Pictorial and Statistical Recap of Jazz-Spurs

by Wayne Vore (ATS) on Nov 21, 2009 2:57 PM CST in Game Previews

I felt bad that JanieAnnie sent me these pictures late Thursday night and I didn't use them. With her photos and in the spirit of Fred, I give you this statistical recap.

He's dissing Tim on the intro and this is the closest he came to bodying up his assignment all game. -1

Too much angle in the lower body. Even if this shot went in, which is unlikely, it was lucky. -2

You can't out low and out leverage a shorter man. -1

Tim is too experienced to even try and this shows the inability to learn. -4

Looks like The JV attempting a layup. -5

Getting paid $14.2M and making me think of The JV. -10

Challenges jumper. +1

Ineffective when doing what you are supposed to be doing. -3

Arabesqueing? -1

Arabesqueing with Boozer? -100

JanieAnnie says Pop was glaring at Joey Crawford tyring to get a technical and failed.

Failed to get a T from Joey 'T' Crawford? -5

No, really. That's not a foul. That's just Tim being wimpy and trying to avoid contact. This is a man's game and you have to be physical. You can't shy away from contact. -3

Terrible jumpshooting form. That won't get you off the bench rookie. -2

Still trying and still failing. -8

Could we have more guys with ugly shots? Split leg leaners? Any wonder you are in a shooting slump? -5

Hill_jumpe2_medium

Nice form. +1

Shot too early in shot clock. -1

Shot too early in shot clock as a point guard. -2

Mcdyess_thriller_medium

No dancing is not allowed. -1

Doing Thriller is just plain disrespectful. -4

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Comments

Great recap. But you’re old and bald, -55

If you haven't lived with a squirrel, you haven't lived. - Bob Ross

by Hipuks on Nov 21, 2009 3:11 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

These stats are full of awesomeness. I’m hoping to see more of these captions in the future. Thanks JanieAnnie for sharing these pics. And you too ATS.

When the tooth fairy's own tooth falls out, it is taken during the night by Princess Peanut.

by the little o on Nov 21, 2009 3:40 PM CST reply actions

I give this post a +3,5.

Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders

by LatinD on Nov 21, 2009 3:46 PM CST reply actions

You mean +3.5, don’t be a foreigner.

If you haven't lived with a squirrel, you haven't lived. - Bob Ross

by Hipuks on Nov 21, 2009 3:49 PM CST up reply actions

Great recap, Wayne. Love the captions, and I think the Official Fred Silva Scoring System is going to stick.

My people call it "sarcasm." - Lauri

by CapHill on Nov 21, 2009 4:40 PM CST reply actions

Nice, love the picks JanieAnnie – thanks. ATS, your summary was on the mark.

"Mr. Gilmore deserves to be in the Basketball Hall of Fame damnit. Highest field goal percentage EVER"

http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/g/gilmoar01.html

by Joe deLarios on Nov 21, 2009 6:07 PM CST reply actions

More like a “sadistical” recap, but love the fotos!

Honestly. You kids today, with your hippity-hop music and your Twiddle. - Lauri

by p2cat on Nov 21, 2009 6:31 PM CST reply actions

Doing Thriller is just plain disrespectful. -4

Hi. La. Rious.

So what’s our final number for the game? I’m too lazy to count. Addition and subtraction isn’t as easy as it seems.

"Yes, it's important that I have good numbers, and I'm well-respected as a player. But I think it's more important that I'm respected as a man." - Some Tall Guy Who Wore #50

by theonlyromeo on Nov 22, 2009 5:54 AM CST reply actions