FanPost

Product Treatment: Pop Juice


 

Feeling good about you today?  Is all right with the free world?  Remedy that rainbow in your gullet by gulping an ice cold Pop-Juice: your ultimate drink when you need a cold hard dash of cautious pessimism. 

 

Testimonial from summer league, youth basketball coach:

 

"I once was content with letting my 4th graders play the game willy-nilly.  Fun was my goal.  That was before my wife brought home a case of Pop-Juice."  (Camera pans out to the court, revealing a group of youngsters learning the baseline lure technique.  On their faces there is only pain and the promise of future regret.) 

 

Pop-Juice is fortified not with the vitamins and alternative medicine ingredients most energy drinks contain.  Pop Juice has a special blend with the tears of a killer whale, the sadness of Carl Malone, and shaved micro fibers off of Pop's life long collection of note cards. 

 

An endorsement from Pop:

 

"…" (Stares at camera.) 

 

-------

EXT SCENE:

 

(Camera pans to a bouncy college co-ed, looking to go to her first sorority initiation meeting.  She reaches over in her console, takes a swig of Pop-Juice, and then furrows her brown in self-reflection.  She busts a U-turn, picks up her world history 1850- text, and begins studying.)

 

Tag line: "Pop Juice!  Let the good times roll to a stop!  And get to work."

Or: "It's not the taste, it's the consistancy." 


This is fan-created content on PoundingtheRock.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at Pounding the Rock.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Pounding The Rock

You must be a member of Pounding The Rock to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pounding The Rock. You should read them.

Join Pounding The Rock

You must be a member of Pounding The Rock to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pounding The Rock. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker