OJ! WHY DID I HIRE YOU JUST TO DESTROY YOUR CONFIDENCE?
Just a week ago, I wrote a preview lambasting the Dallas Mavericks and as luck would have it, it's my turn to preview and they are up again. I feel as if every one of my 10 rounds was fired out of my soon to be proverbial handgun. All I have is disdain for Dallas, and we've covered it. What's left in my soon to be proverbial handgun's chamber? Well, there's always Mark Cuban.
Always the easy target because he's built like the miniature love-child of the Marshmallow Monster from Ghostbusters and DeJuan Blair during his peak WhataBurger years, Cuban did not disappoint Thursday night as his Mavericks fell to the the Thunder in overtime.
With every disappointed shake of Cuban's head, you could see OJ Mayo's confidence leak away like melted marshmallow leaking from a hole that was created by my soon to be proverbial handgun. I've never seen anything like it. Seemingly every time that OJ made a mistake, TNT zoomed in on a disgusted, disgusting, Mark Cuban.
Cuban's disdain for Mayo destroyed his team's chances of winning. Mark seems to be confused. On the one hand, he's just a ridiculously intense Dallas Mavericks fan. On the other, HE'S THE OWNER.
You can't behave like a tweener that just had her Justin Beiber poster taken away when you are the owner of a franchise and insist on sitting with the team. What is that? Why is everyone just okay with Cuban demanding his way onto the bench just to pout the entire fourth quarter. He could at least act mature, even if he immaturely insists on sitting with the team. Why is ESPN not poking fun of him? They scan the bench and his big, disheveled head sticks out like my proverbial hand gun would with a group of Democrats. This would never have gone unnoticed if Bill Simmons were still alive.
If you're going to bring guns up, I'll broach the subject. Geeze, why do you need to randomly interject guns into every conversation we have, anyways? To be honest, nothing would give me more joy than siding with the NRA. I always love to stick it to my liberal Dartmouth buddies whenever possible. Unfortunately, even with the use of FARS, I can't come up with a persuasive argument as to why I need to shoot 100 rounds in 35 seconds. In fact, as a hunter, I think the government hasn't gone far enough. In my opinion. every gun should only hold one bullet or shell. Now that would make hunting stories impressive every time. "Wait, the 16 pointer was walking away from you, 300 yards away, you whistled, took one shot and dropped it? You purposely aimed 6 feet above the animal? I know you are telling the truth because the government only allows us a single shot. Next round on me."
As far as the game goes, I'm pretty sure the Spurs are going to blow the Mavericks out. As was established, Dallas is an awful city and deserves to lose. The Spurs are just finding their stride. 11 wins from now, this game will simply be the fifth of many, (or to be specific, the fifth of 11 straight). The Spurs are finally healthy and ready to really show the NBA what team basketball is all about.
Dallas Maverick's perspective can be found here: Mavsmoneyball
Game Prediction: Spurs by 25. Vegas says Spurs by 5.5.
Game Previewers Prediction Records & points off per prediction
Wes Thorne 9-1* (-1, 0, 23, 2, -8*,1, 28, 10, 0, 2) *@MIA
Joe deLarios 6-2 (-1, 3, 5, 0, 1, 6,-11, -3)
Fred 2-2 (3, -8, 20)
Racm 2-3 (-25, -14, -5, 15, 12)
Stijl 1-1 (-12, 11)
CapHill 1-0 (13)