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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

'Twas the Night Before Playoffs

‘Twas the night before Playoffs, and all through The League,

Not a player could sleep, except for Tim D.

The arena was glowing, a thrill filled the air,

In the hopes that the Finals would soon be played there.

Star-divide

Popovich was nestled all snug in his bed,

while nightmares of sangria ran through his head.

And Chip, his brain full of shooting tricks and tips,

Was dreaming of free throws winning the championship.

 

When inside the Center there arose such a clatter,

The Coyote sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

He ran to the locker room, saw a light under the door,

Heard voices whispering and shoes scuffing the floor.

 

Although the exit sign emitted a steady red glow,

The mascot could barely see through the door's tiny window.

When, with huge disbelieving eyes, what should he see,

But David Stern, Esquire, and three wizened referees.

 

The Commish had dispensed with his usual charm and slick,

And The Coyote wondered why he felt so queasy and sick.

Faster than vultures, Mr. Stern's companions they came,

As he whispered and coaxed them and called them by name.

 

"Now Joey, now Bennett, and you too, Bavetta,

Now's the time, gentlemen, to satisfy your vendettas.

The Spurs are immune to your threats and ejections.

But can they recover from expert rejection?"

 

The intruders scattered small slips of paper like leaves,

Media critiques ending in "Ya right" and "Oh, please."

Round and round the room they continued to litter,

Unable to contain snarls, men oh-so-bitter.

 

And then in an instant they melted through the walls,

Having heard several voices approach from the hall.

As the Coyote's head was still spinning around,

Tim, Tony and Manu entered the room with a bound.

 

Dressed in all white, from their heads to their knees,

The Big 3 looked down and saw the spread-out debris.

All of a sudden, Manu fell down on his back,

Laughing so hard, he hit the floor with a thwack.

 

As Timmeh looked about, his eyes all a twinkling,

Tony just sat there, then had a sudden inkling.

A smile broke out, tilted to just the one side,

He shook his head, saying "Can't believe what they tried."

 

Timmeh quickly decided, right then and right there,

To make sure the rest of the Spurs knew who had been where.

He smiled brightly and turned to Tony and Manu,

"You know what this means and what we now have to do."

 

The Man with No Swagger stared intent at Tim's face,

"We have to tear through the Playoffs and bring them disgrace."

The three of them huddled, spoke in really low voices,

Planning and scheming, ignoring all other noises.

 

Pop walked into the room and took one look around,

Observed his star players and knew what they had found.

"I guess I won't need to play mind games this year;

It's the rest of the League that should tremble in fear."

 

As all the other Spurs wandered in and sat down,

Pop addressed the whole team, without his usual frown.

"For those who don't know, Playoffs are all about will,

And if that's not enough, we have George Jesse Hill."

 

Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, whose genius I cannot begin to approximate.  Also, many thanks to Lauri and jrw for the extremely helpful edits and comments, even if I didn't incorporate them all.

Comment 46 comments  |  21 recs  | 

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Thanks CapHill…& thanks PTR for being such a rich fansite …love it!

by spursfan_needs_counseling on Apr 16, 2010 10:55 PM CDT reply actions  

I love it! Thanks Caphill, a great start for the playoffs.

Going for "50"

by Nlclove on Apr 16, 2010 10:57 PM CDT reply actions  

I’ll rec it.

"We'll see how our character is," guard Tony Parker said. "We don't have time to be sad. Nobody cares. It's just us. We're the only ones who can help each other."

by Josh Guyer (completely deck) on Apr 16, 2010 11:01 PM CDT reply actions  

if i could rec it more than once, i’d still be clicking the button. awesome work

Rim Rockin' Red Rocket -silverandblack_davis

by SpursfanSteve on Apr 16, 2010 11:05 PM CDT reply actions  

Well, I simply cannot compete with the quality of posts being written today. I will have to delay My Dog Is Rather Long until things go back to mediocrity.

Caps off to you!. (HAHAHAHAHAHA, Get it?)

I did a lot of soul searching. I didn't find anything.

by Hipuks on Apr 16, 2010 11:06 PM CDT reply actions  

Just you wait… the series preview is going to be ummm, different.

TGIF [Thank Ginobili it's Friday]

by Tim C. on Apr 16, 2010 11:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

So what you’re saying is I should pretty much give up?

I did a lot of soul searching. I didn't find anything.

by Hipuks on Apr 16, 2010 11:31 PM CDT up reply actions  

There’ll be plenty of time between game 1 and 2

REVENGE!

by Tim C. on Apr 17, 2010 7:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

That’s when we’re shooting to release … something else.

5 in 10
o;—-)

by J.R. Wilco on Apr 18, 2010 2:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

TWSS.

I did a lot of soul searching. I didn't find anything.

by Hipuks on Apr 18, 2010 3:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

I don’t believe you.

REVENGE!

by Tim C. on Apr 18, 2010 11:31 AM CDT up reply actions  

Your doubt has been duly noted, and you’ll soon know what I mean.

Perspective is necessary before griping is appropriate.
o;—-)

by J.R. Wilco on Apr 19, 2010 5:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

This is awesome. Love the ending, and I can’t believe (well, actually, I can) that Manu flopped. =p

He's Manu Ginobili

by carina_gino20 on Apr 16, 2010 11:28 PM CDT reply actions  

Oh my goodness Cap! Really, excellent job by all!

by Ed (dfjmed) on Apr 17, 2010 12:03 AM CDT reply actions  

Wow, Cap, this is truly otstanding. I love you guys for making this site possible.

