Product Treatment: Pop Juice

Feeling good about you today?  Is all right with the free world?  Remedy that rainbow in your gullet by gulping an ice cold Pop-Juice: your ultimate drink when you need a cold hard dash of cautious pessimism. 

Testimonial from summer league, youth basketball coach:

"I once was content with letting my 4th graders play the game willy-nilly.  Fun was my goal.  That was before my wife brought home a case of Pop-Juice."  (Camera pans out to the court, revealing a group of youngsters learning the baseline lure technique.  On their faces there is only pain and the promise of future regret.) 

Pop-Juice is fortified not with the vitamins and alternative medicine ingredients most energy drinks contain.  Pop Juice has a special blend with the tears of a killer whale, the sadness of Carl Malone, and shaved micro fibers off of Pop's life long collection of note cards. 

An endorsement from Pop:

"…" (Stares at camera.) 

-------

EXT SCENE:

(Camera pans to a bouncy college co-ed, looking to go to her first sorority initiation meeting.  She reaches over in her console, takes a swig of Pop-Juice, and then furrows her brown in self-reflection.  She busts a U-turn, picks up her world history 1850- text, and begins studying.)

Tag line: "Pop Juice!  Let the good times roll to a stop!  And get to work."

Or: "It's not the taste, it's the consistancy."