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by Rand on Jul 31, 2009 8:35 AM CDT
52 comments
BSAT-time, folks. For purposes of this test, all players 6'10" and taller will be referred to as 'seven footers', because people do that for some reason and because it makes this sound even cooler:
1) What is:
(A) A list of five guys who we either didn't own or barely used last year.
(B) A list of five guys who have at least a semi-fighting chance of cracking the regular rotation on an elite NBA team.
(C) A list of five guys who, if they were used as a second unit, would not only be fairly middle-of-the-pack among actual NBA second units - they would be the BIGGEST second unit in the NBA.
Seriously. I mean, I know we love small-ball, but it's not unrealistic to think that we could have these exact five players on the court during garbage time this season. Think about what that would look like:
C - Athletic seven-footer
PF - Wily seven-footer with mad shot-blocking skillz and Youngevity(tm)
SF - Athletic seven-footer who, if his YouTube mixes don't lie (and they never do), could block the shuttle launch ... with his fist.
SG - Will have twelve inches on his generic matchup ... of biceps girth. Hairston's stupid-strong, and if not over-tall he's certainly not short for the position.
G - C'mon, it's Qbitz. Albatross. Long, strong, down to get the friction on.
These guys will bestride other teams' scrubs like a Colossus.
(D) All of the above.
---
In fact, now that I think about it, your 09-10 Spurs are a considerably bad-assier lot than any other recent incarnation. Sure, we lost Ime 'Might Have Killed A Man In Africa' Udoka, but think about what we added. Besides Mean-Punch Marcus, we've brought on:
- A guy who the most powerful human being on Earth described in hushed tones as 'a man' (as in, "Now that's a man")
- A guy who played a game after throwing up all night following surgery to repair a broken nose the previous day (and that's nowhere near the top of the 'Wow, Dice is tough' list)
- A guy who can occasionally dominate the paint despite being simultaneously French and made of glass
- A guy who left his bride sort-of at the altar so that he could devote every last ounce of energy to kicking ass and taking names in a Spurs jersey
The Spurs will be walking away with the Larry O'Brien trophy this year. Seriously, even if they don't win the championship, they're just gonna take the trophy and leave. Nobody will try to stop them.
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Nice post. I like the idea of having the biggest 2nd unit in the league.
by Big50 on Jul 31, 2009 9:17 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
our new team name
The Bad Asses of San Antone
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Jul 31, 2009 10:04 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
FYI
People from San Antonio generally dislike the nickname “San Antone.”
Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. --Andy Dufresne
by tomasito on Aug 2, 2009 6:57 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
oh
didn’t know that. sorry.
P.S. AMAZING SIGNATURE!!!! Shawshank Redemption is my favorite movie ever. (yes even more than V for Vendetta)
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Aug 2, 2009 10:05 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
So, is there a shortened version of San Antonio used by the natives?
My people call it "sarcasm." - Lauri
by CapHill on Aug 2, 2009 11:13 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Eh, only in internet speak… “SA”
As opposed to the short version of Phoenix: hell
Re-sign Bruce Bowen!
by Tim C. on Aug 2, 2009 12:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
GOR
giggle out roud
i’m asian.
13 points in 39 seconds. Enough said.
by Duhoh on Aug 4, 2009 12:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
giggre?
"If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert"
- DBG
by LasEspuelas on Aug 4, 2009 5:19 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
haha nice one
13 points in 39 seconds. Enough said.
by Duhoh on Aug 6, 2009 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you can say it quickly and blur some of the sounds, but it’s difficult to represent with letters and winds up sounding something like [SAN an TONE yuh]
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 2, 2009 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Man, I learn something here every frickin’ day. So [SAN an TONE yuh] is the local talking fast version. Do locals also do the full [SAN an TONE eee-yo] too? Or is that just for tourists?
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 2, 2009 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Like anywhere else, there are those who live in SA and speak in what would be considered by most outsiders to be a “normal” accent.
