Soobum Im-US PRESSWIRE
The AT&T Center welcomes the Memphis Grizzlies.
San Antonio Spurs vs Memphis GrizzliesThe AT&T Center
December 1st, 7:30 PM
TV: SPSO,KENS - RADIO: 1200 AM WOAI
Consider the recent Eastern road trip a success. The only loss came against the Miami Heat and we all understand how that happened. If you are new to the Spurs, Gregg Popovich decided to rest Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Danny Green. In a designated blowout, the Spurs' bench held their own and ended up losing by only five points.
The Spurs' bench took on a team that was constructed to be a championship factory built to drain every ounce of suspense from the game of basketball. In the end, the Spurs showed the league that the importance of the health and safety of its players is more important than David Stern's desire for more money. Mad props to the coolest team in sports. Let us now talk about the Memphis Grizzlies, shall we?
Oh, well, hello Western Conference, how are you? It's been a while. How are things going? Who are we playing tonight? Oh, the Memphis Grizzlies? How are they doing so far this year? (Looks at the Grizzlies record.) Mother of God...
Can we please play some more Eastern Conference teams? David, I understand. You were a little tipsy off of some wine coolers and made a rash comment. Once you sobered up, you realized what you had done. There was no going back, thus the $250,000 fine. It's your bad and we all know it. So, how about you give us more Eastern Conference teams to play? Are the Wizards busy tonight? (Checks the NBA rule book.) As it turns out, the NBA schedule cannot be changed. (Except if the Lakers were to ask. The Lakers can do whatever they want.) So, here are members of the 2012 Memphis Grizzlies compared to things that are scary.
Marc Gasol is Jason Voorhees.
Jason is a prototypical post player. He is a one trick pony, but he is really good at that one trick. His size alone makes him a nightmare on the defensive end. Jason can’t shoot a gun, let alone handle a bow and arrow. So he relies on getting obscenely close. He is slow like most post players. Sometimes, he has a horrible game. ("Jason Takes Manhattan" anyone?) In fact, he is really not all that dangerous unless you are a clueless and horny teenager visiting the beautiful Camp Crystal Lake. Seriously, you can see him coming from a mile away, and he can barely move his arms. Plus, he even has an annoying soundtrack that follows him everywhere he goes. All you have to do is exploit his weaknesses and take him down from far away. The problem is that this team isn't like the movies, where Jason does it all alone. This time, Jason has friends and the combination could be deadly...
Rudy Gay is lightning.
Lightning seemingly comes from nowhere, and is pretty unstoppable once it hits. It can strike anybody, and is particularly devastating against tall people. Sometimes, lightning doesn't show up. But these days, lightning has been showing up a lot for the Grizzlies. There are even some people saying that lightning could be on the All-Star team this year. The only way around lightning is to be an unbelievable defensive player. One so skilled that they have the ability to predict where lightning is going to hit. (What's up Kawhi?)
Tony Allen is a knight (chess).
In chess, the knight is smooth and strikes in a unique way. Sometimes the knight has absolutely no effect on the game, but other times the knight is the MVP. For their sneakiness alone, knights are worth paying attention to.
Zach Randolph is malware.
Malware is tricky. Usually, it is not all that damaging. Sometimes, it is just annoying. However, given the right circumstances, it can lead to the blue screen of death. And what is scarier than that? The Spurs experienced the full extent of the destructive power of malware in the 2011 playoffs. It looked like everything was running smoothly, and suddenly, the Spurs were shut down by Mr. Malware.
The existential crisis that is the blue screen of death was upon the Spurs. When malware hits hard, there are three solutions. The first is to pay loads of money on repairs and anti-virus software. (i.e. What the Lakers do.)
The second way is to abandon the computer completely, sell whatever is salvageable, and then hope that your new computer is totally awesome. (i.e. What the Hornets did.)
And then there is the third way. Most people say it is crazy, but whatever. Malware is designed to attack the two most common operating systems. ( Windows and OS X.)
Enter Linux, an alternate operating system that no one uses because it is weird and is never on TV. Linux never sold out and is free. I hate everything else, but I digress. Malware can’t work its malignant magic when the Spurs are running Linux. These days, it is taking the Spurs awhile to boot their particular Linux distro, which has been a problem. However when the system is running at full speed, the Spurs are practically invulnerable to malware.
The rest of the team: Non lethal Jellyfishes
Sure, a mass of jellyfishes can be intimidating. But really... they are just jellyfish, (and not even the scary kind), so swim around them or put on a wet-suit.
The Grizzlies are currently playing excellent basketball. However, the Spurs are as well. So, look for this to be a tight game. Both teams will play the game in their own unique way. In the end, San Antonio will move the ball so well that their assists dominate Memphis into submission.
The Memphis Grizzlies perspective can be found here: Straight Outta Vancouver
Game Prediction: Spurs by 3. Vegas says Spurs by 5.
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Game Previewers Prediction Records & how many points off per prediction
Joe deLarios 5-0 (-1, 3, 5, 0, 1)
Wes Thorne 4-1* (-1, 0, 23, 2, -8*) *@MIA
Racm 1-3 (-25, -14, -5, 15)
Stijl 1-1 (-12, 11)
CapHill 1-0 (13)
As always Tony must dominate Fisher, and NBA league pass is recommended for those who are willing to pony up the cash. Almost every Spurs game will be broadcast there, which is especially helpful for those of us who aren't in the San Antonio area. Please don't post links to illegal game feeds in the game thread. Links to illegal feeds are not permitted on SBNation, but you can probably find them out there on the internets if you're resourceful and desperate.