Guide to KA1Z3R's Mojo: When I Bring This, This Happens

Welcome all, time for another trip to the world of the bizarre. That's right, you're reading a KA1Z3R fanpost. The sheer wtf-factor that's about to follow actually has a purpose this time (KA1Z3R posting with purpose? How preposterously peculiar). It's official, I'm some kind of mojo master. I've found out the secrets to my mojo magics, and feel I should give you a guide to understand if what I'm bringing is good or bad.


But KA1Z3R, as a Spurs fan, don't you want all your mojo to be good? some extent. While mojo is an influence on luck, and can greatly determine a game (at least to us superstitious PtR faithful), sometimes I like to mix it up just to mess with you all. The majority of the time I bring good vibes, and inspire a positive mojo.


So without further ado, here is your guide to KA1Z3R's mojo (set to some of the best hip-hop ever)



1. My presence-

Just my presence in a game thread starts things off with good mojo. With me in the threads, the Spurs are undefeated. Now while I have not been in every thread that was a win, all of the games I've been in have been wins. And one of the games I was not in, the Spurs lost. Their only loss thus far. I didn't know of my mojo powers then, but I think it's been adequately tested by the tough games of Orlando and our most recent game against the T-Wolves (I almost didn't attend, maybe a sign that i always should)


Now I won't toot my own horn (first time for everything), I gotta say that makes me kind of a big deal when in game threads. So while I post random and absurd things (gonna stop with random images), you'll have to bear with me as best you can. I don't dare to deviate from what's been working.






2. Iron Maiden-

Listening to Iron Maiden appears to be the best source of good mojo. When I'm cranking the Iron, things go awesomely for San Antonio. Mainly with the song, Flight of Icarus. It seems that every time i play this song, Manu does something awesome. From nailing a three, to making a steal, to some ungodly spinning and ice dance look-alike layup.


So if I say that I'm playing Iron Maiden, you can expect good things. I strongly encourage my PtR brethren and sistren(?) to click any links I post that are Iron Maiden songs. We must unite and up the irons as one to the glorious sight of Manu slithering through the defense like a snake en route to a spectacular display of sheer awesome.



3. Ruben Studdard-

If you've been in game threads, you'll know that I love to spread the Ruben love (to clarify I don't like Ruben Studdard, quite frankly I hate his music, but it's one of the best things ever to link for sheer annoyance purposes).


But why do this? Well at first it was just to get some laughs and awkward looks. However, I have discovered Ruben to be a wild mojo child. You never know what you're gonna get. I first believed Ruben to be bad mojo. During the Orlando game, things were pretty deadlocked and good things were coming about with Iron Maiden. So I posted a link to Ruben Studdard to get some of you who actually read my posts (I'll admit, for your safety, it's better I'm ignored at times lol), to laugh and be like wtf?


However, doing so caused some bad mojo as things started getting bad. I returned to Iron Maiden. However, I soon started Ruben again to see if it was, in fact, bad mojo. Yet this time it brought good things. I tried the same thing at various intervals to test the results.


Conclusion: Ruben Studdard is both good and bad mojo. It's just a tossup as to which he brings. I went Ruben-heavy (would be scary if I was actually as heavy as Ruben), in the Minnesota game and can conclude that he won us that game. First couple times he brought horrible things. But I think he had a delayed effect. Did Ruben decide to bring good things late so we could win? I leave that up to you children (ironic as i am probably one of the top-3 youngest people on here, if not the youngest)


If Ruben enters the game thread, be prepared for anything.



4. Sunkist-


Once again I have to say this is like Ruben, being a wild child, toss of the coin mojo bringer. Good and bad have come from Sunkist images. I will say that the majority is good, while others has been horribly bad (I believe to have made the slow start in the T-Wolves game).


Take Sunkist for what it is. Sweet and delicious, though in too high of doses could bring on some horrible belching pains (well worth it when actually drinking Sunkist)




5. Star Wars references-

Powerful the Force is. It surrounds us, binds us, penetrates us, and unites the universe. If I make a Star Wars reference to any game, Spurs or not, it will go in my favor. I made Star Wars references in the Cavs game (only one I believe), a couple in Orlando game, and several in the T-Wolves game. All were wins in the end.


That's Spurs games, but for its effect on any game in the league, look at last night's Heat versus Orlando game (aka Empire versus Lando) The Heat had their Death Star destroyed by Lando's shooting. So far, Star Wars referencing has been 100% effective. If I'm posting a line of witty Star Wars banter, it doesn't just mean that I'm a nerd (aren't we all?), it means that good things are on their way.




That's all for now folks. Look for possible reposts of this should new mojo trends of mine be discovered. You can now feel free to unstrap your safety harness and slowly exit the ride. You survived my rollercoaster ride of the bizarre and wacky and, dare I say, zany. Now you can properly brace yourself for whatever I throw at you. Relax, play, and drink Sunkist.

This is fan-created content on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at Pounding the Rock.

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