And now that I think about it again, it’s more like [SAN an TOE kneeyuh] with the “kneeyuh” as one syllable and the “knee” part of it quite subtle and almost not there. And of course, the “k” is silent. =]
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 2, 2009 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks for adding the “And of course, the "k" is silent” I would hate to make a fool of myself if I ever make it out to those parts.
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 2, 2009 3:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
By the way, that very much amused me but I didn’t want to use lol. But I didn’t really guffaw so I was kinda at a loss.
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 2, 2009 3:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You’re absolutely good with taking the prudent route and NOT typing GOL if you didn’t really experience an Audible Spontaneous Involuntary Response to humor.
ASIR?
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 2, 2009 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
See now I did chuckle out loud and I can’t decide if I should use GOL or ASIR. Although an ASIR seems to include more than just laughter. I was thinking about a burp (like from a particularly satisfying brewski). Then I realized there are others and decided to stop right there.
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 2, 2009 5:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The precedent is clear: if you want to type something short and acronym-ish, then GOL is available to you here at PtR. People know what it means and use it (as much as we can tell) only when they actually guffaw/laugh.
ASIR is brand new, as of this post, and so there no history with it. Feel free to treat it as you like.
Burps are definitely going to need to stay over at SS&R. Spurs fans do not burp.
But they do belch.
=]
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 2, 2009 8:50 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
what is ASIR?
"He's Manu Ginobili"
by the little o on Aug 2, 2009 9:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
It is a new PtRism. Just go to Jolly’s previous couple of responses. I could not describe it better than he.
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 3, 2009 1:03 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
ASIR, thanks olf. that’s a nice one.
"He's Manu Ginobili"
by the little o on Aug 3, 2009 3:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
ah belching
nothing more satisfying the sweet belch of a Sunkist. Except of course drinking it the first time. Sunkist should pay me to advertise on here.
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Aug 3, 2009 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I love how you like to pretend that they don’t.
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 3, 2009 11:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not to contradict JRW, but most of the people in SA are of Hispanic heritage. So in my experience you should say San Antonio with a nice Spanish twist in order to fit say it as the locals do. It helps to twist ones upper lip when trying this
by Big50 on Aug 3, 2009 11:12 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ah, of course. That makes perfect sense. And very comfortable for someone from L A. (I’ll have to think about the “twist one’s upper lip” part though.)
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 3, 2009 11:30 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow. I didn’t know it was so difficult to pronounce San Antonio. Good thing I live in Denver – that’s harder to screw up.
My people call it "sarcasm." - Lauri
by CapHill on Aug 3, 2009 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Indeed, San Antonio seems like a breeze to pronounce but I have to caution you about something else. I have been to IUPUI a number of times when I used to travel to Indy on business. (I used to use their fitness facilities.) But I never once heard anyone pronounce it ‘ooo-wee-poo-wee’ or whatever you all use. (Just a friendly note of caution should you ever find yourself in that part of the world.)
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 3, 2009 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don’t think that’s the term they (IUPUI) use, although it’s used frequently throughout Illinois and Indiana.
My people call it "sarcasm." - Lauri
by CapHill on Aug 3, 2009 3:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh hell. I figured it was just a PtR’ism that you guys made up as a goof. Like I said, I don’t remember anyone saying that to me when I was there. Of course if anyone did say ‘ooo-wee-poo-wee’ to me I doubt I would have associated it with the local university.
Haters beware: Kobe's drive for 5 starts now!-SLAM Magazine
by olf on Aug 3, 2009 3:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I thought someone here made it up as well, but I’m relatively new here.
by BlaseE on Aug 3, 2009 3:43 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Big50 is correct. The pronunciation that I had outlined is the Texan, non-Hispanic heritage version.
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 4, 2009 1:04 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
PF – Wily seven-footer with mad shot-blocking skillz and Youngevity™
you just had to bring that up.
