Game 7o @ Dallas: Spurs 88, Mavericks 81

Good news, douche! After April 15, no Mavs blogger will have any interest in entering your locker room.
(AP Photo/LM Otero)

So. The pertinent question on everybody's mind... are we back?

Christ, I have no idea. I wish I could believe.

It would've been much easier to just get blown out by Dallas, pack it in, call it a season, and accept that this franchise simply isn't destined to repeat, for a multitude of reasons, mostly having to do with a stubborn coach and a miserly owner. Really, I was quite okay with this. I mean, I wouldn't have been HAPPY, don't get me wrong, but after four titles in nine years, getting all mopey and shit would seem awful spoiled and Yankee fanish of us, now wouldn't it?

But nooo. We just had to come back and win that game, instilling us fans with renewed hope, however misguided it may be.

Was it pretty to watch? Of course not. The winning team shot 33%. If I want to watch offensive "execution" like that, I'd have been tuned into CBS Sports all weekend, following the wildly overrated and spectacularly nauseating NCAA tournament, where beautiful basketball goes to die a miserable agonizing death every March. I can't believe how millions upon millions of rubes tune into that sloppy clankfest year after year, simply because it's so convenient to gamble on.

"Yeah I know I'm watching a terrible game and that the winning team will finish with six assists and 21 turnovers, none of the competitors involved will ever mount to anything on a professional level and I didn't attend either school, but I filled out a bracket, so this is the premier sporting experience of the year."

Ugh.

Where was I?

Oh right, our ugly basketball game.

Except it was beautiful. Breathtaking. A masterpiece.

This, my comrades, was Spurs basketball, in all its everyone-in-America-hates-us-because-we're-boring glory. We scratched, we clawed, we dug in defense, we rebounded like rabid wolverines, (they box out like a motherfucker, I saw it on Animal Planet) we never gave them an inch of breathing room and we did juuust enough on offense to pull it out.

You know what it reminded me of? That game in LA last year against the Lakers, which coincidentally also took place on a Sunday afternoon and also found me clicky-clackittying away madly on the computer, trying to keep up with the action for Spurs fans who no doubt were already watching the game and didn't need my play-by-play. But you know, they log on to get my incisive, expert analytical commentary like "Parker sucks" and "Get the ball to Manu goddammit."

Anyway, as you may recall, in that game in LA the Spurs were in similar dire straights. The team was slumping, Powell had pretty much already waved the white flag (and I was looking for one to wave in my dresser) and the team was looking - everyone say it with me now - old, slow, and unathletic. You know, like the Spurs.

You want spooky similarities? Here we go.

In LA we shot 33.7%. In Dallas we shot 33.0%.
In LA we had 16 offensive rebounds and 53 total. In Dallas we had 16 offensive rebounds and 54 total.
We outrebounded LA by nine. We outrebounded Dallas by 11.
In LA we were 22-24 from the stripe. In Dallas we were 23-24 from the stripe.
In LA we had five steals and six blocks. In Dallas we had five steals and five blocks.
In LA all three members of the big three shot less than 50%, with two of the three, Tony and Manu under 40%. In Dallas all three shot under 50%, and only Manu nicked the 40% mark.
In LA our largest deficit was 11. In Dallas it was 12.
In LA Manu got hit in the head and/or face late by a preening wannabe tough guy. In Dallas Manu got hit in the head and/or face late by a preening wannabe tough guy.

(Okay, that's not really a coincidence. Manu pretty much always gets hit in the head and/or face by preening wannabe tough guys.)

See?

I told you, spooky.

Actually there was one striking difference between the two games. Back in '06-07 Michael Finley could still kinda sorta play a little, and he hit the winning shot in overtime, a loooong prayer of a three. In '07-08 though Michael Finley is not the same guy. In fact, I'm not entirely unconvinced that he decided to let Billy Ocean impersonate him for the season, on a lark. Somewhere the real Michael Finley could be crooning "Caribbean Queen" strikingly off-key for a bunch of horrified Billy Ocean fans on a cruise ship's lounge, folks who simply wanted to down a couple of margaritas and enjoy a pleasurable evening with one of their musical icons from the wacky 80s before returning to their rooms to "get it on."

