WatchSpurs
by Rand on Nov 3, 2009 10:06 AM CST
54 comments
This was inspired by boredom and a comment from 'the little o' in response to the excellent BatManu wallpapers with which silverandblack_davis has favored us. So, credit and blame where it's due. Since it's early in the season, I think we could all use a little hyperbole - plus a reverse jinx, to counter all the positive energy around this year's team. We've compared the boys in black and silver to everything else under the sun; why not to the most dysfunctional team of them all?
If you haven't read 'Watchmen', go do that. If you've only seen the movie, go read the book. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ... the WatchSpurs
Tim Duncan - Dr. Manhattan
The Superman is real, and he is a Spur. Timmy's been called cold, unemotional. Even inhuman. He's strangely unloved by the media, despite being by far the greatest ever to do what he does. He is obsessed with the fundamentals of his universe, and making love to him is like being with three men. Only he can save us.
Tony Parker - Rorschach
I know, I wanted Manu to be Rorschach too, but it just ain't the case. Tony is the one who relentlessly takes the fight to the enemy - he's just a little guy, but he will throw himself into mortal danger on principle. His penetration cannot be stopped, he cannot be kept out. He's the leader of our offense. And he talks strangely. He's Rorschach.
Manu Ginobili - The Comedian
Life's a jest, and Manu knows it. Unpredictable, mercurial - you think you know him, he seems like a nice guy, and then he goes and torches the other team to the ground. Manu does not care who you are. Manu does not care what you've done. Manu will do what he wants and take what he wants, by force if necessary. He will kill a defenseless animal or break an opponent's ankles, and he'll do it with a smile on his face.
Richard Jefferson - Ozymandias
On the team, but not of the team - Rage is still something of an outsider. He's still something of an afterthought, but we ignore him at our peril. We know he's got the tools to be horrifically destructive, but our opponents won't recognize them until the damage is done.
George Hill - The Nite Owl
Last year during the preseason it's like he'd forgotten who he was - poor shooting, tentative game management, almost like he'd forgotten who he was. Now he's wearing the uniform that makes him who he is, and he's busting out a set of tools that our opponents don't know how to counter. Best of all, he's finally getting his numbers up again.
DeJuan Blair - The Silk Spectre
He never wanted to be a late-round draft pick. It's not his fault that he fell all the way to the Spurs. But what the hell - he's here now, and he's got a big ol' chip on his shoulder. Some punks are gonna get beat down. And let's be honest ... we'd all hit that.
Oh ... and if somebody with artistic talent were able to create a WatchSpurs wallpaper, it would have a permanent home on my desktop. FYI.
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This is so wrong, and so right. But I hate you for making Tony Rorschach. There’s something very wrong with you.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on Nov 3, 2009 9:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I absolutely love this! Great idea! I feel you were very honest with your interpretation of who is whom, and hilarious, well, that’s a given. Rec’d to the triple tim team love making (too much coach?).
When the tooth fairy's own tooth falls out, it is taken during the night by Princess Peanut.
by the little o on Nov 3, 2009 10:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Tim Duncan has a huge blue wang?
If you haven't lived with a squirrel, you haven't lived. - Bob Ross
by Hipuks on Nov 3, 2009 11:04 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Although G.Hill as Nite Owl, er, uh… doing that thing with Blair as Silk Spectre, I, uh… nevermind.
by silverandblack_davis on Nov 3, 2009 11:33 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Tim Duncan has a huge blue wang?
make that a triple
There are no sacred cows for DSL except for holy cow Blair.
by 'DSilverlining on Nov 4, 2009 7:03 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh man. I love starting a day like this. . . .
WWTD?
by Lauri on Nov 4, 2009 7:32 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Verra nize
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 6:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I know we should be over it, but…Bruce should have been the comedian (at least in years past).
by xman130 on Nov 4, 2009 11:30 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Bruce might be Nite Owl I (Hollis Mason). The original lock down defender who is now turning to the media since its all said and done.
by BlaseE on Nov 4, 2009 12:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
this is completely and utterly epic man!! great job!! i could see this happening
Rage-(telling his defender)I´m going to win the game with an off ’balance 3 pointer in your face
defender- you´re crazy, ï won´t let you!
Rage- let me? i did it 3 seconds ago
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 12:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
An epic comment for an epic post.
I love it. You’ve inspired me, see below.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 6:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Other than the homosexual and racist stuff, you could make a case for Robinson as Captain Metropolis:
1. Ex Military
2. Original Leaders
3. Motivated by ending social ills
4. Has to defend his motivations/beliefs
5. From Wiki, "Metropolis often appeared timid, weak willed and easily flustered. " I’ve always disagreed with those statements about Robinson, but some people insist he needed Duncan’s edge to win because he lacked some of the competitive fire himself.
Another point against the comparison is that he tried to form another team, Crimebusters, later in life. I don’t see Robinson doing that.
by BlaseE on Nov 4, 2009 12:42 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Tony as Rorschach
Rorschach’s Journal. Before Game 3, Finals, 2007: Cavalier carcass at shoot-around this morning, sneaker tread on the back of a bald head. This league is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The courts are extended gutters and the gutters are full of Gatorage and when the drains finally crust over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their hacking and flagrant fouls will foam up about their waists and all the cheerleaders and refs will look up and shout “Pass the ball!”… and I’ll whisper “no.”
