I realize you could throw a number of teams at the end of that sentence ... the Mavs, the Suns, the Nuggets, or the Knicks (Aw, this is PAINFUL to even think about. Imagine rooting FOR the New York Knicks!) and so on ...

Today, however, the sentence ends like this: At least we're not the New Jersey Nets. And please, read the entire post. I promise you, it's worth it. Comments are italicized.

DENVER -- New Jersey Nets forward Sean Williams was arrested Monday at a cell phone store in a mall in suburban Denver on accusations that got into an argument with a clerk and threw a computer monitor. He wasn't available to play against the Denver Nuggets on Monday night.

Nets general manager Kiki Vandeweghe said the team was told of the incident.

Williams is averaging 2.5 points in 30 games this year. How is this news? Even in NJ, who cares that this guy might not be available to play?

At about 2 p.m. Monday, officers responded to a disturbance at a cell phone store at the Park Meadows Mall, Detective Sgt. Ron Pinson of the Lone Tree police said.

"The investigation indicated that Sean Williams had been involved in a verbal altercation with the clerk at the store," Pinson said in a release. "He then picked up a computer monitor and threw it inside the store. The monitor was broken and also caused damage to a printer and signature pad."

Damages were estimated at $1,200 to $1,300, he said.

Pinson said Williams was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct and felony criminal mischief. He was taken into custody without any further incident and transported to the Douglas County Jail, where he posted bond. Pinson didn't know the amount of Williams' bond.

"The Nets have been made aware of a police incident this afternoon involving Nets center Sean Williams," Vandeweghe said in the statement. "We are currently looking into the details surrounding the incident, and since it is an ongoing police investigation, we will have no further comment."

It wasn't clear if Williams would accompany the team's flight home.

Don't worry, New Jersey. Kiki Vandewhatever is on this. They made Williams fly coach to get back to New Jersey. That'll show 'im not to damage 1,300.00 worth of stuff on the counter in the cell phone store.

Hell, I didn't know those gagdets were worth so much. Next thing you know the local Denver streetgangs will start holding up cellphone kiosks and fencing the signature pads.

LOS ANGELES -- If he is frustrated and bewildered by the events of the two previous days, Rod Thorn has decided to suppress it.

Somehow, this didn't seem like the artful dodge of an executive who won't reveal his aggravation over his team's daily pratfalls. It's more like a boss who has concluded that there's no sense beating up a team that has already been beaten enough lately.

So the Nets president, at least for now, will emphasize a few positives:

"I think for the last nine games -- with the exception of the second half at Golden State -- we've played very well," Thorn said. "We could have won every game, we could have lost every game. But we played well. You've just got to close games out, and you do that by making plays and by getting stops. The games we do that, we've done well."

They're a season-worst nine games under .500 -- which means they haven't done it often enough -- and they may not have bottomed out yet.

Or perhaps they have bottomed out defensively. They really can't get any worse than they were in the fourth quarter at Portland, which scored on 18 of its last 21 possessions. Passive resistance? They can be better. But it's more likely a case of a team simply being overmatched -- especially in the last three minutes.

"At the end of the day, your record says what you are," Thorn conceded. "We've got 17 to go, we're a half-game out of eighth with four other teams. And we can get better, but we obviously have a hard schedule. But at the end of the day the record tells you what you are."

So do some of the mind-boggling numbers that have emerged from the first two games of this trip. Consider:

* They have received one field goal in 36 minutes from their starting power forward.

*They have yielded 93 free throws in the two games, putting one guy (Corey Maggette) on the line 20 times, and another guy (Brandon Roy) 17 times.

* They have blown leads of 14 points in one game, and 12 in the other.

* And when Devin Harris is your leading rebounder for two straight games, you really have problems.

But it's his reaction to the first item that tells you Thorn was in a generous mood yesterday. Indeed, just when you think the team has had its fill of Yi Jianlian, the Boss came out with this:

"I felt in the first half, Yi played as well defensively as he had all year," Thorn said. "They go to (LaMarcus) Aldridge a lot, but Yi was terrific. When he came back midway in the game in the fourth, he didn't play as well. But I was encouraged by the way he guarded, and the intensity level he played with.

"That's the kind of focus he has to come with every night. It shows he can do it. He contested every shot that guy (Aldridge) took. So that was encouraging, because it shows he can do it. Now if he can guard without fouling, you're halfway there. Because you know he can make an open jump shot. So I was encouraged."

Vince Carter's struggles? Thorn credited Blazers rookie Nicolas Batum.

This is the way Thorn is going to play it, at least for now -- which is probably just as well, because his team is just one of six that are having the same problems with their consistency.

The players rationalize this, too. For example, while Harris admits that the frustration level "is growing," he quickly adds that no team vying for the eighth seed in the Eastern Conference is going to run away and hide.

"We're still right there," he said. "It's not like the teams are moving up -- they're losing just as much as us right now. Hopefully the absence of critically-important backup center Sean Williams will not jeopardize their position as eighth-seed.

No team vying for the eighth seed in the Eastern Conference is going to run away and hide, damnit! Even though they should, because the Eastern Conference is a disgrace to basketball ... excluding the Celtics v. Lebron James bum-pat fest, of course (Bushka's words). 

Feel Better, San Antonio. No matter how bad things get, we don't have to live in New Jersey.

Sabre