Spurs Versus Forces of Evil PtII

by Sabrewulf on Feb 11, 2009 2:21 PM CST Comment 27 comments

Alright, so Gregg Popovich is Obi-Wan, the NBA is the Evil Empire, and David Stern is the Emperor. Stu Jackson is Darth Vader and Tim Donaghey is the guy that Vader choked to after the Spurs defeated the Phoenix Suns in the greatest second-round playoff series of all time ...

Ah, I'm getting carried away. The point is, if a win for the Spurs represents a win for the entire league, where do the other 30 ball-clubs land? With Stern? With us?

Allies:

The Utah Jazz, Jerry Sloan, and that Mormon Owner Guy - Solidly in our corner, especially after the departure of Malone. Sloan is the longest-serving coach in the NBA and the Jazz would be serious contenders if they didn't have so many injuries.

On the Fence

The Boston Celtics (Eeeevil) and Doc Rivers (Good) - Powell raised a great point when he said these guys are the definition of success, especially for a Spurs Veteran-turned-Coach. I just wish Ray Allen wasn't such a whiny little boy and Kevin Garnett wasn't such a freak-show between possessions. They do play really unselfish Basketball.

The Dark Side

The Lakers - No explanation required. However, there are some international players on this team, especially Gasol and Vujacic, that Popovich probably fantasizes about during trips to the wine cellar. Remember how upset Pop got when Kupchak swiped him from Memphis?

The Cavaliers - It's hard to see Danny Ferry at the helm of such a promising team. It's even harder to watch the Lebron-worship that the NBA imposes even in games that have nothing to do with the Cavaliers. I predict will not win an NBA championship until he further involves his teammates in Mike Brown's one-dimensional offense.

Imperial Slaves - Teams that exist solely for Lebron James and Kobe Bryant to score against. Occasionally used to provide new when some disloyal peon questions his role like this recently-traded Lakers benchwarmer.

New York, Memphis, Charlotte ... feel free to contribute your own.

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Comments

Jazz? Really?

How exactly are the Jazz our allies? If they weren’t so banged up at the moment I’d put them squarely in league with Jabba the Hutt. Sure, they’re not actually part of the Evil Empire, but they’re definitely bad guys. Their crowd sucks about as hard as any fanbase in basketball, even when they’re not throwing stuff at our players (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,660224920,00.html).

Plus, their owner’s a homophobic creep – he definitely leaves a slime trail.

by Rand on Feb 11, 2009 4:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Considering he just had his legs amputated, “leaves a slime trail” is poor form. :o)

by Jason Roberts on Feb 11, 2009 5:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Considering he just had his legs amputated, "leaves a slime trail" is poor form. :o)

Ah, this site never disappoints …

But c’mon, be dispassionate for just a minute. This isn’t about which teams you LIKE. There’s only one team in the whole league worth rooting for, and membership on this site means we all answered that question correctly.

I don’t care if their owner’s a homophobe. I don’t care if their fans get crazy. Hell, our fans cheered when David West went down in the playoffs last year.

I just think the Jazz are one of the only OTHER clubs that does well emphasizing defense, effort, and teamwork over individual performance, and I like the fact that they back Jerry Sloan.

"Only a SPURS trophy will save us now."
- SiMA

"HEY! Amare Stoudamire does NOT! eat ice cream when on defense."
- Anonymous Suns Fan

- "Sportscenter - A total bum-pat fest of Kobe versus Lebron and how great it was. SOMEONE STOP THE BUS I WANT TO GET OFF!"
- Bushka

by Sabrewulf on Feb 12, 2009 9:14 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Jar-Jar

Stephen A. Smith is JarJar Binks! Awsome!

One man's toxic sludge is another man's popuri

by Big50 on Feb 12, 2009 10:02 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

I tend to look at Pop as a sort of Captain Kirk in a Star Wars NBA.

by SgtinManusArmy on Feb 12, 2009 11:15 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

That’s not a bad try, SiMA, but there are enough “off-beat” characters in the Star Wars universe for you to make your point, without going a completely different way.

So, I’m calling B.S. here. You’ll have to try again — even if it requires you to do some research.