I think what I'm trying to say here is that Michael Finley sucks and shouldn't be playing for Efes Pilsen in Turkey let alone an NBA contender. In case that message didn't come through loud and clear in the previous paragraph. Sometimes I can be cloudy and subtle, like all good writers are.

Do I have a point?

Yes, I think I do.

Overall I was very pleased with how we played. The defense was active, rotating, and communicative. Guys covered for each other. We rebounded well, especially the smalls, and Bowen (and yes... Fin) was particularly good in that regard. We held off Dampier and Brandon Bass, the latter particularly had been killing us all season. The rumor going around was that the latest Cuban-Avery dust-up has to do with Bass' playing time, with the former wanting him in there more and the L'il General not so confident in the youngster's aptitude for the game. Bass only played 11:41, so you tell me what's going on there. Then again, he was a -7, so maybe Avery knows something.

But yes, I am legitimately shocked we dominated these guys on the boards. They usually own us in that category, but we only allowed three offensive rebounds while racking up the aforementioned 16 in their end. I'm not sure how or why this happened. Maybe Avery saw the highlights from the past couple games of Tony streaking by everyone down the floor for easy lay-ins and made getting back on defense the main priority of his gameplan. Dallas just didn't look very hungry for the ball all day and nobody wanted to take it to the hole to draw some fouls.

They looked unmotivated, dispassionate, and in a word, soft. Like the old Mavericks we knew and loved. Methinks Avery has lost the team and I'd be pretty damn surprised if he was the coach next year. I'm guessing they'll try hard to unload Stack and Terry too as part of their makeover. Good luck with that.

As for the Ason Kidd trade, I guess it's safe to say at this point that it was an unmitigated disaster, like we all knew it would be. Dude can't shoot, simple as that. You can play offense four-on-five if the liability is a center or let's say a defensive specialist small forward who can just shoot corner threes, but you can't do it if he's the guy who always has the ball in his hands. Guys who always have the ball need to be able to score it when need be. Pretty common sense, no? Guarding Dallas these days is rudimentary, and that hasn't been the case with them since Dirk came aboard. We were guarding Kidd at times, with Tim Motherfucking Duncan, for crying out loud, and not suffering for it. Also, Dirk's eternal weakness, his ability to drive, reared it's ugly head once again, as Tony was able to do a superb job on him on switches, simply by letting him take awkward fadeaways.

So yeah, a good win, all in all. We have to guard against making too much of it because Dallas is so limited offensively these days, but it was a positive step for our defense and at least the guys look like they're trying and on the same page out there. When the smalls rebound and when Parker actually tries to guard somebody, we're still a halfway decent defensive team, when very few Western powers are.  Houston? New Orleans maybe? End of list.

Offensively we're miles away from ring #5. Fin is  toast. He's had it. Parker was alarmingly putrid, especially in the second half. I couldn't even watch him with the ball because I knew it would induce another uninterrupted stream of obscenities from my throat. They're going to pack it in against him from now 'til the end of time and if that jumper doesn't come around, we're in trouble, because it's not like he's going to start falling in love with playmaking all of a sudden. Tim is unaggressive for large stretches, and one can only hope he's conserving all his energy for the playoff grind, when we might have to rely on him more than ever. Barry is a Spur again, and he'll help space the floor and hopefully knock down the shots that Fin hasn't been, but who knows what kind of shape he's in, how his calf is, and how much Pop is willing to trust him, so deep into the season?

He's baaaack! And that means what exactly?
(AFP/GETTY IMAGES/Ronald Martinez)

Manu? He's Manu. He lets Parker be the show against the Bulls and Kings of the world, but when it's a big game and a big rival, he nuts up like he always has. Again the Mavs bullied him, with Stackhouse bodyslamming him and then shoving a fist into The Hustlemaker's grill, but this shit happens so often and so predictably, it's really not even worth mentioning anymore. People are gonna rough Ginobili up every so often, and when they do we should rejoice. The tactic never, ever, ever works.

