CADTWNHMS #1

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 4:17 AM CDT

Crazy Arguments/Discussions That Would Never Happen Mid-Season #1

So I’ve got three different fanposts I've already begun about different topics that weren’t appropriate mid-season fodder, but today this topic started up and I was compelled to flesh it out.

Matching Mythological Characters to positions. Thanks to CapHill for the idea of this thread.

Hermes at the point: wings on feet=very speedy, distributes messages/dimes with ease

Achilles at the shooting guard: agile, very clutch, comfortable leading the attack

Loki = defensive specialist (trapping, deception) – gotta give a nod to Norse mythology too

Hercules at power forward: good with his back to the basket or facing up, quick hands, sees court well, great anticipation, cleans out a mean stable

Atlas at the five: if he can support the entire sky, then there’s no way you’re pushing him off the block – once he establishes position, you can forget about trying to defend him.

Prometheus as a bench player: great basketball IQ; terribly durable due to being able to instantly heal from any injury, always available for spot duty if anybody goes down with a torn ACL or turned ankle, or liver torn out by an eagle.

Ulysses in the Horry/Finley experienced vet who’s too old to play anymore role

Homer and Cyclops (post Ulysses) at the referees: first, they’re both blind; second, Ulysses and Cyclops would already have a Duncan/Crawford-level grudge in place.

So, who did I miss? Or do you have anybody that you think fits better?

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Trolls, Orcs, Minotaurs, Spinx’s, Hippogryphs, Sirens, Imps, Oompaloompas, Chupacabras?

Chupacabra is more of a coach though…never had the body to play like a Van Gundy or something

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My team might get infected with a case of Bourousis, but the Dr. says the symptoms are dunking, rebounding, and blocking with the side effect of spreading the floor.

by BlaseE on Jun 17, 2009 9:09 AM CDT reply actions

I could see a Minotaur as a 4, and the Sirens could potentially cheerlead if such a thing were mentionable/linkable on this site. But I don’t see much use for Imps, Chupacabras, Oompaloompas, etc. Except for perhaps a Sphinx — although there you have an issue with scale. How would you fit one into the gym?

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 10:04 AM CDT up reply actions

Oh “sphinxes”. I thought he was talking about Leon and Michael.

We specialize in misinformation around here. Facts and stats just get in the way.

by Wayne Vore (ATS) on Jun 17, 2009 10:45 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Sirens could draw the double team and call plays at the point at the same time….

by BlaseE on Jun 17, 2009 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

That’s truly BRILLIAN.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions

Chupacabra totally gets the JV’s role.

Free James Gist!
Pounding the Rock - where ochlocracy happens. Eat your heart out, California.

by Tim C. on Jun 17, 2009 10:54 AM CDT up reply actions

Wow, jolly, you’re…

Loved this one. Recced to Duncan’s thumb ring.

Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders

by LatinD on Jun 17, 2009 12:04 PM CDT reply actions

Thanks for running with the idea, jrw. I noticed you used mostly gods (and loved the refs), but I think I’d have to go with Bigfoot as our 5 – can you imagine an 8 ft, 500 lb hairy dude in the paint? He wouldn’t even have to jump to dunk the ball (not that Spurs dunk)!

by CapHill on Jun 17, 2009 2:29 PM CDT reply actions

I’m only 2 feet and 300 pounds short of being our starting center.

We specialize in misinformation around here. Facts and stats just get in the way.

by Wayne Vore (ATS) on Jun 17, 2009 2:42 PM CDT up reply actions

guess you’d better keep eating, then

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 3:15 PM CDT up reply actions

pack on the pounds

and maybe grow a bit because a six ft center is pretty short.

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jun 19, 2009 9:11 AM CDT up reply actions

Good thinking, CapHill. I wonder about Bigfoot’s agility, though. Sure he’d control a good deal of the paint with his gargantuan wingspan, but I’m concerned that if he wasn’t light on his (big) feet, that he’d just get repeatedly posterized like Yao does. I also wonder about his ability to learn the Spurs defensive system. Can you imagine the growling that’d go on once Pop lit into him for a missed rotation? And then there are the noises that Bigfoot would be making!

I must admit, though, that seeing that big furball in a Spurs jersey would be a kick. No worries about who would step up to be our enforcer if Sasquatch was on the roster.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions

If he sucked at free throws, [drum roll....]

Hack-a-Sasq?

by BlaseE on Jun 17, 2009 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

I knew someone would think of that

I was going to post that but I see you beat me to it. rec’d

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jun 19, 2009 9:12 AM CDT up reply actions

Yes! Especially at the beginning of the 1st quarter of the 1st game of the year.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 4:28 PM CDT reply actions

that was supposed to be a reply to your H-a-S, Blase

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 17, 2009 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions

Achilles is also leader of the myrmidons (sp?) which are especially good at team defense

weakness: ankle (I know its Achilles heel but the Achilles tendon is more the ankle)

by BlaseE on Jun 17, 2009 5:23 PM CDT reply actions

Conclusion: Manu Ginobili’s ankle is to Achilles’ heel, therefore, Manu is the modern-day Achilles, a basketball god who has a wee-bit of weakness.

The Roleplayer's Realm

by silverandblack_davis on Jun 17, 2009 7:37 PM CDT up reply actions

a wee-bit of weakness

which keeps him out of the playoffs and crushes my hopes and dreams.

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jun 19, 2009 9:13 AM CDT up reply actions

We need to put a frickin dragon somewhere on that team. You cant talk about mytology without dragons.
Alse an ogre would be cool as your prototypical big man who has 6 fouls off the bench

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

by Chilai on Jun 17, 2009 5:48 PM CDT reply actions

Chilai, I love the ogre as the “bring in the 6 fouls to give” guy. That’s a great match.

Dragon’s are cool, but again there’s the issue of scale. Maybe we can count all of the tattoos of dragons. Is that good enough?

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 20, 2009 11:48 PM CDT up reply actions

i have a solution: we could use baby dragons. They could fit in the arena and as a plus, they would be on their rookie salaries.

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

by Chilai on Jun 21, 2009 12:32 PM CDT up reply actions

Ok, so where on the team do baby dragons fit? And don’t say that they’ll take the JV’s role, b/c it’s already been bequeathed a number of times already.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 21, 2009 11:36 PM CDT up reply actions

speaking of bequeathed, my friend told me he was in Mexico once and this dancer took a dart and

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 22, 2009 12:37 AM CDT up reply actions

please don’t ban me ATS I couldn’t resist….

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 22, 2009 12:37 AM CDT up reply actions

i think your friend meant the dancer was A quiff -

by cojones2thewall on Jun 22, 2009 8:33 AM CDT up reply actions

Does an Ewok count as a mythological creature? I like him to take the JV’s spot. Also, Chewbacca can be a power forward or center, or a coach with a playoff beard (or hair?).

The Roleplayer's Realm

by silverandblack_davis on Jun 17, 2009 7:38 PM CDT reply actions

Oh, we need to do another post like this one, but with Star Wars this time

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

by Chilai on Jun 17, 2009 8:18 PM CDT up reply actions

comic book characters would be interesting too

by BlaseE on Jun 18, 2009 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions

I’m in for that one.

JV as the tentacle monster that falls in love? Hmmm?

Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders

by LatinD on Jun 18, 2009 12:47 PM CDT up reply actions

mr fantastic is definitely your center…blocking and rebounding are all his even if you muscle him out of the way

by BlaseE on Jun 18, 2009 1:17 PM CDT up reply actions

but stay away from the Thing, he is a rugged center who can snatch some rebounds but offensively his hands are made of stone (literally)

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

by Chilai on Jun 18, 2009 7:02 PM CDT up reply actions

LD, you and your freaky manga. Hah.

The Roleplayer's Realm

by silverandblack_davis on Jun 18, 2009 7:44 PM CDT up reply actions

Grffin. Half eagle half lion- king and lord of air and land. Thats like being deadly from beyond the arc with the ability to take it to the basket.

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 18, 2009 12:58 AM CDT reply actions

*Griffin

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 18, 2009 12:58 AM CDT up reply actions

Good point

deadly from beyond the arc with the ability to take it to the basket

I like it. Sounds like Manu too.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 18, 2009 9:21 AM CDT up reply actions

I was hoping someone would make that connection

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 18, 2009 8:57 PM CDT up reply actions

The Griffin

It’s been a while since anyone gave Manu a new nickname. I’ll definitely be keeping this one in my back pocket. Griffin doesn’t seem quite right, but adding the definite article seemed to do the trick.

Whatcha think, Manuwar?

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 18, 2009 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions

It has been a while hasn’t it? I think the latest nicknames have all been related to his injury laden season. The definite article does give it a needed umph. I like it. The Griffin.

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 18, 2009 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions

It’s nice but isn’t it a little odd to call Manu that when a certain Blake Griffin is also entering the NBA?

The Roleplayer's Realm

by silverandblack_davis on Jun 18, 2009 10:39 PM CDT up reply actions

Good point davis. The Gryphon might work better

...formerly known as speedostuffer

by Manuwar on Jun 18, 2009 10:49 PM CDT up reply actions

Exactly what I was thinking too. Plus it’s gonna be lame to have to retire that nickname when this year’s #1 pick is a bust, or turns out to be an average player.

"If I was the kind of guy who posted a signature line, this would be it from now on." -SiMA

by SgtinManusArmy on Jun 18, 2009 10:50 PM CDT up reply actions

I know we are dealing with Norse gods and Greek mythology here. Allow me to entertain the Black Cat from Spidey comics. Her most important ‘gift’ is very bad luck when she crosses her enemies path.

Think of what happens to every defender when she crosses them over with her superior agility, heightened senses, balance and she always lands on her feet making her one durable smooth lithe wing!

by LionZion on Jun 18, 2009 9:58 AM CDT reply actions

That’s thinking out of the box. And not only powerful on offense after crossing over her defender, but you’d think that giving bad luck to, say Kobe, while guarding him, would make it a difficult shooting night for the Laker.

I want my Manu!

by J.R. Wilco on Jun 18, 2009 12:33 PM CDT reply actions