I don't know quite how to say this, or what to do about it, but a new precedent has been set, and I feel like there's no going back to the way things were.
Tonight, for the first time since 2002-03, I went to the box score for a Spurs game I hadn't seen and analyzed the stats of the player I was most curious about, to see how he did. And it wasn't Manu Ginobili.
I'm so confused. I feel like I cheated on him. And it's not like I had some internal struggle and just couldn't help myself.
I didn't even realize that I'd done it until after I'd already noticed the double double, checked out the shot chart, calculated the rebound rate, tsked over the negative +/- number, and wondered about the zero assists. In fact I was just thinking about how long I'd likely have to wait before I could see me some HeavyD highlights, and was about to close the browser, when I realized that I hadn't checked The Sickness' box score.
I was disoriented -- off balance. The screen went swimmy and I thought I heard a muffled sob. Off in the distance, a single wolf howled a mournful note of sorrow and regret. A murky blackness hovered before my eyes and disappeared, replaced by the glow of the monitor and ... Manu's box score. I went over it, but my heart wasn't fully in it. It
seemed seems like a dream, but I know it's the truth. It happened. And I wonder if he can forgive me.
Or if I can forgive myself.
Is it over between BLOG and me? No! Never ... it can't be. -- But I don't know what happened tonight. I just know that something new has begun. There's no doubt about that.
I was already starting to make plans for when LatinD came to town. I was going to get a brand new Manu jersey and rock # 20 as I hung out with PtR'ers and had a blast watching the Spurs.
Now ... as I think about a different number, I wonder how I'll look in a 45 jersey.
If Manu hasn't been replaced as my favorite player, he's at least currently sharing that spot with ... DeJuan Blair a rookie. Whether it was just a dalliance, or something deeper; only time will tell.