Weakened By Old Age; Feeble; Infirm

by Matthew Powell on Nov 30, 2006 12:00 AM CST in Game_Recaps

San Antonio 75 @ Utah 83

You probably want to read about this game as much as I want to write about it. The Spurs looked old, slow and unathletic. This is mainly due to the fact the players Pop put on the court are, for the most part, old, slow and unathletic.

Consider this: players 30 years or older played 53 minutes for the Jazz. For the Spurs, players 30 years or younger played 53 minutes. I didn't even make that up!

So which Spur sucked the most tonight? So many to choose from! Oberto deserves an honorable mention for playing 20 minutes and managing 1 rebound, 1 missed field goal and 2 personal fouls. That's it. But hey, let's spread the love. After all, Robert Horry sucked some balls, too. 3 points on 1-5 shooting, though he did manage to grab 8 rebounds. Hey Big Shot, the flopping without the ball is getting way out of control.

But really folks, Michael Finley out did himself tonight. 3 points on 1-8 shooting, 2 rebounds and 2 turnovers in 22 minutes. Terrific. Just terrific. Why is he starting? Why. The. Fuck. Is. He. Starting? Start Barry, who can actually space the floor for Duncan. Finley can come in when Duncan goes out and proceed to shoot his 18 foot fadeaways. One dribble. Pump fake. Pump fake. Fade away. Brick. Terrific. Just terrific. I'd rather play James White and have him cherry pick the whole fucking game.

But who's sucked more? Finley or Horry? It's hard to say. Let's investigate!

FG%
Horry -- 25.9%
Finley -- 32.5%

3P%
Horry -- 25.8%
Finley -- 25.0%

ok. That's just too depressing. I'm stopping. They both suck. They both win. We lose. Please come back Manu. Please. It's just your lower back. It's not like you took a fall off your roof... you were like 2 feet off the ground. Did we do something wrong? Was it that whole Kevin Martin thing? Is that what this is about? I'm sorry Manu. I never meant to hurt you. I am so, so sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I'll buy flowers. I'll say I love you more. I'll stop looking at other NBA players. Just say you'll stay. Just give me another chance.

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On the upside, I made 50 fake dollars tonight...

I amused myself during the game by imagining what would happen if Andrei Kirilenko and Andris Biedrins had a kid together*. That might be inbreeding tho. In fact, has anyone ever seen the two of them together? Utah supposedly played GS the other day, but I'm willing to bet that AK and AB were never on the floor at the same time.

Also, I think we can officially pronounce Tony's new-and-improved jumpshot DOA. Chip Engleleleand is not, in fact, Jesus Christ, and cannot resurrect a man's jumper through laying of hands. Yes, TP teased us for the first three or four games, but he's back to his old self now... bricking two FT's in a row, passing up open 12-footers, and darting deeper into the lane where Boozer swats his shot right to Okur and starts a 4-on-2 fast break the other way... just like old times, Tony. .. remember? With Eva in the stands? Yeah... just like the old days...

*I'm imagining tall, lanky, very white, and hair like every kid in my seventh grade class had. That's just a guess.

chaos... panic... pandemonium... my work here is done.

by rick2g on Nov 30, 2006 1:33 AM CST 0 recs

Re: Weakened By Old Age; Feeble; Infirm

tell me again why we're taking 25 threes a game? No wonder we're 24th in the league in FTs attempted. Tim's whining undoubtedly gets on the refs' nerves and leads to a lack of calls in key situations (he really should learn to pick his battles), and Tony's always taken the anti-Manu approach to contact, except when it comes to the floor. Nobody except Barry (and maybe Bruce on a good night) should be taking more than 2 threes a game. If Manu takes more, that means he's probably not feeling agressive enough to drive. Finley...uh, no. Bob shouldn't even be playing enough minutes to attempt 2 per game, let alone 4. And its really hard for me to get on the Beno Bandwagon if he's gonna pull a Mini-Tony and shoot 4-11 (2-6 on threes) with 1 assist. Isn't he supposed to be our real PG?

Oh well, we always stink before Christmas anyway. Shaq's teams are routinely known for "flipping the switch", but we're just as guilty of it.

by davidpj24 on Nov 30, 2006 2:21 AM CST 0 recs