to challenge defender and launch some wayward shots.

2.    # 18 GK Kasey Keller:  After being helpless against the Czechs, showed some good form later here, robbing Del Pierro twice in the last ten minutes, when the Azzuri finally realized that they were a man up.  

1.    # 7 LF Alessandro Del Piero:  Came on in the 54th for Zaccardo and took a while to warm up, but once he got himself going in the 75th minute or so, he produced two excellent shots on goal and a great set up for forward Vincento Iaquinta that turned into nothing.  If I'm the Czechs, I worry about him more than anyone, because he really looks like he wants to play and play well.  It will be his last chance at the WC.  

Media Highlights:  I started covering my ears up like Timmeh did in that commercial with Dr. J, so I missed what the broadcasters had to say.  Rest assured, it was something along the lines of U-S-A All the Way!