Garnett's Knee Refuses To Be Intimidated By His Intensity
(AP) Kevin Garnett, the reigning Defensive Player of the Year and the prominent star of the defending NBA Champion Boston Celtics, called a press conference at the TD Banknorth Garden, the team's home arena, to publicly express his displeasure at his sprained right knee.
Garnett, pictured above, seconds before he angrily threw the ball into the stands for refusing to obey his command of going into the basket.
(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)
Garnett, nicknamed "The Big Ticket," initially suffered the injury over two months ago in a road game against the Utah Jazz and it was thought at the time that he would be out only two-to-three weeks. However the 13-year veteran power forward's knee has not responded as expected to treatment and rehab and after returning to the court on March 20th for a game at San Antonio, his comeback lasted only four games before he was shelved again with the same injury.
"I can't take it anymore," Garnett said in his emotional, at times teary press conference. "I've tried everything, man. I've tried screaming at it. I've tried giving it a motivational speech. I've tried making angry faces at it. I've called it a 'motherfucker' until my throat was sore. I even tried punching it when the referees weren't looking, but I think that just made it worse."
He added, "It's just really frustrating, man."
Garnett, who won the NBA title in his first year with the Celtics, is known for his intense play and his fierce, intimidating on-court persona. However, he has been flummoxed that the knee has failed to respond to his repeated cursing, his penetrating, unblinking glare and his rampant cheap shot bullying; all characteristics of Garnett's game that have served him so well throughout his distinguished career, and particularly so last season.
"I haven't been this pissed at anything that wasn't wearing a Spurs uniform," Garnett said in a loud whisper, before baring his teeth at the reporters in attendance and defiantly throwing his bottled water on the ground. He then rose suddenly and screamed "Cocksucker" before gingerly walking off the stage with a slight limp. The transparent gesture, which looked to be plainly rehearsed well before, intimidated absolutely no one.
If Garnett's knee doesn't improve in a hurry, then more of a burden to defend the team's championship will be placed upon the shoulders of last year's Finals MVP, small forward Paul Pierce.
"It's gonna be tough [if Garnett is out or playing injured]," admitted Pierce. If KG is out then I guess me and Ray [shooting guard Allen] will have to take more of the critical shots."
He paused before explaining, "Well, technically we took all of them last year anyway, but now we'll have to more so."
Perhaps no one is taking Garnett's injury harder than Head Coach Glenn "Doc" Rivers, the mastermind of last year's title run.
"I just don't understand it," Rivers said. "Y'all know we're all about Ubuntu here on this club," he began, referencing his well-chronicled motivational ploy of using an African philosophy that emphasizes everyone in the tribe working together as one. "Well KG's knee is just flat out ignoring me and ignoring Ubuntu. It just refuses to surrender its will for the good of the team. Unless we can get the knee to stop being selfish and to start embracing our group concept, we're going to be in trouble."
Meanwhile Allen, the Celtics' other star refused to comment publicly, but strongly hinted that Garnett's knee injury was a part of a conspiracy by League Commissioner David Stern to easier facilitate a finals match-up between the highly popular LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers.
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27 comments
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Comments
Instant Classic.
He might want to try getting down on all fours in front of a mirror and barking at it. Could work… you never know.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 14, 2009 5:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
So you guys don’t do that TWSS stuff anymore, huh?
(Although come to think if it I don’t like to think of KG in that way.)
by olf on Apr 16, 2009 11:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow what a missed opportunity! I’m off my game.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed.
by CMoney on Apr 17, 2009 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
And that’s totally what she said, Cmoney!
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 17, 2009 12:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I just set them up boys…
(I’m personally against the self-TWSS, although I have been known to sucumb on occassion.)
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 17, 2009 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
This one was just plain funny and could actually happen with KG!
/salute
by LionZion on Apr 14, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Uh yea. That was pretty hilarious.
Ubuntu !
http://myspace.com/eme0916
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=569220294&ref=profile
by Ed (dfjmed) on Apr 14, 2009 5:26 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Just great, Stampler. Onionish, as someone said the other day. And that’s a good thing. Thanks for sharing.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on Apr 14, 2009 5:35 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I don’t know about the cola, but Ubuntu is a damn good OS.
by Linix129 on Apr 14, 2009 7:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Great read at the end of the work day! I needed a laugh and this delivered!
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson
by CapHill on Apr 14, 2009 7:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
That Ray Allen bit at the end just reminded me of the recent Cavs-Celts game where he elbow-popped Varejao in the nuts. I think Al Horford (or mebbe Q-Rich) died and reincarnated as Garnett’s bad knee, hence the refusal to be intimidated.
"He is Manu Ginobili." - Gregg Popovich
http://roleplaya.blogspot.com
by silverandblack_davis on Apr 14, 2009 8:41 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
He was suspended for one game for the Varejao punch. Apparently he doesn’t like Brazilians. It’ll cost him $167,000. And yes, he’s way over paid.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 14, 2009 9:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you mean he doesn’t like Argentines*
Please get better for real this time, Manu.
by Tim C. on Apr 14, 2009 10:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
and he doesn't like brazilian hairstyles..
17 + 17 = 34
by 17plus17is34 on Apr 15, 2009 3:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’m pretty sure she meant Brazilian haha.
by Linix129 on Apr 14, 2009 10:40 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Awesome. I like this one better than the Shaq interview. Mostly because I have greater dislike for Garnett.
by speedostuffer on Apr 15, 2009 9:17 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Still funny even if you like KG
by TheAncientRivalry on Apr 15, 2009 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Your really need to submit your work to the Onion. You could do some freelance for them. Well done.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed.
by CMoney on Apr 15, 2009 11:28 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
nice
i’m a fan of your blog now. keep posting funny thing like this one :)
17 + 17 = 34
by 17plus17is34 on Apr 15, 2009 3:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
You should go back thru the archives and read older aaron stampler posts. He’s a truly gifted wordsmith.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 15, 2009 5:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Or click on his nickname, and check his “blog” page. Or click on the “stampler” tag Stampler’s been using lately.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on Apr 15, 2009 9:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ohh… and how could I forget Matthew Powell. Click on some of his old stuff, too.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
by bellasa on Apr 16, 2009 12:30 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
got some love on Ball Don’t Lie. was mentioned here
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Breaking-news-Garnett-could-miss-entire-postsea?urn=nba,156787#comments
What the Bowen giveth Horry taketh away. --LatinD (2008 Playoffs Round 2, Game 1)
the Spurs do not defeat you so much as they grind you into tiny shards of psychological wreckage.
-the Denver Post
by Hamer_SpursFan on Apr 16, 2009 11:09 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Exxxcellent.
Stampler’s path to world domination is paved one link at a time. . . .
by Lauri on Apr 16, 2009 11:12 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Congrats, Stampler.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on Apr 16, 2009 5:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

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