Let's face it. On paper we're not looking like champions. We are slow. We are old. We're decidedly less springy and bouncy and musclebound than everyone we face. All we have going for us is the knowledge that for somebody to beat us in the playoffs, they will have to overcome Tim and Manu's will four out of seven games. And you can't quantify that fact on a statsheet.

Teams that are slower and frailer can beat squads that run faster and jump higher if they play together and play smart. And if you need proof, here's the proof.

You're welcome.

(Of course if we go down the tubes at Orlando on Tuesday, then forget it, I'm done with these guys.)

A look at tonight's box score:

FGA -- 35
FGM -- 8
FG% -- 23%
Total minutes -- 144
REB -- 11
AST -- 7
TOs -- 7
FTA -- 2

Those are the totals for the Spurs not named Parker, Ginobili and Duncan.

At some point Michael Finley and Robert Horry will be too old to play NBA basketball, and there's no current evidence suggesting that point is in their futures.

Yeah, it's those evil referees out to get you, Pop.
(AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Eh, the winning streak had to end sometime, and really, this team isn't built for Western Conference fogafinis (who is?).

Still, we had it though. I mean we fucking had it. Both games. An eight point halftime lead on the road in the first and a 5 point lead with less than four minutes to go in the second. What more could we have asked for? To come out in the second half and play like a completely different team... I mean, I know I sound spoiled and I shouldn't be so upset... but damn that was disappointing. The whole team just stopped competing. It's like a boxer that was winning on the scorecards for the first six rounds, doing everything right, and when the other guy lands one solid punch the guy's knees go weak and he's done. We just didn't punch back. And the Phoenix game? I can't even rationally talk about the Phoenix game. I would blame the zebras, but that would just make me sound like a pathetic Suns fan.

So instead I'll blame two people mainly. You'll never believe this either.

Pop and Frenchie.

I know! What are the fucking odds?

Pop, ever the big picture guy, has been waiting for a stretch like this for a while. The team was a little too happy with themselves, a little too confident, (wouldn't you be with The Domoninator on your side?) a little too filled with nonchalance, c'est la vie, ennui and other French words that mean the opposite of Tenemos cojones peludas inmensas.

He did everything but lay the dreaded soft card on the club when he said after the game that "We're not at the same level we were at last year at this time, even though we seem to be situated relatively well in the West. This team isn't as good as last year's team. We have significant improvement that we have to make both mentally and physically if we're going to be able to contend for the championship."

Oh really?

That comment seems, I dunno, pretty freakin' ballsy, coming from a coach who proudly claimed the other day that he still didn't think it was important to cobble together some kind of rotation, no? I mean, I know Pop is kind of stuck in the unusual position of having to wait until Barry comes back to have his roster set for good, but really he'd be in the same position if Bones was injured, right?

(Actually, Brent is injured).

Do you hear Phil Jax whining about not having a rotation down yet because Bynum isn't back? Please. It's March for crying out loud Pop, earn your paycheck and make a couple of fucking decisions already. It's not too much to ask for, is it? When Barry comes back from his banishment, this team will have 13 veterans on its roster. You can't seriously tell me that all 13 are good enough to contribute to a championship caliber team's playoff run.  Pick your 10 best and let's GO. Maybe, to ease the temptation of playing everybody, you should only dress 10 guys per game. It doesn't have to be the same 10 every night, but just 10. Too crazy?

All I know is that Pop heaps on loads upon piles upon mountains upon oceans of adversity on his innocent unsuspecting warriors. No other team has a coach who constantly dicks with their roles so much, from game to game. One day you're the 12th man, the next you play 27 minutes. One day you're the team's savior, scoring 44 points, the next you're the third banana. One day you're Mr. Finals MVP/Mr. Hollywood/Mr. Now, the next you're the guy whose job it is to get the ball to BigNose and get the hell out of the way and oh please don't screw that simple task up or we'll get Jacque Vaughn to do it.

