So the other night, Dever let us down. We were expecting it to be competitive, but something funny happened along the way. For 3 quarters, it looked like it was going to go down to the wire. Tied after the 1st quarter, tied at halftime, tied after the 3rd quarter. What followed was not pretty. The Moonmen made us go "awwwwww" but weren't exactly able to get the job done.
No JR, your face isn't the basket / via failblog.files.wordpress.com
So now, the Lakers are up 3-2 going back to Denver. David Stern sees half of his wet dream slipping away in the Eastern Finals, so what's an evil yet impotent dictator to do? Teach those mean bully Nuggets that they aren't supposed to go to the Finals. Because somebody has a god complex.
First, he will mercilessly assign bogus referees and penalties to those who oppose him.
Lebron and Kobe are both undefeated in the posteason. As such, all remaining games are to be played in Los Angeles and Cleveland for the sake of expediency. May God have mercy on those other teams' souls.
You see, Stern is addicted to his "power". As long as he thinks he has it, he's going to manipulate as much as he can. He'll lie and say he can see Yao Ming's shame from accross a narrow maritime border by his house. And he'll drag down Stu Jackson, James Naismith's good name, and anyone else he has to in order to get his way. That is, unless the people who love him :: crickets :: do something about it.
It's OK, David - we just want you to get the help you need. Hey, what's that sticky stuff on your Lebron jersey? [Thanks to Hipuks for the pic]
What did you expect? An American player? It's the Spurs, you Moran.
So, do you think you're loser enough to hang. If you don't, you're not even kidding yourself. Give your hand a break, and keep yourself busy talking about really meaningful stuff. You know, basketball games. And don't you dare feel bad about being a loser. No one's judging you... OK, maybe someone's judging you:
This is one of the few times that the FSM agrees with "that other guy".
Who wins tonight?
Kobe and the evil empire (36 votes)
Denver and the slightly-less-evil fat fuck brigade (19 votes)
losers (how contradictory) (6 votes)
Robert Horry, for having two threads dedicated to whether he should be in the Hall of Fame (16 votes)
Alfajores! (7 votes)
84 total votes