FanPost

Harden's Beard Is Stupid


You know me. Or may be not, it doesn't matter. I am a quiet type. I barely write anything, and when I do, nobody reads it anyway. I didn't publish a post in about 17 years here. Not that I didn't want to. I wrote a nice draft post about Matt Bonner. I also started to write a deep post about Game 6 and the Finals. But I never finished and never published it. Which doesn't really matter, as nobody would read it anyway. There are much better writers at the PtR. Like that guy, Aaronstampler. I seriously suspect that his first name is not Aaron, and his last name is not Stampler. I mean, do you know anyone whose last name is Stampler? Neither do I. If you google him, you can get a photo, like this one. Do you think this is a photo of Aaronstampler? Neither do I.

Aaronstampler recently wrote a nice post, where he had a few nice words about James Harden:

Is this guy shameless with the flops. He smashes his face into a stationary defender's chest and acts like he got punched in the nose. He runs into people and flails his arms on every shot. Hell, on his game-tying three he was trying to draw a foul. I hate Harden. He is the Neymar of the NBA. If he's gonna get to the line 15 times anyway, I hope they foul him a lot harder next time.

People actually read what Aaronstampler writes, don't ask me why. I read him myself. He is a lot of fun to read, even though if he writes anything about Matt Bonner, Coach B, Medium Fundamental or Red Mamba, you better not read it, it probably will be just hot air and baloney. He just doesn't understand those subjects.

Even roxfans, those of them who can read, read Aaronstampler, don't ask me why, because I am not a roxfan. When they read about James Harden, some of them, those who can type, type comments comparing Harden with Manu. Which is clearly trolling. Of course, it’s totally laughable to compare Harden’s flopping with Manu’s flopping. When Manu used to flop, long long time ago, it was a masterpiece, an artfully playful ingredient of the game, a wink of a Großmeister. A well-executed Manu’s flop was a joy and pleasure to watch. In fact, I miss the flopping Manu, with his long hair accentuating the impact, arms flailing and everything. I wish we could still be treated to a good old Manu flop sometimes, like we are still treated to an occasional 20/20 game by another Großmeister. It would be a nice nostalgic reminder of good times, when we all were younger, when LeBron was ringless and when Tony and Eva were together. Just good old times. Now, Harden’s flopping is totally different. First of all, it’s ugly. Second, it’s not fair. It’s shameless, disgraceful, insensitive, it shows total lack of any human decency or modesty. It is an act of brazenly disrespectful mockery of the game. Comparing Manu’s flops with Harden’s flops is like comparing Manu’s beard to Harden’s beard. Manu’s beard is cute, cheerful and charming. Harden’s beard is simply offensive. It’s ugly and distressful, it shows total disregard of one individual to feelings of millions of people, all over the world, who are forced to watch this monstrosity, not even to mention sensitivities of the players, who need to be on the same court with it. To summarize it more succinctly, "Harden is a stupid flopper with the stupid beard, and his beard is stupid". If NBA cared about its image, as it’s pretending to, it would fine Harden $50,000 every time he plays unshaven. It would also fine him twice on Sundays and National Holidays, when the children are watching the games. He should get at least one technical every time he steps on the court wearing that beard. And if he doesn’t shave it during the halftime, he should get another technical. Of course, anyone, who watch basketball and has some ethical and aesthetical standards, even if he unfortunately happens to be a roxfan, would clearly see that Manu and Harden are two players and two people, who should not even be mentioned in the same sentence. Such hypothetical sensible roxfan would immediately recognize, how futile and unfair would be any attempt to compare those two, and would immediately stop trolling, even before starting it.

Which brings us finally to the tonight's question:

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