There is not one guy on the team who can say his role has been stable for ten consecutive games. Not one. Even Timmy, some games he's the offensive/defensive bedrock, the foundation of everything we do, and other games he's asked to merely be The Admiral at 33 - rebound, block shots, get the ball to the guards who can score. Whatever. Tim can handle it. Nothing phases him except for crummy refereeing. And God has he been bitching a lot to the zebras lately. Like every game and every other trip down court. It's getting incessant. Can't Pop talk to him about that? It never does Tim any good and the more he whines the worse he plays. But anyway, as I was saying, I don't think his role within the offense bothers Duncan at all.

And Manu is a trooper. I don't think he minds being yanked back and forth from the starting line-up and bench so much. He's mostly gotten it down cold by now, though I'm surprised he hasn't slugged Pop in the face yet after the umpteenth time he's had to suffer playing with Horry, Vaughn, Udoka and Oberto.

But Tony? No, Tony cannot handle this. You hear me? CAN NOT. It's very unrealistic to expect him to function well when one night he's starting along Findog and he knows him and Teeemy have to be the show the first six minutes of the game and the next night Manu's in and he's foshizzle THE MAN these days so you can't just freeze him for eight possessions at a time like you used to in the good ol' days. The Wee Frenchman is showing all the signs of a man who is about to undergo a nervous breakdown. His game is a mess. His court vision is all but gone, his jump shot is awry, he doesn't get to the hole as frequently because EVERYONE is backing off him these days and he wastes countless possessions per game dribbling, dribbling, dribbling the clock away like Starbury, not knowing who to pass it to or whether he should "go into attack mode."

I think the little guy's confidence and his mojo is gone. Something happened to him when we were winning all these games in a row. Maybe something happened to Pop as well. Once again, he trusts/favors Gonzo more than Frenchie, and the toothpaste is out of the tube.

We could handle this back in '05. Back then Tim was three years younger and dominant. Manu still had the springs and the league still didn't think much of him back then. The club was younger, tougher, much better defensively. Bowen could shut his guy down night after night after night. Horry was not just among the living but an actual asset.

Those Spurs are gone and they're not coming back.

The team we cheer for now is unfathomably old. Unprecedentedly old. Outside of Parker, our youngest contributor is Bonner, and he's no athlete. This team needs Parker to be, if not as good as Manu, at least in the conversation. The past two years he was. There was actually an argument, a debate about this. The Hollinger crowd had their stats for Manu, the Cro-Magnons had the traditional "per game" averages for Tony.

Now there is no argument. The right guy won. It's not even close anymore. You'll get more debates about Manu/Tim than you will about Manu/Tony these days.

Here comes the unfortunate part: We need the old debate back. Tony's 25. Manu's an old 30. We need Tony to act like the second best player on the team, and on some nights even the best. We need him to be hungry and confident and certain of himself. We need him to be the guy I grudgingly respect instead of the one I openly mock.

But he can't do it without Pop. Pop needs to love Tony and tolerate Manu instead of the other way around. But Pop can't leave Manu on the bench because Michael Finley is awful. Like OH MY GOD HE IS SINGLEHANDEDLY KILLING US awful.

I don't know what the solution is. We have a roster full of role players that no one fears and who struggle to hit open as hell shots. Manu has to retreat to God damn near the half court line these days to get the ball from the point guard and initiate the offense because too many people are paying attention to him everywhere on the court and nobody else is fast/athletic/coordinated/alive enough to get open near the basket and occupy defenders.

We hardly get any fast break points and we're awful at finishing at the rim as a team. On both ends of the court we are at a massive disadvantage in youth, size, speed, athleticism, yet our coach, the very man who put these limitations on us, refuses to admit any of these basic truths. The Spurs on defense will not lock down any Western team for more than a six minute stretch here, a good quarter there. They're too good and talented, we're too old and slow. It's not about positioning, blown assignments or boxing out. It's about raw physical ability. If how well the game was played was based on how well you understand what you're doing, then 55 year old coaches would be playing one another instead of the players.  

Pop has gotten a lot of mileage - A LOT OF MILEAGE - out of his system, his personnel evaluation skills, his philosophies on the game. The truth of the matter is the guy is simply lucky as shit. He shamelessly tanked his way into Duncan falling in his lap. He drafted an Argentine guy with the second to last pick in the draft that wound up being part Larry Bird and part Sarunas Marcuilionis, but with Michael Jordan's desire to win. His GM had to beg him to work out Tony and then they got lucky again that Kidd spurned them.

