Why is Tim Duncan going on David Letterman?

Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

Duncan hasn't been on a late night talk show since his rookie season, so of course he's appearing to do the Top Ten List.

As you've probably heard, Tim Duncan has decided to return to the Spurs for another season, opting into the final year of his two-year contract for $10.3 million, according to a report from Yahoo! hoops insider Adrian Wojnarowski. The report is contrary to what plugged-in San Antonio Express-News columnist Buck Harvey tweeted earlier in the day, about Duncan wanting to opt out of his deal to sign another two-year contract for more overall money but less annual salary.

Either way, it seems the odds are very high that we'll have Duncan in our lives for at least one more season, which means yours truly will get to cover him in person. I'm way too excited about hearing this gigantic man's monotone cliche answers for eight months. I can't wait til he eye-rolls me.

Anyway, we're gonna be spared the horrifying prospect of Tim Duncan announcing his retirement on David Letterman Tuesday night, which is not a sentence I ever imagined typing. The last time Duncan sat down for a national talk show was 1997, so I'm still a bit dumbstruck that he's doing this. If you asked the 2007 version of me which was more likely in the summer of 2014, that Duncan would still be going strong and coming off a championship or that he'd agree to be on Letterman again, I'd have picked the former without blinking.

I have no idea what they'll talk about now. Race cars? Pop's sideline interviews? Duncan's "guarantee" of a Finals win before the series started? It should be fascinating, though I'm not expecting that Letterman is gonna get Duncan to open up much. Really, I only want one thing.

You see Letterman is famous for his nightly Top Ten lists, and now and then he'll have that night's guest or some other celebrity read them off, so I'm thinking there's a decent chance that Duncan will be asked to do the honors for Tuesday's show, no doubt poking fun at himself, Pop and his teammates in the process.

Here are three lists I've come up with, though I'm sure the real thing won't be anywhere near as hilarious because how can professional comedy writers top this?

Top 10 Questions I Wish Sideline Reporters Asked Pop During The NBA Finals

10. What impact do you think the third quarter will have on your legacy?

9. Don't you feel guilty for making Dwyane Wade look so bad on YouTube?

8. No, seriously, why did you take out Duncan at the end of Game 6 last year?

7. Can you please trade for Kobe Bryant next season?

6. Who is your favorite "SportsCenter" anchor?

5.  Why do you think Tony and Eva didn't work out?

4. Why don't you like me?

3. Do you ever wish you coached a team that flopped less ... like maybe the Italian soccer team?

2. Pop, when Duncan hangs ‘em up, will you look at younger centers in free agency, like Bill Russell?

1. Can you get me LeBron's autograph?

Top 10 Tim Duncan Contract Demands To Play For Spurs For One More Season

10. No more splitting team dinner checks as long as Boris Diaw is under contract.

9. Let me participate in the slam-dunk contest next year.

8. Tell everybody to stop calling us "The Big Three" -- Tony Parker is only five foot four.

7. Extend my curfew to 11 p.m. on off-nights.

6. A month off during the season to promote my upcoming rap album.

5. Three words: Starting point guard.

4. I get to slap Manu Ginobili once a week, no questions asked.

3. Allow more media access before and after games so everyone can get to know the real me.

2. Sign some guys who speak English already.

1. Just one more season and then I gotta take over for Letterman.

Top 10 Popovich Reactions To Tim Duncan Coming Back For One More Season

10. Great. Ten million for a backup center. Way to ruin our salary cap, Tim.

9. I'm gonna need you to work on your three-pointer over the summer.

8. Can you use some of that money to buy some nice clothes?

7. The regular season bores me. You be player-coach and wake me in April.

6. What's your motivation to come back this time, to redeem yourself for that crushing defeat against gravity?

5. How are we supposed to your replacement in the draft lottery if you won't go away?

4. Is it because TNT didn't want you to join their studio show?

3. Can you speak in an accent next year so I feel more comfortable coaching you?

2. There goes our chance of signing LeBron.

1. Another year? Can't you find another hobby?

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