TITLEBOT 21 READY TO PERFORM MISSION. BANK SHOT CALCULATING.
- Goathair at theblowtorch.blogspot.com

by jollyrogerwilco on Feb 12, 2009 7:57 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Pop’s much more like Obi-Wan Kenobi than he is like Captain Kirk. If you want to talk Star Trek captains, he’s more like Jean-Luc Picard—no nonsense, but with a warm side and a great relationship with his underlings.

Phil Jackson is much more like Captain Kirk: insufferably arrogant, takes actions others would consider risky, but knows what he’s doing and seems to come out ahead in the end more often than not. He is also kind of like Yoda—does a lot of annoying and downright bizarre things, but when it comes down to it, he knows his stuff.

by tomasito on Feb 13, 2009 1:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Okay nerds, I was just trying to make the point that Pop is unconventional and so different from the other “cookie cutter” coaches that he requires a completely seperate arm within the analogy. Thank you for using your superior science fiction skills to negate my comment.

insufferably arrogant, takes actions others would consider risky, but knows what he’s doing and seems to come out ahead in the end more often than not.

I do think this sounds exactly like someone we know though.

by SgtinManusArmy on Feb 13, 2009 1:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Poor SiMA… You don’t enter a nerd-sniping thread half-cocked.

Thing is, Pop doesn’t smile for the cameras. He can’t be Kirk.

Oh, and who’s excited about the new movie? Sylar as Spock strikes as brilliant.

Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!

by LatinD on Feb 13, 2009 3:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

It looks like it’s going to be so awesome.

by tomasito on Feb 13, 2009 4:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

and Simon Pegg as Scotty

It’s not like JJ Abrams can do no wrong — but he doesn’t usually make crap.

I’ve always liked Star Wars more than Star Trek, but I’m starting to seriously geek about about the new Trek.

TITLEBOT 21 READY TO PERFORM MISSION. BANK SHOT CALCULATING.
- Goathair at theblowtorch.blogspot.com

by jollyrogerwilco on Feb 13, 2009 5:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I know, I know… pick me, pick me!

His name rhymes with…

Oh Damn… we’re still under truce aren’t we….

I am happy. I am proud. - Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Feb 13, 2009 5:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Glorious, bella. I was actually talking about Pop, but I get your message. And yes, we’re still under a truce.

And you look very nice today.

by SgtinManusArmy on Feb 13, 2009 5:41 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Pop? Yes, of course that’s who I meant. ;-)

Thank you… you look very nice, too… very argentine. I hope you have a wonderful weekend, honey-pie!

I am happy. I am proud. - Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Feb 13, 2009 6:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Ahhhh. Honey-pie.

TITLEBOT 21 READY TO PERFORM MISSION. BANK SHOT CALCULATING.
- Goathair at theblowtorch.blogspot.com

by jollyrogerwilco on Feb 13, 2009 8:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

nice catch, JRW. I actually meant to write, honey-bunny… much more appropriate don’t you think?

I am happy. I am proud. - Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Feb 14, 2009 1:00 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

yes, I agree that honey-bunny is much more appropriate

TITLEBOT 21 READY TO PERFORM MISSION. BANK SHOT CALCULATING.
- Goathair at theblowtorch.blogspot.com

by jollyrogerwilco on Feb 14, 2009 9:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Great minds think alike!

I am happy. I am proud. - Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Feb 14, 2009 10:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

but she was dangerous. nervous and dangerous

are we sure that’s a good fit for SiMA?

TITLEBOT 21 READY TO PERFORM MISSION. BANK SHOT CALCULATING.
- Goathair at theblowtorch.blogspot.com

by jollyrogerwilco on Feb 14, 2009 1:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I can’t answer that question… I can’t break the truce. This whole Peace thing is hard.

biting my lip… biting my lip… biting my lip.

I am happy. I am proud. - Manu Ginobili

by bellasa on Feb 14, 2009 3:54 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Still Hate the Jazz

And the Celts (feel like they bought championship, like the one Cuban tried to). But I see your point, both teams share the ball, play solid D and have good coaches. Ray Allen makes for a good Princess Leia BTW

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius

by raynorschiene on Feb 12, 2009 11:47 AM CST reply actions 0 recs