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 6:51 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
hahaha that sir is fricking awesome and more epic than my own comment. great job!! do another one!!
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 7:03 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you sir are mental. rec!
There are no sacred cows for DSL except for holy cow Blair.
by 'DSilverlining on Nov 4, 2009 7:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you’re back! well sorta… what’s that? you were just in the bathroom for a little while? Oh, it felt like an eternity!
When the tooth fairy's own tooth falls out, it is taken during the night by Princess Peanut.
by the little o on Nov 5, 2009 1:01 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
super busy bro. I’m also posting at Spurs basketball blog of Robby
There are no sacred cows for DSL except for holy cow Blair.
by 'DSilverlining on Nov 8, 2009 7:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
GOL’d
When the tooth fairy's own tooth falls out, it is taken during the night by Princess Peanut.
by the little o on Nov 5, 2009 12:09 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Hah. This might be your best comment ever, jolly. I love you.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on Nov 5, 2009 5:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
There’s a lot of love around PtR the last couuple of days. Wayne dropped a couple of L-bombs in his Tour post and now you.
Is this a kinder, gentler PtR?
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 5, 2009 5:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Fuck that shit.
If you haven't lived with a squirrel, you haven't lived. - Bob Ross
by Hipuks on Nov 5, 2009 6:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thank you for restoring order around here, H. Now let’s get back to the games, shall we?
by silverandblack_davis on Nov 5, 2009 6:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
For Metroplex
You see, Duncan, Stern didn’t fix those games. Crawford didn’t set the salary cap and Donaghy didn’t negotiate the collective bargaining agreement. If Larry O’Brien saw what any of us did that night he didn’t seem to mind. From then on I knew… Naismith didn’t make the game this way. We do.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 7:42 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
For Wayne
Duncan, you’re shooting ‘em too low. Don’t wish to interfere with shooting of free throws, but perhaps should use quads before…
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 7:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Now I can't seem to stop
None of you understand. I’m not out on the court here with you. You’re out on the court here with ME!
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 7:55 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
It's just so easy
Rorschach’s Journal: Jun 24, 2009. Tonight, a defender was traded to Milwaukee.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 7:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Somebody knows why.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 8:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Somebody knows.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 9:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Duncan as Doc Manhattan to the player who wins the scoring title:
I’ve walked across the sun and won 4 championships. I’ve seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you… you are just a man. And this league’ highest scorer means no more to me than does its highest scoring termite.
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 10:18 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Tangent warning
highest scoring termite
Insect 1: I know a place, just a couple of abandoned houses over, where the Hymenoptera get busy nightly.
Insect 2: Yeah? Is that where the highest scoring termite hangs out?
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 10:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
lol hahaha damn promiscuos termites
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 10:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
here's another one
this time Manu as Rorschach in a session with psychiatrist:
Rorschach: [examining inkblot test and answering honestly] Bat. Bat knocked out on hardwood.
Dr. Long: And, uh. What do you think knocked the bat out.
Rorschach: I did.
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 10:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Nice one, but Tony should know that you do NOT want to take credit for Manu The Comedian’s work.
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 4, 2009 10:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hey how do i post a picture on here? i did a dr.manduncan pic..it sucks cuz i only have windows paint but i tried
by metroplex on Nov 4, 2009 11:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Have the pic hosted on a site like tinypic (what I use) or imageshack, then copy the url. Click the little tree icon you see here in the comment box and paste the url of the photo.
by silverandblack_davis on Nov 4, 2009 11:42 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
So Flickr’s not cool around here?
"Yes, it's important that I have good numbers, and I'm well-respected as a player. But I think it's more important that I'm respected as a man." - Some Tall Guy Who Wore #50
by theonlyromeo on Nov 4, 2009 11:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Depends. I’m not using it so it’s not cool. Plus, “tinypic” somewhat amuses me more than “flickr”.
by silverandblack_davis on Nov 5, 2009 12:49 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks. Really.
"Yes, it's important that I have good numbers, and I'm well-respected as a player. But I think it's more important that I'm respected as a man." - Some Tall Guy Who Wore #50
by theonlyromeo on Nov 5, 2009 7:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Dr. Manduncan
<img src="[IMG]http://i34.tinypic.com/2w1w2vt.jpg[/IMG]"/>
by metroplex on Nov 5, 2009 5:28 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Dr. manduncan
<img src=“”http://tinypic.com" target="_blank">
"/>
by metroplex on Nov 5, 2009 5:30 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I like
Consider the gun jumped
5 in 10
by jollyrogerwilco on Nov 5, 2009 5:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Whoa. Now that is cool. I hope he slaps KG around.
by silverandblack_davis on Nov 5, 2009 6:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i hope he slaps him around too hahah
by metroplex on Nov 5, 2009 6:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and another Dr. Manduncan. again sorry for the crappy quality i just have windows paint..be merciful
by metroplex on Nov 5, 2009 5:32 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
That’s with MS Paint? Good Lord! I’d be afraid of what you could produce if you had a decent photo editor.
by xman130 on Nov 6, 2009 1:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
aw shucks, thanks xman. i did both of them with ms paint and it takes for freaking ever…especially the one where garnett’s guarding him. what’s the best photo editor in your opinion?
by metroplex on Nov 8, 2009 1:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
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