Are you tired of hearing about LeBron's failures rather than San Antonio's success?
Here's something to enjoy:
HE WHOSE NAME MUST NOT BE MENTIONED:
MR. “L” FROM HERE ON IN
June 13, 2013 (a hyperbolic account of a fictional event):
San Antonio, Texas –
In a shocking turn of events, during the NBA’s over-analyzed, hype-machined, and yes, critically important NBA Finals, the sports media higher-ups have unanimously decided to stop talking about LeBron James. From here on in, he must be referred to simply as “Mr. L,” if he’s discussed at all, in any medium, whether it be on the internet, the television, the radio, or that most outdated medium, print journalism.
The man who runs the 24-hour sports news cycle at ESPN (let’s call him Ernie) has gone into hiding, after suffering a nervous breakdown. LeBron James’ full first name “LeBron” as well as his full first and last names”LeBron James,” is no longer eligible for use on any ESPN or ABC network, no longer being discussed by that internet sports mega-celebrity Bill Simmons, or by anyone even loosely connected to the NBA, ESPN, ABC, Grantland, CNNSI, SB Nation, Deadspin, USA Today, or anyone, anywhere, at any time.
A fictional assistant speaking on behalf of ESPN-ABC’s “NBA Countdown,” the pre-game LeBron-fest that appears before every NBA Finals game, put it this way:
“We have been told from the higher-ups that the American people have simply exceeded their tolerance for talking about one human being. I guess during that 27-game winning streak, we just said his name too often. We’re told that the continual parallels to Michael Jordan have been particularly exhausting to the hardcore NBA fan, though the casual fans do appear to eat it up with a spoon.
To read the entire fictional press release, click here: http://darkoindex.com/2013/06/13/he-whose-name-must-not-be-mentioned-mr-l-from-here-on-in/
Thanks for reading and Go Spurs,