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Lebron's One-Hour Special, "THE Decision" Recap

The one-hour special is tomorrow, but why wait till it airs to give a recap?  I think I know how this is going to play out.

Possibility #1

Wow, that was incredible.  Fifty minutes of Lebron highlights followed by an excruciating 10 minutes of the guy gushing about his love for Cleveland.  The Cavs' roster still sucks and they have no cap room.  They will try to make a trade happen, but come on.  They will be forever mediocre.  Lebron staying in Cleveland does absolutely no harm to the Spurs.  If they somehow manage to get through the brutal East, and we get through the suddenly less loaded West, I love our chances as much as Lebron loves himself.  But regardless, how vain is this guy, anyway?  A one-hour special?  And all he says is what we all have been thinking for 2 years?  What a dick.

Possibility #2

Wow, that was incredible.  Fifty minutes of Lebron highlights followed by 10 excruciating minutes as he ripped out the hearts of everyone in Cleveland on national TV.  So, he decided to team up with Wade and Bosh, eh?  They still require five men on the floor at all times, right?  Barring David Stern making the playoffs a 3 on 3 Roundball Ruckus Tourney, which I wouldn't bet against, the Heat will have 3 stars that can't shoot, with a bench made of minimum salary players.  So, we pack the paint and dare Lebron and Wade to shoot threes, (and you know their egos will force them to take it every time.)  Sounds like a solid game plan.  We'll play zone.  Done and done.  Bring it.  But I digress, did Lebron really just host his own hour long prime-time special to destroy the hopes and dreams of his home state?  What a dick.

Possibility #3

Wow, that was incredible.  Fifty minutes of Lebron highlights followed by 10 excruciating minutes in which he attempted to convince Ohio that he still loves them, but is going to play for the Knicks.  Um, that was awkward.  The Knicks have David Lee, Gallinari, and A'ma'r'e.  Sounds like a sound defensive unit, right?  Oh, and their coach is Mike D'Antoni.  The man is a defensive genius.  Oh wait, that's not right.  Well, at least defense doesn't win championships.  Also, did Lebron really just make the nation watch him brutally beat Ohio into a state of severe depression?  What's wrong with this guy?  What a dick.

Possibility #4

Wow, that was incredible.  Fifty minutes of Lebron highlights followed by 10 excruciating minutes in which he tied Ohio to a chair, played "Stuck in the Middle with You," and went to work Reservoir Dogs style.  I feel empty inside.  For the Spurs, this sucks, somewhat.  This was the best team Lebron could have joined.  They have a star point guard in Rose, hard working Noah down low, and Deng to trade.  This could be a real team if they add a shooter and one more big.  Yuck, this night was horrible.  While we are on 'horrible,' what is wrong with Lebron?  What in the hell is going on in his mind?  Did he think this hour long special was going to make people like him more?  Like his 'brand?'  Win a ring, then we'll talk 'brand.'  What kind of warped world does he live in?  What a dick.
UPDATE: The Bulls just signed Boozer and apparently still have enough cap room leftover to sign Lebron.  Even if they do not get Lebron, this team is very scary if they get a guy like Ray Allen instead.  In other news, Lebron is still a dick.

Possibility #5

Wow, that was incredible.  Fifty minutes of Lebron highlights followed by 10 excruciating minutes in which he declared that the Internet was over.  Apparently, the Internet is like MTV and while it was once hip, it is now outdated.  He also said that filling your head with numbers cannot be good for you.  Uh oh, BlaseE, you are screwed.  I knew Lebron was crazy.  Oh, in the 59th minute he said he was joining the Nets and applying for Russian citizenship because Mikhail offered him 1 billion dollars.  Good for him, but what a dick. 

This is fan-created content on PoundingtheRock.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at Pounding the Rock.

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