FanPost

Top 5 Reasons Why Memphis Will Win the Chip


It's been a while since I last created a fanpost, but with little to do, I decided to send my incredibly unbiased and undeniably intelligent thoughts out there for people to accept as absolute truth.

Here are my top five reasons why the Memphis Grizzlies will win the NBA championship this year.

Disclaimer: I haven't really watched the NBA since the Spurs were bounced. (Or did it really happen? Was it not just a dream playing with my consciousness? Did it not happen in an alternate universe?)

Okay, I haven't watched a single NBA game since San Antonio's first round exit. (Or did it really happen? Was it not just a dream playing with my consciousness? Did it not happen in an alternate universe?)

After seeing how many "experts" write about the NBA without feeling the need to, you know, watch games, I am confident that I am in a pretty good position to offer my scientific theory.

1. They beat the Spurs.

The Memphis Grizzlies will win the Larry O'Brien Trophy this year because they were able to beat the Spurs. The Spurs were the best team in the league for most of the regular season. Since the Griz beat the Spurs in six games, it means they can beat any other team in six games or less. Or more.

Also, this way, if the Grizzlies win the championship, Spurs fans can brag that the only reason San Antonio lost is because they lost to the eventual champs.

2. That was it, really.

I'm out of reasons why. But if you have more reasons, or if you can prove that Memphis won't win the championship, then feel free to educate me. Not that I'll listen to you, because my word is the first and last word concerning the matter.

Anyway, I don't watch the NBA anymore. It's for kids. People who believe in Santa Claus, and the Loch Ness monster, and cheap gas, and an All-Star Caliber Richard Jefferson. NBA? More like N.I.A. Not Interested Anymore.

Well, at least until the offseason--which is after, you know, Memphis wins the championship.

3.

4.

5.

Blah blah blah

So this was my Top 5 reasons Top 1 reason only reason why the Memphis Grizzlies will win the NBA championship this year. Yeah, I only have one. Deal with it.

Numbers are so overrated. They don't mean anything anyway. You know, like the number 1 seed. (And the number 2 seed, mind you.)

#bitter

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