Seriously, even if they don’t win the championship, they’re just gonna take the trophy and leave. Nobody will try to stop them.
i like the idea. that alone deserves a rec.
and yes, when i saw the post’s title, i was positive it was spam. ive had one too many of those in my junk mail. thank you very much.
by theonlyromeo on Jul 31, 2009 10:10 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
we could have these exact five players on the court during garbage time this season. Think about what that would look like
I don’t know if it will ever happen, but boy would it be fun to watch. I can just picture Pop smirking behind his beard (is he keeping the beard?). Oooh, he could put that line-up out on the floor for the tip-off of the first game of the season. It will be this year’s “Hack-a-Shaq” moment.
by Lauri on Jul 31, 2009 12:23 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
We lost 1000 points of bad-assness
by trading Crazy Eyes. Who on are team now is going to murder opponents and drop their dismembered corpses into the Pacific?
"Give me chonchon."
by Slowpoke Rodriguez on Jul 31, 2009 4:15 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Bonner is a little Dexter-ish. Maybe we should keep him around.
I used to be a c+x kind of guy, but nowadays I just go nuts with my z. - LatinD
Retire Bowen's #12!
by Tim C. on Jul 31, 2009 4:17 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I kind of hate to say this, but Timmeh is a LOT Dexter-ish (leaving obvious physical differences aside).
Think about it.
The unflappability . . . the eerie calm . . . the singular drive seething under that placid exterior . . .
Mmmm. The idea of TImmeh leaving a trail of carnage behind him in arenas across the nation this coming season makes me shiver with delight.
by Lauri on Jul 31, 2009 4:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great, yet another aspect in which the Lakers are better than us.
My tapeworm tells me what to do.
by Hipuks on Jul 31, 2009 7:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
More psychopaths?
Re-sign Bruce Bowen!
by Tim C. on Jul 31, 2009 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes. Put a redhead wig on Kobe and he’s Dexter himself, except not as charming, and without the whole moral code Dexter has.
My tapeworm tells me what to do.
by Hipuks on Jul 31, 2009 8:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think the craziness comes more from the top.
My people call it "sarcasm." - Lauri
by CapHill on Jul 31, 2009 7:54 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
GOL and recced to pop’s lawn.
"He's Manu Ginobili"
by the little o on Jul 31, 2009 8:53 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know, this is a good point about Timmy’s facade being better than Thomas. On the other hand, Thomas even tried to use his death stare on basketballs…
"Give me chonchon."
by Slowpoke Rodriguez on Jul 31, 2009 9:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
that basketball better watch out
he’s killed small children with that death stare and sent their mothers running.
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Jul 31, 2009 9:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you can see that it’s too scared of him to actually fall onto his face — I’d say he’s working it pretty well
5 in 10
I want my Manu o;—-)
by jollyrogerwilco on Aug 1, 2009 1:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
indeed
but if he was wearing his black and silver jersey instead of that purple and gray and orange abomination, he could scare the ball into going into the hoop.
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Aug 1, 2009 8:19 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
And another 1000 points of bad-assness by not resigning Ime.
We specialize in misinformation around here. Facts and stats just get in the way.
by Wayne Vore (ATS) on Aug 1, 2009 12:37 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
whose line is it anyways?
"He's Manu Ginobili"
by the little o on Aug 1, 2009 7:15 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I love that show!!!!
especially when they had Richard Simmons on there
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Aug 1, 2009 8:20 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Holy crap, I’m still laughing at that skit.
by xman130 on Aug 1, 2009 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know right
that’s like the greatest thing ever.
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too. You'll fire you musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack. You'd better stand there's no turning back"- "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden
by KA1Z3R on Aug 2, 2009 10:09 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
yeah, I remember watching that episode, that show is great. Ryan and Colin are awesome. The british version was pretty really good too.
"He's Manu Ginobili"
by the little o on Aug 1, 2009 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
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