Shocking REAL Photos of Southern Woodland Monster!!!
Texas community gripped by fear and confusion
Zoologists and animal biologists alike are scratching their heads this week over a seriously creepy, 100% real photograph acquired by the Weekly Alarm. Taken by a young couple while walking on a central Texas hiking trail, the image depicts a massive, leathery beast with huge claws and a demonic face.
"When I saw this picture, I brought my children indoors and locked every entryway into our home," said Miriam Fitz, a homemaker who lives only two hours from where the photograph was taken. "This is the day we have prepared for. We welcome the cleansing fire."
Local authorities have been slow to act on the matter, as both the Bexar County Police Department and the Texas Ranger Division declined to comment on the sighting. The law's reluctance to take action has ignited protests from both the national media and from public activists, who suspect a cover-up.
"I intend to file a class-action suit against the state of Texas to hold it accountable for failing to acknowledge the threat posed to its citizens. Who's lining your pockets, Governor?" asked Milton Derby, a representative of Derby & Clem Paranormal & Cryptozoological Legal Counseling in Syosset, New York.
Derby added, "If you or one of your loved ones has suffered emotional distress as a result of the law's inability to apprehend and euthanize this creature, feel free to contact my offices for a mostly free consultation."
The people of Texas, however, are beginning to take the investigation into their own hands.
"Seems to me it's an obese chupacabra [! - ed.]," said Rex Hurlan of Muleshoe, Texas. Hurlan, an exotic game hunter and cryptozoology enthusiast, has "seen such varmints" in the nearby hills for years. "Ain't no doubt. It's either a chupacabra or maybe like a puberty elephant."
Other experts aren't so sure.
"That is a simply a bear that has lost its hair," said Zoe Miller, a biology professor at St. Edward's University. "It's an animal in a zoo in Germany. You took that photo from the internet, and you photoshopped the animal onto a different background of a hiking trail."
While the origin of the creature may never be conclusively determined, one thing remains true: the Weekly Alarm is the only outlet willing to investigate the real threats lurking in the state of Texas. Be sure to check out our malware-ridden pop-up ad of a website for updates on this shocking south Texas story.