Ask any astronaut what the best part of the job is, and you'll get only one answer: spraying your pee droplets into the vacuum of space. Ever since NASA was first launched in 1958, America's greatest scientific minds have proudly collaborated to place men and women inside rockets and send them skyward to mark our cosmic territory.
You might be saying to yourself, "Gee, I sure would like to blast off into the heavens and blow my urine all over the stars!" Well, not so fast, space cadet!
Becoming an astronaut takes more than just a urethra. You've also gotta have smarts. You'll need to know complicated mathematical processes like long division, so you should be sure to pay attention in school. And you'll need to be strong and healthy, so be sure to drink your milk and eat your veggies. Especially asparagus.
If you stay focused in the classroom and exercise regularly, you'll be well on your way to becoming a genuine U.S. astronaut in no time!
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Until then, keep working hard, and remember, kids: the Universe is your toilet!