FanPost

Kevin Garnett to retire from basketball


Kevin Garnett, center for the Boston Celtics basketball team, announced today that he is going to retire from basketball and become a monk. He says he made his decision during Sunday's game against the San Antonio Spurs.  "The game, and the world as a whole, just does not make sense to me anymore" said the 6 ft 11 inch center. "I was feeling pretty good, limiting Tim [the opposing center on the Spurs], moving around and generally roaring at people. Then Matt Bonner [another Spurs player] turned my world upside down. He penetrated inside the paint and simply demolished me inside – I did not stand a chance against him in the paint. That's when I realized that my view of the world was completely false and that I was living a lie".

Garnett reportedly went straight to his head coach and asked to be released then and there, but Coach Rivers persuaded him to stay through the rest of the game. However, it was obvious that his heart was just not in it, and of course the rest of the Celtics followed their captain's lead.

Garnett plans to seclude himself from the world and meditate until he once again feels at one with the universe. His preference is to become a monk but the sticking point is the vow of silence that most monks are required to take. Garnett prefers to meditate using more modern techniques such as "roaring" and "pounding chest" and is looking for a more contemporary monastery that resonates with his beliefs.

Coach Rivers hopes to convince the aging center to play out the rest of the season but says he will support Garnett's decision whenever the time comes.

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