The bottom line is that for all of Pop's supposed genius, he is actually pretty similar to Phil Jackson. He had the best player, he had another who was a top 15 player, and another on top of that who was top 30. It's not exactly miraculous to win with that formula. The reason it worked was that the role players were young enough to contribute. Now, it doesn't appear to be the case.

All I know is that he has nobody to blame but himself. You can't let talents like Scola and Udrih walk for nothing. James White wasn't unsalvageable. We're not finding the Brandon Basses, the Jermerio Moons, the Monta Ellises.

It's pretty dangerous, as far as I'm concerned, that our coach does not feel he has the ability to reach young American players or the patience to nurture foreigners who aren't quite as gifted or passionate as Ginobili or Parker.

Or maybe the front office just doesn't work hard enough. I wish I knew.

Either way, we are coming upon the playoffs. This will be it, or should be, for at least a third of the roster. We need to bid adieu to Horry, Finley, Stoudamire and Vaughn. If Bowen is brought back, it must be in a limited capacity. Thomas is old as hell too and next year we'll have two new centers, right? Barry might very well energize us a bit, maybe even "save" the offense this playoff run. But as much as I like him, I'm not at all thrilled about the years on his new contract.

Solutions? I'm short on solutions. I guess it was a good first step, playing Bonner over Horry, but I have zero faith in Pop sticking to that, so I can't get too excited. Unless he is waived off the team, the specter of Horry will always be there to haunt us.

Manu has to return to the bench permanently, to help Tony and to give us that bench scoring. Plus it helps Pop control his minutes under 32, and that's a good thing overall. If Finley sucks too much to start than go with Udoka. Even if he misses shots, he might - MIGHT -play some defense.

Finally, when Barry comes back, assuming he's healthy and able, a big assumption at this point, I'd scrap both Mighty Mouse and Vaughn and go with the Barry-Manu backcourt when Tony needs a blow. It doesn't matter who is the point and who is the two, they can alternate for all I care. They're smart enough to figure it out. Offensively this should be pretty potent. Defensively, we'll be in a little trouble, but not as much as you'd think. First of all, it's not like Vaughn or Stoudamire were shutting down any of the small quick guards either. At least Barry has length, if nothing else. Secondly, I would recommend that we just go into a pure zone when Tony is out, or maybe have Bowen take the point guard. Whatever. If we pack the lane in as much as possible, it shouldn't be too bad for 12 minutes a night.

Defensively, we'll figure things out as much as we can. Between Tony, Manu, Tim, Bowen, Thomas, Udoka and Oberto, we have enough guys who are average to good defensively. Offense is where this team is really struggling, playing below their potential. The ball movement isn't there, Timmy isn't dominating his guy and Manu is running on fumes waiting for Parker to figure his shit out.

So yeah, I'm a little concerned about the upcoming stretch of games.

I'm going to live blog the game, just so you know. Hopefully y'all will participate.

I know you're used to people caring.  Manu doesn't care.  He doesn't know your names.  He doesn't give a shit about Brooklyn or North Carolina.  He doesn't remember anything you said to him during the game.  He doesn't remember the feminine slaps to the face.  You are done.  You are vanquished.

Next.

Answers:

Retire Robert Horry.  Whether that requires blackmail, bribery or simply shooting the man in the kneecap, make him go away.  The Spurs average 99.8 points per 100 possessions when he's on the court and 111.2 when he's off.  I don't care how many shots he blocks per game, it can't make up for the absolute zero he is on offense.

Speaking of zeros on offense, let's make a list of Spurs players the other team doesn't really have to guard when the Spurs have the ball:

Robert Horry
Jacque Vaughn
Bruce Bowen
Francisco Elson
Fabricio Oberto
Michael Finley

And don't even give me any shit for including Finley on that list.  His TS% is 49.7% which is below league average, below Bruce Bowen and below Ime Udoka.  Finley can still can the open 3 but he takes so many horrible fall away 2s that he more than negates his long-range capabilities.  I love how we start every game by running a play for him.  It's like starting sex with a bunch to the balls.  Unless you're into that sort of thing.  Then it's not like that.

