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Day 345.

Dear diary,
It has now been 5 days since the Spurs last played, so I'm not sure why I put "Day 345" up above. I'm afraid I cannot stand this situation for much longer, the lack of playoff basketball involving my team is taking a toll on both my sanity and that of fellow PtR-ers. The Loser Threads are overflowing with comments by bored, frustrated people talking about soccer and movies, and it's only a matter of time before they riot over a pile of Choco Tacos.

The Clippers and the Grizzlies can't seem to decide who wants to win the series, as if to mock us all by making us watch their horrible brand of basketball until they meet a real challenge in the Spurs. Of small solace is the fact that though Kobe was sick the other night, it was his teammates who took a shit all over the court with their effort. That made me a little happy. Tonight brought bad news, however, as the Lakers advanced to the second round proving once again that the universe is a cold, uncaring place.

For myself, I'm afraid things are getting worse. The other day I saw Tony Parker and his French friends hanging out at the grocery store. I was ecstatic to see a Spurs player up close, but it seemed weird that both Parker and his friends were on sale. Turns out I was looking at baguettes the whole time.
It was not the only trick my brain played on me this week. I have also thought I had seen Boris Diaw in the documentary Planet Earth but quickly realized I was watching footage of the majestic whale shark.

I long for the days of seeing Parker slicing all over the court and dropping his deadly jump shot, Duncan playing solid defense and taking guys to school in the post, Manu Manuing everywhere and Bonner doing...Whatever the hell it is that he does. But those days seem farther than ever now. Supplies are running low and morale is almost non-existent, I'm not sure I can make it through the weekend.
I think I will get through this the way most of PtR seems to deal with problems, by drinking.

This letter was found next to a corpse surrounded by alcohol bottles. The police investigation concluded that the victim hadn't drank a single drop of alcohol, but had instead hilariously slipped on a banana peel on his way out of the liquor store, striking his head against a discarded Doritos Locos Tacos shell.


The Rules: KEEP IT TOGETHER. THE WAIT IS ALMOST OVER.


Today we have the Clippers and the Grizzlies in a game that will decide who plays the Spurs next year ( it seems) unless they go to 50 over times just to spite us. Whoever scheduled this game at 10am (Pacific time), I hope you find your true love and then she cheats on you with your best friend, in front of you.

Then we have the Pacers and the Heat but I'll probably be asleep by then so I don't care.


Oh and Happy Mother's Day! If you're not a mother, shame on you. Just kidding, the whole thing is a scam by the Hallmark mafia.