I smell death... everywhere.

by LatinD on Apr 17, 2010 12:14 AM CDT reply actions  

Magnifique, C-Hill. Can’t wait for this chit to start.

Just cause we're crippled, don't mean we gotta take the crumbs.

by silverandblack_davis on Apr 17, 2010 12:51 AM CDT reply actions  

This is great, wow!

"The Most Interesting Man in the World" wishes he were Manu Ginobili. - janieannie

by Bakkie009 on Apr 17, 2010 4:56 AM CDT reply actions  

I love this site.

"What is this new devilry?" -Jeff Van Gundy

by DrumsInTheDeep on Apr 17, 2010 7:45 AM CDT reply actions  

What a great way to start a day! Thanks

by Spurlady on Apr 17, 2010 8:14 AM CDT reply actions  

this is the worst thing i’ve ever read on ptr.

free malik hairston!
perth wildcats - 2009/2010 nbl champions baby!

by sleep research facility on Apr 17, 2010 8:22 AM CDT reply actions  

Did you forget the sarcasm smiley? ;)

Honestly. You kids today, with your hippity-hop music and your Twiddle. - Lauri

by p2cat on Apr 17, 2010 10:08 AM CDT up reply actions  

reccd – sweet!

"Mr. Gilmore deserves to be in the Basketball Hall of Fame damnit. Highest field goal percentage EVER"

http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/g/gilmoar01.html

by Joe deLarios on Apr 17, 2010 8:31 AM CDT reply actions  

BRAVO!

Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. ~ CMoney
I am happy. I am proud. ~ Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Apr 17, 2010 8:34 AM CDT reply actions  

Pure genius!

"Ginobili. . .He's weaving, he's throwing up triple axels in sneakers, he's willing the ball into the basket. It's Cirque du Soleil with refs." Dan Oshinsky / KENS 5

by janieannie on Apr 17, 2010 9:09 AM CDT reply actions  

Loved it. Only in PTR.

by Edg5 on Apr 17, 2010 9:49 AM CDT reply actions  

FANtastic, Cap! Someone should tweet this to Manu;)

Honestly. You kids today, with your hippity-hop music and your Twiddle. - Lauri

by p2cat on Apr 17, 2010 10:07 AM CDT reply actions  

This was stellar. It made me feel inadequate, like most awesome things do.

by Cedarpark on Apr 17, 2010 10:12 AM CDT reply actions  

Thanks everyone, but from the master of the Utterly Random, this is high praise indeed.

by CapHill on Apr 17, 2010 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions  

Masterfully done!!!! Damn, I wish I was that creative :P

"You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas." -Davy Crockett
"Give me an army of West Point graduates, and I'll win a battle. Give me a handful of Texas Aggies, and I'll win a war." -Gen. George S. Patton

by Trey Felder on Apr 17, 2010 10:20 AM CDT reply actions  

Thank you so much for this, I love it.

GTFOML!

by the little o on Apr 17, 2010 11:01 AM CDT reply actions  

+1

"He was just a young skinny guy who looked like a winner. We didn’t know he was going to be as good as he is."
—Popovich on Manu Ginobili

by spursfan87 on Apr 17, 2010 11:27 AM CDT reply actions  

What’d I tell you! Great stuff.

I have flying monkeys at my disposal, and I'm not afraid to use them.

by Lauri on Apr 17, 2010 11:37 AM CDT reply actions  

You’ve outdone yourself. Again. I read this twice.

Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed.

by CMoney on Apr 17, 2010 1:21 PM CDT reply actions  

I wanted to spam rec this so hard.

It’s posts like these and many others that make it so fun for me to contribute to PtR.

...!!

by transgojobot on Apr 17, 2010 1:47 PM CDT reply actions  

Simply marvelous! Great work Cap!

I'm not saying something is wrong, but something isn't right.

by SinCitySpur on Apr 17, 2010 2:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Awesome! Had a lot of fun reading this.

I’m pretty psyched for tomorrow.

Go Spurs!

by M3D1T8R on Apr 17, 2010 11:35 PM CDT reply actions  

Cap, you deserve all the kudos that we silly mortals can bestow.

Will somebody get this on SBN’s frontpage already? It’s certainly better than a pic of Sasha V’s ankle.

5 in 10
o;—-)

by J.R. Wilco on Apr 18, 2010 2:22 AM CDT reply actions  

Yeah dude, what the hell. Even SBNation treats the Spurs like those other media outfits.

Just cause we're crippled, don't mean we gotta take the crumbs.

by silverandblack_davis on Apr 20, 2010 2:08 AM CDT up reply actions  

::worship::

::adulation::

I have flying monkeys at my disposal, and I'm not afraid to use them.

by Lauri on Apr 18, 2010 12:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

You guys flatter me for no reason. I only try to do justice to CapHill’s masterpiece.

by LionZion on Apr 20, 2010 12:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

awsomeness.

Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. ~ CMoney
I am happy. I am proud. ~ Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Apr 18, 2010 1:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Nice. And I’ll actually rec you.

REVENGE!

by Tim C. on Apr 19, 2010 2:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bravo.

Just cause we're crippled, don't mean we gotta take the crumbs.

by silverandblack_davis on Apr 20, 2010 2:09 AM CDT up reply actions  

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