Ime Udoka needs to play more.  First of all, he's got that cool arm birthmark scar thing going on.  That shit is tight.  Secondly, you get the feeling he would punch a fella if provoked.  Thirdly, he can actually grab a fucking rebound occasionally, more than can be said for Bowen and Finley.

(Look, I know Parker's been bad lately, but I'm not going to pile on because:

A)  He's hobbling, hobbled; he has a hobble.
B)  There's about 9 other Spurs who have sucked more than him.
C)  Half the crap he gets is mainly due to a reaction against the sizable portion of Spurs fans who foolishly think he's anything close to the player that Manu Ginobili is.  I'm not going to participate in that.

BUT, Tony, do yourself a favor and stop talking to the opposing players with a smile on your face when your team is losing and playing like ass.  That's awfully French of you, ok?)

Shoot Robert Horry in the other kneecap, just to be safe.

The next time Manu passes the ball when Kyle Korver is guarding him someone needs to punch Manu straight in the schnozz.  That's a buncha bullshit Manu.  And shoo away the pick and roll in that situation, mmmkay?  IT'S KYLE KORVER FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Did you know that defensively the Spurs are only 0.2 points better per 100 possessions when Duncan is on the court?  Last year the difference was 6.5 points.  The year before that it was 2.0 point difference.  You slackin' out there Tim?  Just wonderin'.  Don't get me wrong, youz ain't the problem.  But I like to rag on you just to piss off the common folk.

And another thing that every Spurs fan just needs to admit.  We need to get this off our collective chest.  I don't say this lightly, and I'm gonna use a word I don't often use on this here blog.  Fabricio Oberto plays like a bitch.  I'm sorry Mom, He does.  That Houston game was embarrassing.  Grabbing folks and then falling down like they pushed you.  Grow a pair, Jesus.  Wait.  I'm not telling Jesus to grow a pair.  I doubt he has much use for a pair because, wait, I'm digressing and offending; digrending?  It's an expression, like "grow a pair, damn!"

Play Matt Bonner.  I mean, shit, this is pretty self-explanatory, right?  Matt Bonner does not suck ass.  Pop is currently playing a bunch of guys that suck ass.  I see an easy solution to this here predicament.

Switching the pick and roll is lazy.  Even when warranted, it's still lazy.  The Spurs switched the pick and roll all night.  Paul repeatedly ran pick and rolls at the top of the key with West and occasionally Chandler.  It was obvious Pop didn't respect Paul's outside shot; whichever big man switched onto him played at least 5 ft off Paul.  He could have shot 22 footers all night.

Unfortunately Chris Paul was too smart for that.  Over and over again he lobbed the ball to West who shot over the smaller Parker / Vaughn, or took them to the basket, or waited for the double team and then kicked it back out for the (eventual) wide open three.

It was clear by half time that switching the pick and roll wasn't working (the offensive struggles of the Hornets during the 2nd quarter had everything to do with the helpless Jannero Pargo running the show instead of Paul and nothing to do with Pop's game plan).  Pop stuck with it anyway; for the whole, entire game.  West ended up 15-19, Paul ended up with 11 assists and the Hornets shot 54% from the field.  I'm not sure Paul or West even broke a sweat on offense tonight.  Of course neither did the Spurs.  Switching allows you to stand around and watch.

It's inexcusable coaching from Popovich and I'm waiting for anybody with a louder voice than me to say anything about it.

Mark Blount's defense against Tim Duncan was so bad that it has led me to conclude that he must be a horrible, horrible person.  I bet he tips badly and parks in handicapped spaces.  He probably pretends to love Jesus just to get in womens' pants.  And he definitely clubs baby seals.  That's a given.

It's a called timeout.  It allows you to stop the clock, advance the ball, and maybe get something better than a 1 on 4.

How many good offensive possessions did the Spurs have in the last five minutes?  Why did the Spurs end the game with 3 timeouts when they weren't getting good shots?

Yay Coach Pop!!!1!11!