Feeling good about you today? Is all right with the free world? Remedy that rainbow in your gullet by gulping an ice cold Pop-Juice: your ultimate drink when you need a cold hard dash of cautious pessimism.
Testimonial from summer league, youth basketball coach:
"I once was content with letting my 4th graders play the game willy-nilly. Fun was my goal. That was before my wife brought home a case of Pop-Juice." (Camera pans out to the court, revealing a group of youngsters learning the baseline lure technique. On their faces there is only pain and the promise of future regret.)
Pop-Juice is fortified not with the vitamins and alternative medicine ingredients most energy drinks contain. Pop Juice has a special blend with the tears of a killer whale, the sadness of Carl Malone, and shaved micro fibers off of Pop's life long collection of note cards.
An endorsement from Pop:
"…" (Stares at camera.)
(Camera pans to a bouncy college co-ed, looking to go to her first sorority initiation meeting. She reaches over in her console, takes a swig of Pop-Juice, and then furrows her brown in self-reflection. She busts a U-turn, picks up her world history 1850- text, and begins studying.)
Tag line: "Pop Juice! Let the good times roll to a stop! And get to work."
Or: "It's not the taste, it's the consistancy."