Kondor's Random Rant: Chris Paul Is Not Born to Assist, He Is Paid to Lie

This post continues a series of random rants I started with a rant devoted to Harden's beard. Today I rant about TV commercials.

I have a League Pass Broadband. I can watch and replay pretty much any Spurs game, plus almost any game for another four teams on my computer. My internet connection kinda sucks, so the quality is not quite up to HD TV standards, but bearable (it's much better than free links you can find on the internet). This year I can choose to listen to Bill and Sean (or Andrew and P.J.) rather than to opponents' talking heads, which is a notable improvement. A notable drawback is that now they have commercials during the timeouts. One annoying feature of these commercials is that they seem to have may be five of them, and they are playing each of these five 2,000 times in a row. Even a decent commercial becomes a torture when you watch it 1,538 times. Another feature is even worse. Look, I clearly told LP what 5 teams I'd like to watch this season. I am making no secret what my favorite team is. So I should expect to watch some Timmy, Manu, Tony and Red Mamba, right? Plus may be some Love, Lilllard and Paul George Hill in between. That's how contextual advertising works. But evidently LP ad geniuses never heard of the contextual advertising or despise the idea. So they give me LeBron, a lot of LeBron. They gave me a lot of Derrick Rose until he got reinjured. They made me to watch some Jason Terry (wtf is that?). And more recently they bombard me with Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.

As we rediscovered recently when we lost to the Clippers, they are rather unlikeable team with rather unlikeable players. Blake Griffin is a freak athlete without any evidence of BBIQ. DeAndre Jordan misses FTs and grows a beard to challenge Harden for the most stupid beard in the NBA. Doc Rivers has an annoying voice. Then there is Chris Paul.
You probably watched those commercials. The series starts with a lie: they claim that Chris Paul has an identical twin, and that they were separated at birth. Evidently, there are people who believe it, probably because CP3 is seen as such trustworthy person. Here are more gullible people. Just read some of these comments. My personal favorite is "Sorry, I knew it was a stupid question. It's illegal to make up things in commercials, especially making up a human being." You know, lying to such people is like stealing candies from babies. But CP3 and his handlers wouldn't stop at just a single crime of making up a human being on TV in front of millions of shocked viewers. They proceeded to claim that being an insurance agent is as cool as being an NBA player. Now, this is a superlie of Hollywood proportions. In fact, according to some studies insurance agent is the most unpopular profession. There are 1,000 times more insurance agents in the US than NBA players, and there are about 1,000,000 times more people who would rather be an NBA player than an insurance agent. Was CP3 "born to assist?" I don't think so: NBA players score a lot on and off the court. Google "hot NBA WAGs" and you'll probably have a renewed appreciation about the kind of a league these guys are playing in. Now google for images of "hot girlfriend of insurance agent" and you can find some real life "born to assist" stories. Ouch!

Of course, you may think that all lies propagated by CP3 are harmless, but think of an impressionable youth, who has a talent to become and NBA player, but would choose instead to be an insurance agent. Just think, if this guy would become an insurance agent, we may still start this guy or that guy. The truth is, lies are never harmless. You may also say that every commercial is a lie, and even present some examples. However, not everyone lies. Some athletes has an integrity and common sense to make realistic, down-to-earth commercials. While Cliff Paul was never born, insurance agent is not a cool profession, and KIA Optima is not a high-quality car, baby carrots are in fact good for your health. So, when you see an ad, be careful: not all of the athletes are equally trustworthy.


Careful: only one of these guys is trustworthy!

So, that's my rant, now let us hear more expert opinion, yours:

This is fan-created content on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at Pounding the Rock.

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